Chapter 168: Are You Ready For This?

This will be the most random blog ever, I have a lot to say about a lot of little different things and I don't feel like writing little separate blogs for it. So get ready. Now the question is....where to begin?

Quick update with A&W. He's weird and strange, still I like him and I want him to like me. But I can't figure out if I'm just bugging him. I mean, he was the first to send a message, but was it more a message of, "Hey, thanks for adding me as a friend weirdo"? But he didn't send my sister one, so that's got to mean something right? But you read that first message...I mean, what does that mean?
So for your perusal, and more desirably your assistance and advice, the following string of messages ensued.

ME: Hey! The baptism went well. Burrito was so well behaved I wondered what my dad threatened him with. Things here in VA are good; we just got a bunch of much needed rain so that was nice.
I'm glad to hear that you are good, but I'm curious as to what you have against onions. I mean, I’m not an onion fan myself but I don’t slander them, squirrels on the other hand I’m more vocal about.

A&W: hey don't be hatin on my squirels they have feelings to alright, nah I love onions just came to my mind to say, so yea that's about it, glad Buritto had a good day and was well behaved, that's always a plus, well toodles. A&W (direct paste except for name changes, so I don't even want to talk about misspellings or the improper use of "to", "two," and "too").

ME: I take it you've never been chased by a squirrel, never seen one bounding towards you or hiding behind the door when you are trying to get to class...yeah, they may have feelings but it doesn't change the fact that they are ruthless punks.

And up until I pasted that it was the end of our conversation. But while I was typing the blog he wrote back. Don't you just love up to the minute updates?

A&W: thiis is true however they are good eating, mission was the first time I had squirel and they make a great meal, so yea, well how's life in Richmond, good I hope, utah is still here with tons of churches, and they are all the same church haha, whahoo. well toodles A&W (Again direct paste...I'm a little tired of the "toodles").

I hope he's kidding about eating the squirrel. If he is it turns out he's worse about lying to people than I am. Not a bad thing, as it's a characteristic I like about SM2. Anyway, I just wonder what's happening here. Is he just really bad at carrying on an e-mail conversation? Does he just write back because I keep writing? And since I am doing the same will the toodles never end? Am I bugging him and he actually hates me? I really do have these kind of insecurities beleive it or not and I can trace them back to high school when I had this huge crush on this guy (not the biggest but this guy was so flipping cute...now that I'm older and wiser if I could go back I doubt I would have liked him at all) but it turned out he hated me. I don't know why he hated me, but he did and he was rude about it. Pretty much I'm just wondering if I'm wasting some good material on this kid.

And I'm tired of everyone saying I like them young. Petunia says it, Moxie says it, my sister says it. I know I am probably the one mostly to blame because I wrote it in here, but I'm beginning to think it's too obvious to the world at large.

Slight transition (probably the last one that makes any sense).
Speaking of Facebook messages, I got a random one yesterday. I hadn't realized that I was actually on a dating service. So here's what the Random guy said:

Random Guy:Hope you are off to a terrific evening and a fantastic holiday weekend Honey(changed by me). But why so mad at DHL??Love that last name, simply MUST be Polish LOL

Me: Nothing because I haven't written back

“MUST” be Polish? MUST? I almost find this insulting, but since it’s basically true I can’t really say too much. After reading this message I’m thinking, “Who the heck is this guy? Does he work for DHL or something?” I clicked on his profile and find he doesn’t, so that’s not why he is messaging me. I also see that the guy is 13 years older than me, landing him in his late thirties...so why the hell is he typing "LOL"?

Perplexed I bring it up to my roommates who tell me it’s kind of fun to have a stalker…yeah…kind of, but I don’t like that he knows my last name and we are both in the same city and everything. It’s just creepy.

I tried to let it go, but couldn't so I looked at the message again and I finally notice the subject line. I’m not going to lie, I don’t pay much attention to subject lines unless they are work e-mails. So the subject line says, “Found you on Most Eligible Singles....and very glad I did :)” and yes folks, that’s a smiley face at the end. Is this how internet pick up lines work? Then I think, “What the heck is Most Eligible Singles?” I type it in to the Facebook search and it’s some application that I don’t recall ever adding so I’m wondering why someone found my profile on there. I blocked the application last night because I couldn’t remove it, because I never had it. It bothers me that I’m on it if I didn’t add the application.

Now, knowing all the background I can give you, if you read that message does it sound like someone who is trying to get to know me for dating potential or like a gay guy who wants to be my friend? I'm thinking he's gay and just in denial. I get this impression not only from the "Simply must be" but also because I checked out his profile. He's either gay or he's a not so well dressed metro, but honestly, my vote stays with gay. I could be wrong, he could just be a very feminine heterosexual, almost 40 year old man. Either way, I'm not interested.

Okay, here's a jump.

Last night we had a little gathering at my house. Last year Petunia, Musician, and I had people over to my house when all of my roommates had skipped town to go to the beach. So this year I felt like we should do it again, except my roommates now all stayed in town. The shindig was to start at 8 and by 8:30 Petunia wasn't here. I almost cried my heart out but sent her a text instead and she said she was on her way. So I socialize with some of the guests and then I notice Petunia standing in the little "foyer" outside my bedroom (where the laundry room, the bathroom, and bedroom meet). I asked her how she came in because I didn't remember anyone else coming through the front door and I could have sworn that the outside door of my bedroom was locked. As it turns out it was locked, but could be pushed open (I've got to start making sure I push that thing shut).

So later Petunia and I are talking in my room and I don't know if SFHB didn't realize that Petunia was still at the house but we could hear her talking to Pack Rat upstairs in the kitchen and she starts to talk about Petunia coming in through my door. Like it's any of her business anyway. I mean, why did she even think to bring it up? We couldn't hear the rest though so I don't know if it was casual conversation because SFHB likes to talk about other people so much or if she was upset that Petunia came through my door. It will always be a mystery I guess. She brought it up later in front of us, but by that point she was in her "just kidding" kind of mode. Where she brings it up and laughs and laughs about it because she found it so humorous. When really she was probably pissed about it.

Ready for another jump?

It's not that big, if I explain that I was going to write what I just wrote and then last night I was sitting in the living room with Moxie and SFHB. Now, my roommates like to sit in the front room looking at the internet on their laptops. So we can all be in the same room for hours but not interact with each other (barring Moxie and I sending each other messages on G-chat). My internet wasn't working last night for some reason or another so I couldn't surf the net. Instead I decided to stare at Moxie and SFHB, no joke, I just stared at them. Moxie would notice and look back sometimes, but I'm not good with eye contact so I stopped looking at her after a while. Then I stared at SFHB...nothing, no reaction. She didn't seem to be aware that I was staring at her. It's weird to stare at someone you dislike, to look at them and they have no clue you are looking at them. You get to see their features clearly and you wonder why you hate them. But of course, in the silence that I had while staring at her I didn't have to listen to her voice, I didn't have to think about how stupid what she said was, I didn't have to listen to her talk about people she doesn't like. Then I started to think...Slut faced ho bag? What does it mean to be slut faced? Is there a face that is considered to be slutty or is it more of a kind of figure of speech? What defines it? Then I decided that maybe it is two faced nature that would define it. At least for me. So in essence, I am a slut faced person. I'm not a ho-bag as well, that's reserved for SFHB.
I don't know if I so much like being slut faced, I think I'd rather just continue to be a fugly slut.

Anyway, not to sound random or a bit...ironic? I have to go get ready for church now.