Chapter 152: Match Maker, Match Maker Make Me A Match

I got the wonderful pleasure of seeing my neighbor, Ted Bundy, without his shirt on today. Oh, in case you didn’t catch it, that sentence was dripping with sarcasm.
What else have I gotten to do recently? Oh, I should probably write about my trip.
For starters, I got to see Ducky! Let’s face it, the new nephew was not the highlight of the trip, I didn’t even know the kid. Okay, but he was a plus. Ducky introduced me to my soul mate (henceforth called Soul Mate), who, in the end wasn’t my soul mate, but it was a good try Ducky. Soul Mate, Ducky, Eeyore and I went out to dinner on the Friday night that I was there. Soul Mate and I didn’t really talk and Eeyore forced us all to baby-sit him while he went on a bad drug trip, he talked more than usual, he smiled more than usual, he flat out moved more than usual. I thought he was being pretty flirty with Ducky, and well Ducky thinks he was showing off for Soul Mate…and considering we hung out the next night with Eeyore and no Soul Mate and he was back to his usual Eeyore self, I’m inclined to agree with her (but not about the other thing). We went to Park City and saw Tootsie in the park, no real talking there, though Ducky did make me come with her to the bathroom and kept asking me if I thought Soul Mate was hot. He was a pretty good looking guy, and from his profile looked like my Hollywood boyfriend, Julian McMahon, as shown below…just below this sentence, yeah, right there. …*sigh*

….*double sigh*. I do love me some Julian McMahon. Focus. Who we talking about?
The drive back from Park City was long, because for some reason there was a traffic jam on the interstate at midnight. But there was road work so that’s actually not that strange, but still….midnight? I was sitting in the back with Soul Mate next to me and one of Ducky’s female friends on the right of Soul Mate. So he talked to her most of the time (not that he’s a jerk, he just actually knew her). But nevertheless I sat in the back seat feeling like the fifth wheel to a double date. At one point of the car ride he says, “I’m sorry, I forgot your name.” which was okay, obviously Ducky never speaks of me to him, so how could he remember my name? Yes, that was sarcasm too, and it would be a lot more fun to pick on Ducky in person, because then she could tell that I’m not seriously hurt by anything; I’m just teasing. So we finally started to talk to each other near the end, Ducky’s other friend pointed out that I said, “Remember that one time,” quite a bit, after I said, “Remember that one time the truck iin front of us hit a traffic barrel?” because moments before that’s exactly what happened, pretty exciting stuff if you ask me. He was really nice, and the last 30 minutes were the best part of the evening as far as he and I were concerned. But the whole night was all around good (except for the brief moments I felt like a 5th wheel).
Saturday night I met Soul Mate #2…at least that’s what my mom and my sister are convinced. P.S. my mom and my sister together are extremely annoying to me, because I am officially the only one without a significant other so pressure’s on. But I did use it to my advantage when my brother, sister-in-law and sister, all got upset that I was going out two nights in a row I went off and said, “I’m going to meet Soul Mate #2, this could effect my eternal salvation, but if you guys want me to pass the chance up and call and cancel I will.” And I threw in a little, “It’s really hard being the only single one in this family and being the only one without a cuddle buddy for the movie tonight.” Because really I would have been the only one not paired off. Funniest reaction from everyone, “No, no, that’s okay, if he’s a potential soul mate.” Everyone bought it. I didn’t actually think this guy was going to be my soul mate…I’m just learning to manipulate these people.
This guy was the one that Eeyore wanted me to meet. Not as a dating potential, just to meet him because he’s movie here in the next week or two. He was supposed to come to a movie with us but got held up so was going to meet us afterwards. He was supposed to come on Friday night too, but couldn’t. I told Eeyore I was beginning to doubt his existence. So we went to the movie with Eeyore and his brother, who reminded me slightly of the Dog Whisperer, but less awkward. Strange movie theater, they had reserved seating, so if you want to sit together you have to buy your tickets together…Ghet-toe. Well, people in this theater aren’t the quietest I’ve ever encountered. In the middle of the movie a guy in the row in front of us, not all too far from where Ducky was sitting turns to a girl on our row…again, not too far from where Ducky was sitting and tells the girl to stop doing that. Then all you hear is the girl saying, “Doing what? Stop doing what?” So the guy turns around and starts saying something and she quickly interrupts like she was trained on the Jerry Springer show saying how he is louder now than she was a few minutes ago. I believe Commissioner Gordon calls it escalation, I could easily be wrong. So then (I recall this part next though no one else did) the guy throws a napkin at her like, “whatever hooker,” and then she jumps up grabbing the napkin and throwing it back at him with surprising weight to it. I didn’t think napkins could fly through the air like normal objects, I thought they floated slower and more embarrassingly towards their intended target, yet, not quite reaching it. So the guy says something to her and she clearly and distinctly says, “F-you!” but she didn’t say “f” she said the whole word. All I could think was, “Wow, that was more interesting than the movie!” No sarcasm.
As we come out of the theater we actually meet Soul Mate #2 (SM2…I have a thing for people have 2 in their nickname uh? I wonder who could be R2D2…I’ll have to save that for someone). Turns out the guy is real, Eeyore wasn’t making him up, which is what I was beginning to believe. We all hang outside of the theater for a while talking. It was nice, but I am socially retarded (shocker) so I was incredibly uncomfortable with answering questions. They were simple questions, but at the same time, difficult. Are there are lot of smokers in VA? Is there a rollerblading path? They were difficult because, well, could you answer them? Smokers…about the same as any other place. Rollerblading paths? Use a road, any road. I kept looking at Ducky like she was my security blanket, but she was too far away to help me.
So that’s a goal for me…be less socially awkward.
The rest of the trip was okay. I hated having to say goodbye to Ducky. It didn’t hit me until I got back to VA that I don’t know how long it will be until I see her again. But I only got teary eyed, I stopped the onslaught of tears since my parents were in the front seat on the drive home and I didn’t want them to think I didn’t want to be home…even though I didn’t.