Chapter 168: Are You Ready For This?

This will be the most random blog ever, I have a lot to say about a lot of little different things and I don't feel like writing little separate blogs for it. So get ready. Now the question is....where to begin?

Quick update with A&W. He's weird and strange, still I like him and I want him to like me. But I can't figure out if I'm just bugging him. I mean, he was the first to send a message, but was it more a message of, "Hey, thanks for adding me as a friend weirdo"? But he didn't send my sister one, so that's got to mean something right? But you read that first message...I mean, what does that mean?
So for your perusal, and more desirably your assistance and advice, the following string of messages ensued.

ME: Hey! The baptism went well. Burrito was so well behaved I wondered what my dad threatened him with. Things here in VA are good; we just got a bunch of much needed rain so that was nice.
I'm glad to hear that you are good, but I'm curious as to what you have against onions. I mean, I’m not an onion fan myself but I don’t slander them, squirrels on the other hand I’m more vocal about.

A&W: hey don't be hatin on my squirels they have feelings to alright, nah I love onions just came to my mind to say, so yea that's about it, glad Buritto had a good day and was well behaved, that's always a plus, well toodles. A&W (direct paste except for name changes, so I don't even want to talk about misspellings or the improper use of "to", "two," and "too").

ME: I take it you've never been chased by a squirrel, never seen one bounding towards you or hiding behind the door when you are trying to get to class...yeah, they may have feelings but it doesn't change the fact that they are ruthless punks.

And up until I pasted that it was the end of our conversation. But while I was typing the blog he wrote back. Don't you just love up to the minute updates?

A&W: thiis is true however they are good eating, mission was the first time I had squirel and they make a great meal, so yea, well how's life in Richmond, good I hope, utah is still here with tons of churches, and they are all the same church haha, whahoo. well toodles A&W (Again direct paste...I'm a little tired of the "toodles").

I hope he's kidding about eating the squirrel. If he is it turns out he's worse about lying to people than I am. Not a bad thing, as it's a characteristic I like about SM2. Anyway, I just wonder what's happening here. Is he just really bad at carrying on an e-mail conversation? Does he just write back because I keep writing? And since I am doing the same will the toodles never end? Am I bugging him and he actually hates me? I really do have these kind of insecurities beleive it or not and I can trace them back to high school when I had this huge crush on this guy (not the biggest but this guy was so flipping cute...now that I'm older and wiser if I could go back I doubt I would have liked him at all) but it turned out he hated me. I don't know why he hated me, but he did and he was rude about it. Pretty much I'm just wondering if I'm wasting some good material on this kid.

And I'm tired of everyone saying I like them young. Petunia says it, Moxie says it, my sister says it. I know I am probably the one mostly to blame because I wrote it in here, but I'm beginning to think it's too obvious to the world at large.

Slight transition (probably the last one that makes any sense).
Speaking of Facebook messages, I got a random one yesterday. I hadn't realized that I was actually on a dating service. So here's what the Random guy said:

Random Guy:Hope you are off to a terrific evening and a fantastic holiday weekend Honey(changed by me). But why so mad at DHL??Love that last name, simply MUST be Polish LOL

Me: Nothing because I haven't written back

“MUST” be Polish? MUST? I almost find this insulting, but since it’s basically true I can’t really say too much. After reading this message I’m thinking, “Who the heck is this guy? Does he work for DHL or something?” I clicked on his profile and find he doesn’t, so that’s not why he is messaging me. I also see that the guy is 13 years older than me, landing him in his late thirties...so why the hell is he typing "LOL"?

Perplexed I bring it up to my roommates who tell me it’s kind of fun to have a stalker…yeah…kind of, but I don’t like that he knows my last name and we are both in the same city and everything. It’s just creepy.

I tried to let it go, but couldn't so I looked at the message again and I finally notice the subject line. I’m not going to lie, I don’t pay much attention to subject lines unless they are work e-mails. So the subject line says, “Found you on Most Eligible Singles....and very glad I did :)” and yes folks, that’s a smiley face at the end. Is this how internet pick up lines work? Then I think, “What the heck is Most Eligible Singles?” I type it in to the Facebook search and it’s some application that I don’t recall ever adding so I’m wondering why someone found my profile on there. I blocked the application last night because I couldn’t remove it, because I never had it. It bothers me that I’m on it if I didn’t add the application.

Now, knowing all the background I can give you, if you read that message does it sound like someone who is trying to get to know me for dating potential or like a gay guy who wants to be my friend? I'm thinking he's gay and just in denial. I get this impression not only from the "Simply must be" but also because I checked out his profile. He's either gay or he's a not so well dressed metro, but honestly, my vote stays with gay. I could be wrong, he could just be a very feminine heterosexual, almost 40 year old man. Either way, I'm not interested.

Okay, here's a jump.

Last night we had a little gathering at my house. Last year Petunia, Musician, and I had people over to my house when all of my roommates had skipped town to go to the beach. So this year I felt like we should do it again, except my roommates now all stayed in town. The shindig was to start at 8 and by 8:30 Petunia wasn't here. I almost cried my heart out but sent her a text instead and she said she was on her way. So I socialize with some of the guests and then I notice Petunia standing in the little "foyer" outside my bedroom (where the laundry room, the bathroom, and bedroom meet). I asked her how she came in because I didn't remember anyone else coming through the front door and I could have sworn that the outside door of my bedroom was locked. As it turns out it was locked, but could be pushed open (I've got to start making sure I push that thing shut).

So later Petunia and I are talking in my room and I don't know if SFHB didn't realize that Petunia was still at the house but we could hear her talking to Pack Rat upstairs in the kitchen and she starts to talk about Petunia coming in through my door. Like it's any of her business anyway. I mean, why did she even think to bring it up? We couldn't hear the rest though so I don't know if it was casual conversation because SFHB likes to talk about other people so much or if she was upset that Petunia came through my door. It will always be a mystery I guess. She brought it up later in front of us, but by that point she was in her "just kidding" kind of mode. Where she brings it up and laughs and laughs about it because she found it so humorous. When really she was probably pissed about it.

Ready for another jump?

It's not that big, if I explain that I was going to write what I just wrote and then last night I was sitting in the living room with Moxie and SFHB. Now, my roommates like to sit in the front room looking at the internet on their laptops. So we can all be in the same room for hours but not interact with each other (barring Moxie and I sending each other messages on G-chat). My internet wasn't working last night for some reason or another so I couldn't surf the net. Instead I decided to stare at Moxie and SFHB, no joke, I just stared at them. Moxie would notice and look back sometimes, but I'm not good with eye contact so I stopped looking at her after a while. Then I stared at SFHB...nothing, no reaction. She didn't seem to be aware that I was staring at her. It's weird to stare at someone you dislike, to look at them and they have no clue you are looking at them. You get to see their features clearly and you wonder why you hate them. But of course, in the silence that I had while staring at her I didn't have to listen to her voice, I didn't have to think about how stupid what she said was, I didn't have to listen to her talk about people she doesn't like. Then I started to think...Slut faced ho bag? What does it mean to be slut faced? Is there a face that is considered to be slutty or is it more of a kind of figure of speech? What defines it? Then I decided that maybe it is two faced nature that would define it. At least for me. So in essence, I am a slut faced person. I'm not a ho-bag as well, that's reserved for SFHB.
I don't know if I so much like being slut faced, I think I'd rather just continue to be a fugly slut.

Anyway, not to sound random or a bit...ironic? I have to go get ready for church now.

Chapter 167: Ogres are like onions

So my sister found A&W on Facebook and she told me to add him as a friend. I delayed; mostly because if I added him and he didn’t do anything (i.e. write me professing his undying love for me) I think I would have been disappointed. I also figured that if he was friends with her it wouldn’t be hard to find me. But I didn’t hold out for that either. So yesterday I went ahead and, heart a little nervous, sent him a friend request.

I’m one of those impatient people too; I forget how long ago I actually did something and get upset that the other person hasn’t responded quickly enough. I think you may have seen this in me before. So by this morning I was already anxious and regretted sending the request. I know I have problems; you don’t have to point that out to me.

Just a few minutes ago I had a moment of boredom so I clicked on the Internet and checked Facebook. He accepted my friend request and then I had a message waiting in my inbox. It was short and simple and is as follows:

“Hey how was the baptism? hope ya'll are doing good, utah is good, life is good, but onions are not, anywho, take care, _____”

And then he wrote his name, but he’s subject to anonymity as well. I don’t know how I feel about this message, and I’m not quite sure how to respond back. The baptism he is referring to is Burrito’s, as for the onions…I have no clue. I will be asking if there is a story behind that though, because my curiosity has been peaked.

I don’t know why I’m thinking about it so much, I mean the guy is 2,000 miles away, he’s at a different stage in life, and he’s 4 years younger than me! That’s right! Four years! Beats seven but still. I shouldn't even be thinking about it.

Chapter 166: This is me...on my best behavior

I’m supposed to go to dinner tonight with my roommates. This is worse than having to spend time with my family at Christmas. I like my family, don’t misread that statement, but being forced to hang out with them tends to bring out the worst in me. On my terms my family is awesome, but when that time extends beyond my control things get rocky. Almost the same with roommates except not. Roommates are different; I don’t have to love them despite their short comings because nothing but a year contract binds us together. If I end up liking them, that’s a bonus, but they are not blood so my devotion to them is compromised of my respect for them, the value I place on them (this isn’t as cold as it sounds), and their ability to not grate my nerves. There have been countless roommates who have become friends and some have even become what I would consider family (natural evolution I think).

I’m trying my hardest though. Sunday I had an epiphany, I’ve got to get my act together. Not only was SFHB promoted to second counselor (So every three or so months I’ll have to listen to her teach again) but MM became a teacher. Once a month I’ll have to sit there and pretend that I don’t think she’s full of b.s. Serves me right though, when you think of what I am. I’m no better than her anyway. We are all hypocrites and just because she’s more annoying about it than I am doesn’t make my actions right. So this is what I have to put up with, this is my punishment…or as I have better come to see it, my lesson to learn. Sure MM got exactly what she wanted by become buddy, buddy with Tyrant (yes, I see through that move as well), sure MM hasn’t really come to relief society in who knows how long, sure she asked to be released from her other callings and made it clear that she wanted to be a r.s. teacher, none of it matters. Just let it slide. Let is slide.

I think I’ve done pretty good with SFHB too, considering how I normally am. But dinner? Maybe I’m wrong; maybe we’ll have a great time. But for the moment, for the next 15 or so minutes, I’m going to dread this roommate dinner. It’s probably because we aren’t going to the restaurant I thought we were going to. The only part of this event that brought me excitement because somehow Pack Rat has had the dumb luck to get food poisoning there twice. What are the odds? That’s all I’m asking. …and what the hell do you keep ordering that is giving you food poisoning. There, now I’ve asked all my questions about that.

Chapter 165: Hey Laserlips. Your mama was a snowblower.

The date. I’m sure you all have just been dying to hear the details, which is too bad since I have a faulty memory and nothing too memorable happened.

Around 3:00 PM on Saturday he called me to double check that we were still on for that evening. I was proud to say that I was (Friday I had gotten really sick, probably from venting too much about SFHB.

He came to pick me up a few minutes before 6, just like he had said. He came to the door to get me and then while we were walking to the car he made me put my arm through his, it made me think of when I had to walk down the aisle with my brother at my sister’s wedding. Not something I’m used to doing, but I was better at it with my 6’9” brother than with this guy who is noticeably shorter than I am. He opened my car door for me, I got in, buckled up, but did not open his door from the inside. Probably because the last time I did that I kind of got chastised by the guy (don’t feel like talking about it). Then we were off. I made small talk pretty well I think and then we got to his house where we were going to meet the other two couples. Fiancé and his girlfriend were one couple (I don’t even want to talk about how embarrassing it is to have a fiancé who is in a relationship with another girl), and then Spielberg and…let’s call her Catan, were the other couple.

We went to Five Guys (Burgers and Fries) for dinner. I’ve only been there once, but as I noticed everything is cooked in peanut oil I finally understood why he asked if I had a peanut allergy when he called to ask me out. Dinner went pretty well, nothing earth shattering happened. So we finished and returned to #5’s house. There we were to play Settlers of Zarahemla, which, if you’ve ever played Catan, it’s a lot like that. Catan (the girl not the game) is obsessed with the original game, we aren’t just talking plays a lot, we’re talking she owns several different versions of the game (who knew they existed?) and even knows little fun facts about the game. One useful one, if you’ve lost a piece you can e-mail the company and they’ll send you one for free. But I mean, she knows the dates they were released and in what countries (see why it’s her name now?). We played in teams, which I don’t like to do, it’s not that I’m not a team player. In some games I would be a good team player, in this game…not so much. If I’m going to lose I’d rather do it on my own. I’m not a strategy player and #5 is. I would make a suggestion, but it didn’t go with the strategy, unfortunately he would still listen to me, but not every time. So in the end he listened every time it was detrimental to our game plan, but never when it would help. I’m not bitter, I don’t care if I lose the game, I lose all the time, I’m just stating some facts. Well throughout the game Catan and #5 both displayed their evil laughs. One sounded like an evil laugh and one sounded…socially awkward, I’ll leave it to you who had which.

At one point Catan was talking (she talked a lot on the date) and she mentioned that she teaches Belly Dancing and said something about her belly dancing outfit and I just slipped and instantly said, “That’s awkward.” But not in an offensive way, I don’t think anyone was offended, they just laughed. Near the beginning of playing #5 was explaining the rules and he said, “Then we look at our hand.” And instantly I looked at my hand! Luckily everyone just thought I was kidding, but I really did have a blonde moment. I appreciated that Moxie did the same thing when I was retelling the story. Then later someone said something about how we have to show our hands (we are talking about a hand of cards in case no one is following) and Fiancé sticks out his hand, and his date and I both do it as well. Overall the date was actually fun. We got into the car and it was 8:51….the date was ending right before 9, just like he had said. I was impressed with how well he timed the whole thing. He either does this a lot or that’s his brand of autism. (DISCLAIMER: I believe that we all have Autistic and OCD-like tendencies, I am not insulting him or the autistic community.)

So that was date number 5…bring on number 6!

Chapter 164: She may look like your average slut facecd ho bag, but in reality she is so much more than that.

I realize that it’s been a while since I’ve vented…at least I feel like it’s been a while. I’m not sure if in your eyes my venting is a good thing or a bad thing. So…if you see it as a good thing, prepare to be satisfied. If you see it as a bad thing – my deepest apologies

I guess I’ve been letting it build. She was gone for three weeks, and even when I was out west I didn’t have to spend any time with her. So a nice, long, relaxing break from SFHB. So I picked her up from the airport and tried not to let her talking bug me. She was telling me about the date she went on while home for the break. I asked her to tell me about him, trying to act like I cared. Suddenly she’s giving me a genealogy report! I was half tempted to interrupt her and tell her to just cut to the chase. All you had to say was he’s my brother’s cousin-in-law’s brother…or whatever relation they really were. Somehow he’s “in the family” and had she just told me the direct connection I would probably know right now. But she went the 10 minute route, thus losing everything, my focus, my respect, my patience.

That was just the beginning. Earlier this week I happened to come home at the same time that SFHB and P.R. (Pack Rat) were approaching the house from PR’s car. They were headed towards the front door until I pulled in and then they veered towards my car. I was a little not in the mood to even see them so I sat in my car for a minute pretending to be busy and not even notice them, all while muttering under my breath about how they’d better just go in the front door. But they waited, almost a little impatiently. I got out and SFHB says, “We’re going to cut through your room.” I said, “It’s messy.” And SFHB said it didn’t matter. But you see, it does matter. It’s my freaking room. I don’t like people to see it in the condition that it was in. I flipped her off in my mind and let them go through my room. They could have already been in the house with their stuff set down if they had just taken the front door.

Then on Sunday SFHB says that we should all go out to eat. I tell her that’s a great idea (mostly because I love O’Charleys restaurant). Then she asks what I’m doing for lunch the next day. I tell her I have to go home because I can’t leave my dog that long (I wasn’t going home after work, in fact I wouldn’t be home until late). So she asks about Tuesday and I tell her fine…though I’m wondering when this went from roommate dinner to just the two of us lunch. She says something about it being good because she has felt like she’s had to chase me down to hang out. Get a clue, take a hint, I’m avoiding you.

Anyway, not to completely jump rafts, but several times she’s parked in my spot. I know that we don’t have “spots” in the driveway but it bugs me when she parks where I usually park, right outside my bedroom door. I just don’t understand if she is going through the front door why she needs to be so far up in the driveway. And she parks all the way to the left because she’s certain that we could both park in the area of the driveway. I’ve already told her that I’m not willing to try it with my car (especially since the space she is giving me is between the brick house and her car). So I feel like she’s trying to prove a point, and if I didn’t love my car so much I would prove my own point about how we cannot fit both cars there. Aside from the point that I already made that should someone park where Moxie parks then the car on the right would be trapped…and who is she sticking on the right? Me! So she’s just pissing me off with this. I just don’t see why she isn’t parking on the side of the driveway (though I consider that Moxie’s spot). Or better yet, why doesn’t she just park out front? I can’t help but think that she goes through my room to get into the house, and I know that’s probably some irrational thought but knowing it’s irrational isn’t stopping me from having it. And that irrational thought pisses me off more than anything. I just can’t stand her.

I can hear her upstairs and I can’t even stand the sound of her voice. Her and PR are always sitting on the couches upstairs. I mean seriously, do I have to pay my part for cable when I never even get to watch the damn tv? I know I don’t watch a lot, but being able to watch something I want to would be nice. They are there from the time I get home (5:15) until sometimes midnight. Nothing better to do ladies? Seriously.

Then last night I’m sitting in my bed, watching a movie on my laptop and it’s 11:58 in the p.m. and I have the movie turned up a little loud because I like that theater feeling and I can hear her talking to me, though I can’t tell what she is saying until I hear her say, “I’m coming in.” and then there she is. Coming in my room. She’s got a bag of garbage in her hand and asks if she can cut through to take the garbage out. …now I know I can’t do that in her room and that’s why I don’t ask, but seriously, this is still my bedroom. I’m paying extra rent so I don’t think that just because I have the bigger room with the backdoor that comes out by the driveway means that I should be hospitable to the garbage flow. Now, do you want garbage brought through your room? Chances are no. So I lay on my thickest layer of “annoyed” and say, “Yeah, I guess.” It’s almost midnight you banshee, and that’s just in addition to the fact that it’s rude to constantly be asking me if you can cut through my room to take out garbage. One time she came out my door to grab the recycle bin, I was standing outside with two of the neighbor kids and here she comes through my door. Did I say you could cut through my room bitch? I don’t recall. She tells me she’s going to cut through my room with the recycling and since there are children there I don’t tell her how I really feel about that. Anyway, ignore that digression, last night she comes back in front taking out the garbage and at this point I have paused the movie and am staring at the screen waiting for her to close my door and leave. She says, "What are you watching?" and I tell her without looking up and she finally says, "ok" and walks off. Why are you so damn nosey SFHB!?

I need to stop, because I’m getting a headache and my dog needs me to pay attention to him.

Chapter 163: The Make Out Sign Up Sheet

I feel like I should have saved yesterday's title for today. The reason being? I have my fifth date for the year, so now I need to work on the sixth. I was talking to my roommates Sunday night and told them that if I ended up having an odd number of dates by the end of the year I would kill myself. Not a problem when I said it because I had an even number, but now I'll have an odd. Not that I'm complaining. I'm not complaining.

So the story: Last night my phone kept ringing, not even good calls, unknown numbers and no voicemails. Unimportant, minuscule, obsolete, just plain stupid. One of the calls I foolishly hoped was SM2 calling to ask me on a date, because seriously he needs to just do that already. So this unknown number is calling and I let it go to voicemail. My phone buzzes to let me know that I have a new message. My palms grow sweaty, my stomach churns dinner in an uncomfortable manner. I get through the message telling me how many new messages I have and finally it prepares to let me listen. Then a voice comes through the silent space between, "Deleted from our calling list." I ponder this for .25 seconds and hang up the phone. What calling list? Who was that woman? I decide to let it go and eat a graham cracker. Then my phone is going off again. It's that kid who keeps asking me out - so I let it go to voicemail. I do better knowing what I'm dealing with. I finish watching my movie and then I go over to check my voicemail he left me. He was asking me out again, trying to catch me a little sooner than last time (he gets progressively better).

The voicemail was very detailed, Saturday night, 6pm, group date. I've decided that I'm going to say 'yes' because this guy is persistent, he's nice enough, and he's going back to school in a week so what's the harm. I'm just intrigued that he keeps trying, I mean I feel like I'm a good foot taller than him, i could be wrong, maybe he's taller than I thought. Other than that he keeps asking because I'm flipping awesome...duh. Now if I could only get Charmer or SM2 to give it a shot. Do you think they need more encouragement?

I didn't call him back right away because he called at 10 o'clock at night. So I figured I would call back on my lunch break, which I didn't. I called him after work. I told him I would go and then he gave me full on details, no joke, he told me what we were doing, where we were going to dinner and then the activity afterwards, he even told me about how long the date would last! I joked around with him for a bit and then there was the awkward silence so we finally said 'goodbye'. I'm naming him #5 by the way, because never in my life can I recall having 5 dates in one year.

So I see #5 tonight and I avoid him. I mean, I didn't know what to say and I never really say anything to him after class anyway. I figure it was best to keep things normal. In the meantime Chill comes up to me and starts to have a literary discussion. It was kind of cool, didn't realize he was a deep individual. Then he says, "I heard you have an exciting date Saturday." I assumed he was talking about my date with #5 since it's the only one this summer. I just nodded my head, then Chill asks if I am in love with #5. I shook my head. Then he asked what Temple I was going to get married in, how many kids I wanted to have, etc. So I answered him and then he said, "Are you going to kiss him?" and I shook my head and he said, "Why aren't you going to kiss him if you're going to marry him?" I told him I didn't realize he asked what temple I was going to get married to in relation to #5. I'm not marrying #5, it's just a date people. So then Kermit comes up (I asked him earlier if when we make 'out' we can have rootbeer. He said, "I love rootbeer". I said "I know." ...I was trying to entice him). I tell B2 that Kermit wants to make 'out' with me now. Kermit nods his head enthusiastically. Then Coz Jr. walks by and Chill says, "Do you want to make out with her?" (he doesn't know they are cookies) and Coz Jr. says, "Oh yeah!" Chill (confused) says, "So you want to kiss Kermit?" and I said, "Kissing? Who said anything about kissing?" and he said, "I don't know how you make out but it involved kissing." I think I said, "gross" so he asked me how I make out. I said, "Flour, sugar, oatmeal, eggs, baking soda, etc." So I explained they are cookies. Coz Jr. says, "You've been holding out on me?" (he always asks if I'm going to make him cookies and I told him I'm not that kind of girl.) I told him we could make 'out' if he wanted to, just let me know when.

So B2 found out about my date Saturday from Chill asking me. A group of us went out to eat afterwards and I guess there was a lull in conversation because B2 says, "So, Honey, are you going to make out on your date?" I said ‘no’. He asked how come and I told him it wasn’t part of the date. Then B2 tells everyone that I’m really fun to make out with. I told everyone B2 wasn’t very good at it. He complained that it was his first time and I said it was mine too! Then I made sure to ask him loudly enough if he remembered how I couldn't stop laughing. All the guys (that's right, I was the only girl) start laughing. Then B2 explained they were cookies (probably because his pride had been dented).

Then everyone was asking about my date...nosey gossipers. I told them that this was date number 5 for the year, and I was pretty excited because my motto for the year was, “Get a Date in ‘08” I've done pretty well for myself. But I wasn't sure what to have for '09. B2 said, "Have a good time in '09" and I told him I would. Then I said maybe I could get engaged and it would be, "'Bout time in '09". IDK, I have about four more months to pick it out. I'm signing off now because honestly, this is just way too long. Hope I didn't forget any details. Sorry if I did.

Chapter 162: If I end the year with an odd number of dates I’ll kill myself.

I don’t know why I’m even writing, I mean, you guys never leave comments. Last one was August 7th. Not that I’m complaining, it’s just that I’m wondering if what I am writing is so boring, so stupid, or surprisingly so inoffensive that you aren’t enjoying yourselves. Have I done something wrong? Has my blog taken a turn for the worst?
Should I quickly badmouth someone before I get to what I came on here to write about (i.e. my weekend)? Cause I could, if that’s what you want, I would.

But until I hear it from your lips I will continue on with telling you about my weekend. Friday we left off with a vent. SFHB was really getting on my nerves. Unfortunately Petunia couldn’t even make it over to the house until I had already left for the pool party with Moxie and Duff. I talked to her on the phone though, and we planned to walk the halls during Sunday school on (not to sound redundant) Sunday. However, as she is fully aware she was not at church on Sunday. Digression.
Moxie, Duff and I get the pool party and I feel out of place, which actually isn’t unusual for me. When we first walk in we are hit with this guy, let’s call him Soul Patch, though that may not have been what was on his chin. Soul Patch strikes me immediately as annoying, he reminds me of someone in the ward who we are about to lose to marriage so I’m not very well pleased with the introduction of him to the ward for the next couple of years. But he is like Andy from The Office and uses people’s names a lot, or at least I noticed that he used mine a lot, and when people show they care that much you soften to them a little, that and I think Duff likes him so I might as well support. He is just still a little annoying for me. His roommate comes in though and he introduces us to him, and his roommate is cute. Moxie and Duff go outside and I find a friend and chat with for a bit, then Moxie made me go outside. Luckily said friend comes with me and we stand quietly on the deck. She’s not as talkative as she used to be, but I still try to make small talk with her anyway. I just remember her being peppier, but maybe she was tired, I’m not sure. Finally we decide to go back inside. I talk to her for a bit, talk to a few other girls, and then zone out on the music videos that are slightly appalling to me. I get up to answer Petunia’s call. When I came back in someone was sitting in my seat. I gave people dirty looks (jokingly) about the lose of my seat and then finally am told I could sit by Soul Patch (not his suggestion) so I walk up and point at the open spot and tell him I’ll be sitting there. He says, “No problem, Honey” remember that he didn’t call me “honey” he used my name there, this guy isn’t a sleaze (at least not from what I can tell yet). So we sit there in silence. I didn’t have anything to say to him and I wasn’t trying to be rude, I just couldn’t think if I should or wanted to get into a conversation with him.

Moxie and Duff and a few other girls come walking through the house and go upstairs, I stay seated for a while, but soon I decide I’d rather go talk to them than sit wordlessly by Soul Patch. I stand up, tell him it was a pleasure to sit next to him, and go upstairs to find the girls. We hang out upstairs for a bit and then my friend and I leave the room, I notice in the dark hallway a cat, mostly because it did one of those, “you stepped on my tail” meows and ran off, even though we didn’t step on its tail. Friend doesn’t notice the cat and is asking me about it since I was the only one who saw it in the hallway. We are coming down the stairs as I am pointing towards it and then I swear it did a little kitty buck and stuck it’s head out at us through the railing! Friend and I were a little thrown off, stopping in our tracks. Then she turns and says, “Run!” and quickly went down the stairs covering her head. I’m cracking up so hard at the absurdity of the situation, but of course that cat still has it’s evil eye trained on me. Friend is trying to distract it with little noises so I can make a safe getaway, and it worked for a split second. She would make a noise, it would look at her, but I would take a step forward or even blink and the cat would look right back at me. Finally I ran for it, I’ve had a cat jump on my head before, not a pleasant experience. I wanted nothing more than to avoid that. I make it safely to the bottom of the stairs and we are laughing so hard, I’m crying I’m laughing so hard.

So Home-Owner, as I will call him, he is Soul Patch’s roommate and Soul Patch made sure to point out that his roommate was a Home Owner (which sounded to us at first like he called his roommate a Homo), so until I come up with something better I’ll calling him that…or HO, but I don’t think that’s nice. He sees us come into the room laughing so hard and tells us that we can’t be up to any good. So we go to sit by him and tell him about this ghetto cat at the top of the stairs, bucking at us through the railing. I don’t know if he found it as funny, I don’t know if I was paying any attention to his reaction. But then we start talking to him for a while. Then Friend leaves and another girl joins us.

I noticed SM2 in the kitchen area, talking with the telepathic mind reader…let’s call her ESPN (Mean Girls). I was going to go say ‘hi’ but since he was in conversation I didn’t want to leave the one I was having to interrupt another. So I kept talking with them, they are both dental students and I told them I took the easy road and I was a Sociology major. So then they asked if I had noticed anything that night. I pointed out a guy talking to a girl and said that he was probably interested in her with the way he was leaning towards her, also if I could see his pupils they would probably be dilated because he likes what he sees. I don’t know if I told them I was kidding, and that’s not what I learned to do with my major, but then I would have to explain what I did learn from my major, and frankly I’m not certain what that is. At one point Home-Owner notices SM2 and asks us if he reminds us of a 1980’s Ken doll…hmmm, wonder if he should now be called Ken?

Moxie and Duff come to tell me we’re leaving and I say goodbye to my two new friends, but then M&D start watching the Olympics, so I sit back down. Then we are leaving again so I get back up, say goodbye again. As I’m walking towards the door I want to make sure that SM2 sees my goodbye wave but he turns to his ESPN and says, “Excuse me,” and walked over and gave me a hug. I didn’t realize we knew each other well enough for hugs, but I take what I can get from Barbie’s boyfriend (reference to Ken doll in case you didn’t catch that, though how could you not?). We end up talking for a while, Moxie and Duff change their minds about leaving, I’m sure to give us a chance to talk (thanks guys). Turns out that SM2 is a compulsive liar, I like that. He liked my necklace and asked where I got it, but my boss got it for me. I turn it over and he reads the back but it’s some Patricia woman or something, pretty much giving us no clue to as where it came from. So I state the obvious and he says, “Yeah I’ve heard she’s good.” Then we started to jointly make up a story about Patricia, sister of the famous Tiffany (Tiffany store, Breakfast at Tiffany’s (song and movie), etc.) She’s got a store in New York and various other cities as well. It was fun.

Despite my good time I did keep trying to make eye contact with Moxie, I didn’t want them to sit around any longer than they had wanted. But I couldn’t get eye contact, well, I did once, at the beginning and I think she winked at me. Then this guy interjects into our conversation and becomes part of it, so I continue trying to make eye contact. I have to say though SM2 handled the new acquisition with poise, even though the guy was a little off his rocker. I was impressed. Finally I made eye contact with Moxie and we made our exit.

Saturday was fun, and I got to see Charmer, but I can’t give too much detail because Moxie and Duff were there, and they desperately want to know who Charmer is and I’m a brat so I can’t give them that satisfaction. Just know that I had a good time.

So this blog is a little long, my apologies. Word on the street is that long blogs are good, but I still feel bad for the long term commitment I am asking of you.

Sunday – Between Sacrament and Sunday school I was talking to Tyrant and SFHB about church stuff. The conversation got boring and I noticed that Home-Owner was sitting by himself just behind us. I scooted over slightly and then shook his hand and started to talk to him until Soul Patch came and took him away (and they returned not long after, probably because the class they thought they were going to doesn’t exist yet). After Sunday School SM2 came over to say ‘hello’ we talked until Kermit kicked us all out to go to our classes, which I needed to go to since I was conducting. SM2 has a good memory though, he asked me a question but then he took it back, answering it, and then he shared a story I told him in Utah. I’d forgotten I told him that story until he was retelling it. Kermit gave the announcement and we all dispersed.

After church we had a munch and mingle, of course we all munched and mingled with each other; Moxie, Duff, Packrat, SFHB and I. I made cookies for the event and B2 comes walking over near the beginning and asks loudly if I made out. Chill was standing near by and said, “You made out? With who?” and I shook my head. I turned to B2 and told him that he was the only guy I ever had or ever will make out with. His response: “Oh I was talking about the cookies.” I laughed and told him I was too. Which he knew, I think he was just trying to embarrass me. Then SFHB had walked off and when she came back she said, “Kermit wants to make out with you.” Oh really? She told me that he just told her and he also told her to come tell me. So I thought quickly what I should say and walked over. I came to stand by him and said, “I heard you want to make out with me?” Funny thing, it’s not like we were off in some corner, we had people around us and no one reacted. He said, “Word travels fast.” And I said especially when my roommate comes directly over to tell me. He nodded in agreement and then I said, “Well, anytime you want, let me know.” He said he’d have to call me and we could set up a time. Then he threw in that we should probably do it at his house since he’s home alone a lot. I told him that would be good, but also if we were going to make-out my roommates would leave the house or stay in their rooms. He said, “They don’t want to participate?” I said, “I know! I mean, it’s a perfectly innocent activity.” He just laughed.

The thing is I didn’t even make ‘out’; they were just normal oatmeal butterscotch cookies.

Chapter 161: I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!

Tonight I had made several tentative plans. I’m not going to lie, I overbooked. I had originally made tentative plans to attend a pool party on the other side of town. Not desiring to go so much, but not completely opposed to it. Tuesday the Musician told me about a band playing at the mall, completely free. I told her I would think about it, she asked me later in the week and I told her that if Moxie decided not to go to the pool party I would come. I told her it was a 90% chance. But 90% isn’t 100. So when I got home from work I didn’t feel like going. I told SFHB about this and her response was, “Well, I just bought Footloose so we could stay here and watch that.” I did not say, “I don’t want to go because I want to spend time with you.” I simply said I didn’t think I would go.

So Musician shows up and finds out that SFHB is going and then asks if I am going and I shake my head. So Musician gives me a little encouragement while SFHB tells me I’m going. I told her that telling me I’m going was more likely to make me stand by my choice of not going. SFHB says they won’t keep me back late and I tell them I already have plans to meet Petunia at 8 so I was going to be back by then. SFHB says, “Then I’ll drive and we’ll come back.” That’s when I knew I couldn’t go. I didn’t want her here when Petunia was here, I didn’t want her encroaching, it’s petty and immature, but SFHB is far too much in my business. Maybe if she had said, “Well, then you can drive separately.” Why is it not a choice to be by myself? It’s not like I’m antisocial, I go to more things than SFHB; I’m more social than her. So sue me that I didn’t want to go to something I hadn’t fully committed to.

As SFHB heads upstairs to get her shoes she tells (which from her it’s more of an order) me to get my shoes on. I sit my ground like I didn’t hear her. She comes down with shoes on and tells me again. I shake my head, “I’m not going.” Her response, “yes you are.” Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are? I tell her ‘no’ and she repeats herself, I say it more forcibly, but try to hold back the venom since Musician is standing right there. Musician gives up and leaves, SFHB tries to see if she can get me to attack. She doesn’t beg, she doesn’t plead, she’s not even asking in a subdued way, she’s telling me to come, like I’m her dog. With each syllable from her lips I’m cemented further into my decision. As she’s leaving she calls she says, “She is being a sauerkraut.” Because I’m guessing someone is calling me one from outside. Then she calls me a poo-poo or a doo-doo head, I’m not sure which. Some 5 year old’s insult from 1992 I’m sure. I almost called her a shit head, but then remembered that I don’t verbally cuss like that.

Not only that but she tells me today when I was home at lunchtime that her and packrat were talking about how Moxie and I had a conversation through the internet during the Mean Girls party. Then she says something like it made her mad but when she knew who we were talking about (Mrs. George), it was okay. What the? Who tells someone else that? “Yeah, you two were doing something that you had every right to do as a free citizen of this country, but it made me angry that you were doing it. But if you were talking about someone behind their back that’s fine.” Thanks for the permission to talk rudely about people without their knowledge; it really means a lot to me.

Chapter 160: I think I can, I think I can: Top 5 Best Dates

Now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for, the positive spin on my dating experiences thus far in my life. But before we go on I must warn you that they aren’t that great, and they aren’t that funny. Most of the pleasure just derives from the fact that good dating experiences have existed in my life. In fact they are so menial I’m debating whether or not to write about them. I know I really enjoyed them, but again, a lot of them are older so I’m fuzzy on details. I just think it’s easier to see why the 5 worst dates stand out, but not so much why the 5 best do. And I may be over looking the best date I’ve ever had, but since almost all of my good dates and bad dates share in common the fact that there is usually only one date, I’ve probably forgotten.
Okay, I’m going to stop delaying and just get on with it, just remember it won’t be as interesting.

#5 Sadie Thinks she Famous

One of my last dates of my college career was the Sadie Hawkins dance where I let my roommate set me up with a guy from her work. He was tall and I believe Russian, so he had that Russian attractiveness about him. He came over before the date and we all watched a movie and then I went to pick him up that night for the date (for those who have not experienced a dance of the Sadie Hawkins persuasion it is when a girl asks a guy, so even though we were set up by my roommate we treated it as though I asked him. We went to the grocery store I worked at (Err, had worked at, I forgot my last year I didn’t work there) and we got Craigo’s pizza and ate in the deli. Then we went to the dance, got our pictures taken and danced like crazy little heathens. Afterwards we went to get some ice-cream. While there my roommate’s date (who I had also just met that day) turned to me and said, “So, what ethnicity are you?” to which my date eagerly turns to me waiting for my answer. Err….I’m white, Caucasian. But it only enhanced my ever growing awareness that maybe people don’t think that about me (starting a couple weeks before when my roommate (who never met these boys so she wasn’t in on it) asked me if I marked the Caucasian box on things and when I said ‘yes’ she asked me ‘why?”). Add that to recently producing not so white babies with several celebrities on makemebabies.com. Anyway, I can’t remember why I had such a good time, I just know that I did, and I would have loved to go out with the guy a second time, but nothing came of it, I graduated and haven’t been to Rexburg since.

#4 I try to keep awake, I try to swim beneath but I can’t stop this narcolepsy


All of my good dates happen post-high school and my second college date was with a Southern Narcoleptic. A group of my friends and I decided to have a group date (why don’t we do those anymore?) and we all invited guys we wanted to go on a date with. So this was my very first time asking a guy out! Nerve racking! I called him up, explained that we were having a group date and asked him if he’d like to be my date (Thanks to John Bytheway, “What I Wish I Knew When I was Single”, for guidelines on the proper way to ask someone out). When he said ‘yes’ I almost threw up in my mouth, how exciting. So we plan the date, we even have a married couple helping us out; because for part of the date we were separated into boys and girls (I don’t know whose idea that was). I feel like we made videos, but that might be another date I went on where I can’t remember enough of the details to even know if it was a good or bad date. I do know that we played a game similar to the Newly Wed game, this is where our married friends came in handy. They split up and the girl asked us questions that we answered, her husband asked the guys questions and then we met back up and tried to answer what our date answered for the questions. It was actually a lot of fun, though I don’t know if it would work now. My date eerily picked what I answered for most of the question (not that he said the same, but that he knew what I said). In my immaturity I thought that meant something, in retrospect it just means I was a typical 19 year old who wasn’t a very deep individual and was apparently predictable and transparent. We started to play another game, and in the mist of it my date sneezed and threw himself on the ground. I originally thought he was being dramatic, since for me, all people have the capability to be as dramatic as I am. We all laughed but then he never got back up! We realized he was asleep. Luckily some of his roommates were there and they were able to explain that this happens all the time, so just let him be. He finally woke up and we had dessert and him and I got to talk and while it was a really fun date…nothing happened afterwards.

#3 When a Stranger Calls

The next date was fun, yet awkward. One evening I got a call from an unfamiliar number on my cell phone. I went against habit and answered it. I had no clue who the person on the other line was, but this guy seemed to know me. But then he started to say that we met on the bus, and being from Richmond I kept thinking of a city bus, which Rexburg doesn’t have any, so I was very confused as to how we met and how he got my number, especially because I never handed out my cell phone number to people. Finally he started to laugh and explained who he was. He was a missionary who had served in my home ward and was now obviously home from the mission and would be coming to Rexburg that weekend and got my number from my mom and asked if I wanted to go out. I said ‘yes’ of course!
He came to pick me up that night from my apartment and we walked out to his car. He said he was even going to be a gentleman and open my door for me, which he did, and once I was inside I leaned over to open his door for him, because I had seen on a movie once where this guy was watching for it, because if the girls does it then it means she likes you. Well, it was really funny in the movie because he threw his hands up in the air and yelled ‘yes!”…the funnier part was this guy did the same thing, so I asked him if he had seen that movie, and it turns out he did, though neither of us saw the whole thing and neither of us knew what movie it was. We went to his sister’s apartment and ate pizza with his sister, brother-in-law, and his mom. Then we went out to try and find something to do. It was winter so there was ice on the ground and across from his sister’s apartment there was the skating rink. He mentioned going skating, which I shot down (though probably should have tried) because I like for my feet to have direct contact with the ground. He told me that they would, just as he slipped on a patch of ice on the ground. He then agreed that maybe we shouldn’t go ice skating. We ended up driving around for a while enjoying the city views from various locations until we were finally able to meet up with one of his friends (this is why we didn’t want to do anything that took up too much time so we could go meet them). His friend and his wife met us at Dairy Queen (wait a second, that place has already made the blog before…pretty popular place in Idaho). All three of them had served their missions in VA, and then I was the native. Rather exciting. Anyway, he drove me home at the end of the night, gave me a hug which felt weird because I was having trouble not calling him Elder, and then the next time I saw him he was engaged.

I thought I was supposed to put a positive spin on this? Sorry, it’s like my childhood, I just can’t seem to do it.

#2 I’m really missing it in so many ways I anticipate us making out

Date number 2. I had a hard time decided between 1 and 2 should be 1 and which should 2. I wanted this to be number 1 but I know that it’s just because it was more recent than the other one. Have I lost you yet? Have you closed the blog because I just won’t get on with the story?

Fine then. For this date I think I asked the guy out, and I say I think because I’m not too sure how it all happened. I was bored at work one day (How unusual, I know) so I e-mailed him and told him I was thinking about making these cookies called “Out”. He’s known about the cookies because I had told him how my FHE brother in college had given me the recipe. Since I had never made the cookies before I just had a lot of fun talking about making ‘out’, so in this e-mail to him I told him that I was going to make ‘out’ this weekend since I had never done it before and I knew he’d want to make ‘out’ sometime. In my e-mail I was just bored and telling him my plans, but he wrote back and said he was in and asked if we wanted to throw in an activity and dinner and make it a date. Uh….Ok. But that left me wonder who just asked who out. I think he wins, but whatever. Even though we made plans for that Friday I wasn’t certain we were actually going to be going out until that night when he called me to tell me he was running late. He finally came and we got in the car and headed to the park to play Frisbee golf. On the way there I think he cut off an older couple who honked their horns and glared angrily at us as they past. Neither of us had seen the couple, so we could only imagine that had intended to take that way and didn’t feel we had left them enough room. I kept joking around that the couple flipped them off. Frisbee golf was fun, though I think I’m athletically inept, and then we went to dinner. I feel pretty certain that the old, angry couple was sitting next to us at the restaurant and it had taken them so long to get there because we had cut them off and forced them to take the long way. The waitress asked us when we were done if we wanted any dessert and we said ‘no’, as she was walking away my date said, “We’re gonna go make out.” He wasn’t lying, but I was still a little embarrassed since no one who could hear would have known we were talking about cookies.

After dinner we went to my house and we made ‘out’. It was so funny though and I wonder if he’s ever made cookies before. I read on the directions to whip or beat the ingredients together and he pulled out a rubber spatula…and he looked so proud of himself. But I started to laugh because the spatula was no match for cookie dough. He had me laughing most of the time we were in the kitchen for various baking blunders. He said he would tell people that I laughed at him while we were making ‘out’. Then we were going to stop balling up the dough and I was going to put the rest away in the fridge for some other time and so I went to wash my hands and then he said we should just finish them then. So I rolled my eyes and told him that I was going to tell people that he made me stop and wash my hands in the middle of making ‘out’. (If anyone would like the recipe for “Out” just let me know.)

#1 Slalom, baby.

First of all, I would like to thank all of the great, good, and average dates for competing for the top 5. While some of you didn’t make the list don’t be offended, you didn’t miss by much, had these five dates never happened, you would be in the second string. For those of you who are currently in my five, don’t let it go to your head, trust me on this one.
For number one I picked the one and only date where I was fully medicated. I played hockey in college, it was intramural and it was floor hockey (as stated earlier I like my feet to have direct contact with the ground). However, our last game of the season I broke my foot. I had already made tentative plans with a friend to go on a double date, but I had not called up my date yet. So after I hobbled up three flights of stairs with the assistance of some of the boys on my hockey team I lay on the couch with my foot propped up and the telephone in hand. I panicked that my foot was broken, but since I had never broken anything I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like. After my roommates reassured me that it wasn’t broken because their incessant poking of said foot would really hurt if it was, I shooed them out of the room and called my potential date for Friday night. I was nervous because he was a good friend, I mean, I liked him as more than a friend, but he didn’t know that. We talked on the phone for a bit, and I finally spit out what was going down that weekend. I explained nothing of my foot to him, afraid that he would use it as an out if he had to. If he wanted to say ‘no’ he was going to have to do without me being injured as an excuse. He said ‘yes’ (just to release the tension, I knew you were wondering if he would or not). The next morning I still couldn’t walk on my foot, so off to the student health center it was, then after discovering that my foot was in fact broken I was sent to a “real doctor” and he set my foot, causing for the first time, actual pain related to a broken foot. I kind of hated that man after that moment. He set me up in some kind of not-a-cast, gave me some crutches, and gave me a prescription for painkillers. I ran into my future date later that afternoon and he noticed the crutches and broken foot. But we were still on for Friday.
He drove of course, and I got to ride in his cop car (no long a cop car, just used to be one). We met up with my friend, waited and waited for the third girl to show up (she did way late in the date, she must have double booked) so I got to watch as my friend went on a date with two guys.
Maybe I should warn you real quick, some people get loopy on pain medication, I however am always loopy so the opposite effect took place. Sometimes I spaced out staring at the wall, sometimes I tear up.
We played skittle poker, which I’m guessing is like actual poker but the chips are skittles instead. Then we went to Taco Bell. I don’t eat much Taco Bell, in fact I think this was my first and last time. But my date insisted on paying for me even though I had asked him. We went back to my friend’s apartment to eat and then watch the classic, Ice Age.
My friend and her date had gotten a little warm so they decided to crack the window open, my date and I were sitting under the window. We were watching the movie and one of us turned to say something to the other and we realized we could see our breath! We were given a blanket and told to such it up since everyone else was warm. At the end of the movie I pretended to cry due to all the tenderness happening in the closing scenes. But then suddenly I really was crying! So I asked for a tissue and that’s when everyone realized I was just kidding anymore. But I quickly threw out that I was on pain medication. I don’t think they really believed it, but they pretended to while I was there. How did this one turn out? We became best friends for the remainder of my college years, but other than that, nothing.

So there you have it, you’ve now read the top 5 worst and the top 5 best. I know they weren’t much but it gave me something to do for a couple of days.

Chapter 159: Top 5 Dating Woes

I happen to have a lot of time on my hands at the moment and I’m sitting here thinking what a bummer it is that I don’t have anything interesting to write. I’m trying to think of past stories in my life that I could share with you, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. I’ll keep typing though, hoping something comes out, because like I said, I currently have a lot of time on my hands.

Aside from just getting the elevator eyes by one of the guys (who is actually really cute) that is here to fix some things around the office I have decided on something that might and I stress might be an interesting read for you. How about my top 5 worst dates and my top 5 best dates? Sound good? Okay, here we go down memory lane, so if details are foggy I’ll be making them up.

Before I begin I was to start first with a “Not a date” story. I went to visit my friend one year for spring break and she was dating this guy. Now the thing about people in relationships, they want to spread that joy and assume that everyone else would like a relationship to, no matter who it is with. So unbeknownst to me, she tried to set me up with this guy who reminded me of Hans Klopek from The Burbs. We went to eat dinner at my friend’s boyfriend’s sister’s house one night, we went to a dance, and we went to the park to have a picnic. This guy was apparently all about a brief relationship that couldn’t go anywhere, especially when he laid his head on my legs. Awkward! Sadly though, I can’t remember anything else about this story except for those small details…maybe I can dig up an old journal and remember my true feelings. Now, on with the show.


Top 5 worst dates
(Backwards like a David Letterman Top 10 list)

#5 You Got This?
I’ve written about this date recently, as recently as the date was almost a year ago now. It was my date with B1. This is the first date from my list I had made of people to go on a date with after Mr. Collins. Whoa…I just realized that of my top 5 worst dates Mr. Collins didn’t make it, which means I’ve had worse. Back to the story. B1 seemed promising at first, not because I was interested (in fact, I wasn’t, which is why I asked him) but because he seemed excited to go on a date with me, and he quickly took over the planning. However, the night of the date I felt like he was trying is hardest to give this date no outlet on the dating highway except to veer it off on Exit 83 – Buddyland. We met at our date destination, which he choose because it was close to his home (a good 25-30 minute drive from mine). When we got into the building to pay for our activity I paid for him (since I asked) but it wasn’t like he put up much of a fight, I don’t know why, but I had expected him to say, “No, I can’t let you pay for me! I’m the guy, let me pay.” It wasn’t expensive or anything, it was just the principle of it. So we had our ten to twenty minute activity and I felt certain it would end after that, thinking what a flop this date was, but at least I gave it a try. Afterwards though B1 redeemed himself slightly by extending the date to ice cream at the Dairy Queen 5 minutes down the road, however we drove separately since it was closer to his home (couldn’t even drive me back down the street at the end of the date). But he did pay for the ice cream and we talked until midnight, though he kept checking his damn cell phone, to which I finally asked if he needed to be somewhere. The date ended in a hug and no possibility of a future.

#4 Keep On Keeping On
This date was actually one of my only, if not only (not really sure if I’ve done this before) online dating experience. I’ve been on online dating websites before, making friends and all, but never actually going on a date with anyone. But I was in Idaho, and so was he, so we ended up going on a date. He came to pick me up at my apartment and we went to dinner at the glamorous Big Judd’s restaurant, known for its pounder burger and gut wrenching fries. The drive to and from I felt as though I was going to die because this guy had no fear of his monster truck rolling over on a sharp turn. (If you’ve ever been to Big Judd’s in Idaho you know it’s a curvy road, especially scary at night). The whole drive he talked about how he would take care of me…which is sweet and creepy at the same time, because he wasn’t talking about while we were driving, his eyes were focused on the future. We then went to the two dollar theater to see Pirates of the Caribbean…I think it was the second one at the time, but it turns out that you can’t buy your tickets that far in advance, so off to Wal-Mart it was. As we looked at the cheap movies, killing time before the movie he kept pointing out the movies that he absolutely loved. If you know me you know I judge potentials harshly based on their movie choices. Not that harshly, but if every movie they love is one that I can’t stand and look down upon then how can I respect the person? Movies become a big part of dating life, is an area you need to be compatible. When we got into his truck he whips out a TV in the dashboard! Way cool, but totally dangerous, turn it off. So on the way to the movie I get to watch 5-10 minutes of Joe Dirt on the TV he paid big bucks to have installed. Have I mentioned I have never watched all of Joe Dirt? I can’t bring myself to do it. This date also ended in a hug and no possibility of a second date.

#3 The French are glad to die for love
In high school I made a mistake of letting a friend set me up on a date. You’re still too young at eighteen years old to let friends set you up, especially because that friend is probably just trying to get with the guy’s friend and that’s why the two of you would be a good match. This date was in fact only my third date (once you read #1 and #2 on my list which were actually my 1st and 2nd dates you’ll understand why so few). But I let my friend set me up, foolishly believing the words, “You have to meet this guy I think you’ll hit it off.” Who knew your best friend was so good with bold faced lies? So I agree to go on this double date and I get picked up at my house like a child at a bus stop. I can’t remember the beginning of the date, or if we did anything besides going to see the movie Moulin Rouge (my friend’s choice). But my date didn’t say a word to me, not one word. Am I that disappointing? Am I that hideous to behold? Or do I project a snobby image, scaring guys from speaking to me?

Everything I learned from my date came from the lips of my friend, and everything he learned about me came from the hyperactive state of having to sit still too long in a movie that didn’t capture my heart. So unfortunately all he knew about me was that I thought the beginning of the movie was written by crack heads and then I pretended to tap my arm like I was about to do drugs. Oddly enough this was apparently enough for him to ask my friend if I could go on a second date with him. The things I had learned about him; obvious red neck, football player, loves his car that wasn’t that great, may or may not already have a drinking problem at 17 years old, and a fanatic about coming across as a tough guy who can still play football with a broken foot; were not enough to entice me for a second date, but I said I would go anyway. That date did not make either of my list, it wasn’t bad enough to compete with the worst, but it didn’t stand out enough to be remembered until just now. When he asked her for a third date I told her he would have to ask me, not have her do it. When he finally called I was preparing to move across the country, so…dangit, I couldn’t go.

#2 Chris Rock and Drew Barrymore would never be in a movie together
This date was supposed to be my second if we look at the order in which they were asked. It came after the question for the first date, from the same guy, but it was in preparation for the first date (you’ll understand when you get there). The date started off well enough, when he showed up to my house 20 minutes late…because he got lost. We went to the movie theater and I stared out the window as we passed open parking spot after open parking spot, but apparently, none were easy enough to pull into so instead we park across the parking lot, not just the theater parking lot, but the shopping center parking lot. We were over by a bank, and from the bank you couldn’t see the theater. So my legs got a work out and I was chilly on the walk back (since it was springtime). We get to the theater, buy our tickets, and go sit down. The movie we were going to see was Never Been Kissed. The theater darkens and the previews play, then the movie begins: Chris Rock standing on a stage doing a comedy routine. I lean over to my date and say, “I think we are in the wrong theater.”

Him: How do you know?
Me: *Pointing at the screen* I don’t think he’s in the movie we bought tickets for.
Him: You sure?
Me: *nods head and thinks to self, “Do you think Chris Rock is going to show up in a romantic comedy with Drew Barrymore?”*

So we get into the right theater and still have some times before the previews begin. He asked me how old I am and I tell him, 16 and I ask him how old he is and he says 19 and then he says, “Is that legal?” And I told him I thought it was fine as long as we didn’t do anything, and we wouldn’t be doing anything. The movie was good (to me at least) and then we left the theater, walking the mile back to the car and then getting lost trying to get out of the parking lot. Well, I didn’t get lost, I knew where I was at ever moment, even when the street names stopped being familiar, I kept in mind where we were in case at any moment this guy would listen to me and turn around. Which he finally did. We went and got something to eat and then came back to my house. He watched SNL with my mom in the family room and I hung out with my dad in the office. There wasn’t much conversation involved in this date if you haven’t already guess. Finally he left, but unfortunately we had already had plans for the second date…

#1 Wow that was just like Carrie, I thought she was going to kill us all.

Having already experienced the first date with this particular guy I wasn’t too thrilled for the second date. So here’s the history on the first date. I was sixteen years old, had just started working at my new job. One night after work this guy I barely know walks me to my car and says, “So my senior prom is coming up and my mom really wants me to go, do you want to go?” In my head I had prepared myself for when a guy finally asked me out, I would always give a guy a chance, I was altruistic and wanted to give every date the benefit of the doubt (that quickly changed). So I told him ‘yes’ despite the lame delivery of the question…my mom wants me to go, so would you go? Seriously. After I say ‘yes’ I ask when Prom is…should probably ask the when before committing. Turns out it was in a week and a half! Being sixteen and never having had to buy a prom dress before I didn’t understand in the moment what kind of torture I was locking myself into. But I had done it, with the help of my mom and my sister I had chosen a prom dress and sat ready on the evening of Prom, dreading the arrival of my date. I’m sure every mother beams when she finds out that her daughter hopes she was stood up for Prom. For a small window (about 15-20 minutes) I thought possibly that my dreams had come true. But alas, he showed up, we took pictures, and then off to his mom and dad’s for more pictures. His mom gave me a squeezing hug like we had just announced our engagement and then we got into the car…and…his parents got into their car. We pulled out of the driveway, and then they pulled out of the driveway. Then we followed them to the restaurant. For a moment I thought we’d be eating dinner with his parent’s before heading to the dance. But as it turns out he’s horrible with directions so his parent’s thought it was best to guide him there. During dinner I kept asking him questions about himself, and he responded with simple and lonely ‘yes’ and ‘no’s to most of the questions. Since he was a senior I asked him his plans for after graduation, his response, “I don’t know, maybe manager of the meat department.” Wow, how is someone supposed to act like that’s interesting? The ambition was almost too much for me as I picked at my food and tried to think of other questions I could ask.

When we got to the dance (not at my high school, but at the rival high school) I saw a few girls from church and some guys from work. Said ‘hello’ and then went into the gym with my date, who then introduced me to one person, and we sat down. Then we continued to sit, quietly, sitting quietly, together with his one friend he introduced me to. Finally I turn and ask his friend a question, after she answered her and her date got up to dance and my date and I continued to sit. Finally he asked if I wanted to dance, so we went on the dance floor and we stood there, preparing to dance. He laughed slightly, said he ‘couldn’t do this’ and we went back to sit down. I used my one get out of jail free card and went to the bathroom, where I ran into a few friends. Then I returned to my date and we went into the commons area where I found a girl I knew and her date who was pretty much dying from exhaustion (he worked at a bakery…early morning). So I sat talking with them and trying to include my date, though she didn’t have to baby-sit hers (mostly because he was sleeping with his eyes open). When we went to leave he said, “I know you weren’t trying to be rude.” What? By talking? By trying to salvage the evening? He then took me home because I had already previously lied and said that my dad was really strict and I had to be home by midnight. However, he welcomed himself into the house and hung out with my mom again while I begged my dad to tell him to leave so I could go get in my PJs. This date didn’t even end in a handshake; rather I stood behind the door as I told him ‘goodbye’. Several months later he walked me to my car and broke up with me…needless to say I think I took it pretty well, I mean, I was surprised, but he was right, we were both just too busy and never had time for each other. Is that another way to put that I was avoiding him? Sounds good.
What a way to start my dating career…is it any wonder why I hate dating now at 25 years old?

But now I've written too much, so I think you'll have to wait for the Top 5 good dating experiences.

Chapter 158: I've never achieved anything by holding back

How lame am I to write two blogs within hours of each other? But you see there are several factors playing into this. The first is that I thought I was done, but usually when I vent at work I find that I’m not done. Because venting is venting, it’s not an update on anything, it’s not expressing my opinions on things that matter beyond this limited scope of work. The other thing is that my boss has decided to take a PTO day, and with that I have taken a mental day. So while I’ll be sitting in this work station for 8 hours, I won’t necessarily be working the whole time. Finally, Tyrant wants to meet for lunch, and she does lunch late, which doesn’t matter since Boss Lady is out, but I have more time than usual to kill before my lunch hour.

With that, I continue. I got an e-mail (after my venting) from my sister giving me information about A&W, the missionary in my parent’s ward. I know, I know, missionaries are so young, but as one sister told another in this e-mail (three of us e-mail each other constantly every work day) I go for the young ones. The other night the missionaries randomly show up at my parent’s house, well, not randomly, as it turns out they made an appointment with my dad – but since he forgot it felt pretty random. They talked to us for a bit, shared a little lesson with us, and then we prayed to close it all out. Afterwards A&W asked me if I was headed back to school this fall. Sadly, no, thanks for reminding me that I have been expelled from the ageless vacuum of college life and am now spinning rapidly towards the black whole of the rest of my life. Then Beans says, “When did you graduate?” like it was such a ridiculous thing for A&W to think I was still in college. Uh…two years ago jerk face. Then dad thinks I graduated high school in 2000, “2001.” I correct because I need all the time I can get.
Anyway, so back to the e-mail from my sister, here’s what it said:

Yeah, so A&W said he asked you about school. He thinks you look younger than you are. He asked if you left the singles ward, cause he heard a lot of people were getting tired of it and leaving. I said guys aren’t asking girls out and they are frustrated. He didn’t understand what was wrong with them. He said you should come out to Utah, plenty of guys out there to date?!?!? He is a cutie Honey, and we all know you like them younger?!?!?!?

The thing I love about my sister’s e-mails is when she is excited or proud of what she has just written she follows up with this - ?!?!?!?! What the heck does that mean? Is she asking in surprise? Is she uncertain that what she said is true? Is it a separate sentence, a question of “can you believe it?” I always get conflicting statements with it tagged on so I guess I’ll never be able to tell. But just to cover the biggest thing in this e-mail, “He thinks you look younger than you are.” 25 is not that old….right? Anyway, flattered and blushing that they spoke about me behind my back (because believe it or not there are people out there like me who would love it if more people spoke behind their back…good or bad, let the rumors fly), before I could respond my other sister…the Older Sister (or O.S.) writes back, “Oohhhh, a missionary concerned about your dating life…interesting.” So I write back, that I do look younger than I am because I’m incredibly immature (as discussed with Moxie last night that maturity is really just when you grow to be more boring). I told her that he is cute and I do like them younger, and that I was flattered he asked about me. But then I threw in that I can’t move to Utah just to get a date, but if he wants to come back here and take me on a date I’m okay with that.

She writes back that she wishes I had come over for dinner Friday when she had the missionaries over. Then she tells me his schedule, like they are BFF or something. His last day is today, his family picks him up tomorrow and they are going to sight see for a week, visiting some of the wards he’s served in on Sunday and she tells me he might be back in September with some friends and if not then definitely next May. Then she informed me that she told him that I call him A&W and why! Wait…maybe I should say, “and why?!?!?!?!” Just to tease her even though she doesn’t read this. I write back sarcastically that she should just tell him I think he’s cute while she’s at it. She writes back, “He thought it was cute. And I could tell him if you want me to?!?!?!?!” I’m not even kidding about her overuse of the question mark and exclamation point. Half of me wanted to tell her to go ahead, if she sees him again tell him I think he’s cute. I mean, what do I have to lose anyway? Instead I wrote back that I didn’t want her to tell him, it’s why I tagged on the end of my last e-mail that I was being sarcastic.

Chapter 157: You People Suck

Why do these people bug me so much? It’s time for another work story.

My job today, and since we moved into this building, has been to collect people’s name plates and remove the Velcro on the back (with a scrapper and sometimes bleeding fingers) and then place drapery pins on the and put them on people’s cubicles. Simple enough right? I mean, minus the bloody fingers. So I am almost done with the ones people have turned in, but I have a list because I need to make sure that everyone has turned them in. As I’m going around I’m collecting nameplates that were not turned in, and believe me there are quite a few. I’ll spare you the curses and dirty words I say under my breath when I have to interact with these people. When people aren’t at their desk I just take their name plates, they will comply with HR whether they know it or not. Every day I’ve gotten something from someone. Before I even began this project this guy was telling me how they put Velcro on the workstations and then stuck their nameplates to them. His whole department did that and I knew that boss lady wouldn’t like that, but I had to tell her anyway. So she sent out an e-mail requesting all the name plates be turned in. So Velcro Man comes over and tells me that the Velcro works well and how we should have consulted him first. Consulted him? Why because you work for HR? Because you don’t, go back to your department and do what you’re paid to do, while I do what I’m paid to do…put up with annoying people and do tedious, menial jobs around the office. Don’t cross me! Then last week I was collecting some from downstairs and the guy tells me, “Well, they stick pretty good up there, can’t we just leave them up here.” I try to tell him that I know what he means, but we need to have them all uniform, and since I’ve already spent the past week with a razor blade taking off the Velcro and then carefully putting on the drapery pins and then even more carefully sticking these things into the workstations, no, you can’t just leave it where it is dam-it!

Then today doing the same thing, I’m almost done with the retched name plates and Dilbert is helping me. Not only did I have to talk to Velcro Man again, who went on about how the Velcro worked better and I wanted nothing more than to tell him where to shove it, but we see a nameplate up on the wall that we need to get. Dilbert is kind enough to take this one for me and tries to get it from the guy. He says, “I don’t want to.” All I can think is, “big baby.” I mean no wonder he’s single, this is the guy who threw a fit about the ice machine being removed from the building the week before we moved, I mean he didn’t just say, “That sucks,” he went on and on about how it was unacceptable. He complained to Boss Lady about it, like that was her biggest problem that week. Then he complained to the executive secretary and the receptionist. Finally someone went off on him about how immature he was being. Well, I wanted to do that today. So Dilbert says we need to get it and he says, “Didn’t the e-mail say it was optional?” and I told him I didn’t know about that but Boss Lady wants them all on the cubicles (and I have a deadline too but I didn’t mention that). He had been close to giving Dilbert the nameplate and said, “Well, if it says optional in the e-mail.” If he had been kidding and handed the nameplate to Dilbert we would have been fine, but he started to retract his nameplate! I wanted to roll my eyes at him! Well, that’s not all I wanted to do, but that was the kind, humane thing to do at that moment. But I didn’t, and I told him I would check the e-mail (but I took the nameplate). I’m just sick and tired of these 20, 30, 40, 50, sometimes 60-year old babies! Why do they have to make things so difficult!? Just give me your flipping name plate! Sometimes I wish I could say, “Give me your name plate or go ahead and pack up your cubicle.

Well, now I have to go e-mail all the morons who haven’t turned in their nameplates!

Chapter 156: Boys to do the dishes; boys to clean up my room; boys to do the laundry

Church was interesting today. Lots of boys, lots and lots of boys. Made me happy. To begin, I got to church late, but luckily for me hoards of teenagers were standing outside of the chapel looking in at their possible future, so I was able to slip in without having to open the door and get lots of looks. I quickly sat down on the back row between two chairs that had personal belongings on them so I felt certain that someone was sitting there, I looked over and saw my friend Short Stack and motioned to her asking if I could sit by her. She nodded and I got to sit with her, thus being only one person away from Charmer. That made me a little happy, but unfortunately I’m back to my moronic self so I barely said a word to him. Our knees touched though once, it was magical. (Obviously I’m not the kind of girl who actually thought it was magical, so please stop rolling your eyes and start laughing.)

I got to church just before they began to pass the sacrament. When that was finished and the guys got up to sit in their seats I noticed Chill! He’s back! I was so excited, it felt like it’s been so long, who knows how long it really has been I’m not sure. He went to the seat he had before a lot of people came and grabbed his stuff since people had taken his spot, then he looked a little lost. I almost scooted over for him but this cute, blond girl did it first and she was closer, so he sat with her. Then someone came to sit by me, found her friends, and got up to sit with them, happened to be the row Chill was barley fitting on, so for a moment it looked like he was to be seat-less again and I made a motion so he would know there was room next to me if he needed it, but then there ended up being enough space for him. After Sacrament we were talking and I told him how I cried buckets every night that he was gone. Then he told me that he wouldn’t be back for long, he’ll be here next week but after that he won’t and then after that he goes back to school. I told him I still have his Marvel book and that I took excellent care of it and made sure no harm came to it. I also told him how I bought two comic books, one of the essentials with all the story line, and then one of the Joker. He said I was totally a geek and I told him I’ve learned to embrace it. We talked about Batman then, we’ve both seen it and I told him how people got together Friday night to see it but I couldn’t stay to see such a late showing. He said he wants to watch the first one and then go see it again, but he said he’d have to go see it alone since everyone has already seen it. I wasn’t sure what he meant but I’m getting a little better at picking things up and I told him I’d go see it with him. Like a couple of months ago when he told me I should watch “Unbreakable” for research for my story I’m writing and he said that he’d even watch it with me. Like watching a movie is a chore or something for me. But I liked the idea of watching a movie with him, I’m not going to lie, I like this kid a little bit. But then he went away to do EFY and we never got to watch it. So, do I think we’re going to go see Batman? Not likely, but it was a nice thought for a while.

So while I’m talking to him, Intern comes up to us and interjects about our movie party last night, it was an all girls movie party and he was a little bitter, I told him he could come, but he'd have to wear pink and sing for us, oh and be our 'almost to gay to function' friend. So then Intern and Chill start talking about that. Suddenly Bachelor No Go comes up and starts setting up home teaching with me (keep in mind, I haven’t moved from my spot), then I see Soul Mate #2 walk by so I say ‘hi’ to him and he turns quickly and starts talking to me, but No Go is still talking and doesn’t realize that Soul Mate #2 is talking, but then SM2 realizes that No Go is talking so he does a little hand gesture and mouthed something like, “I’ll talk to you later.” So I smile and nod real quick and finish setting things up with No Go.

It was crazy, but it was pretty much the highlight of my day….why you ask? Because I didn’t have to move an inch and I talked to four attractive boys.

Chapter 155: It's like you're a drug. It's like you're a demon I can't face down

Sometimes I hate TDH, and yet, I love him. No joke, this afternoon I thought briefly of him, and thought about e-mailing him and then decided not to. Why did I decide not to? Because I feel like I’m the one who does most of the work. So I decided today that we probably won’t talk again, because I am a realist. I didn’t write, and I went on with life.

It’s funny because I’ve had moments like this before with TDH…I’ve had similar experiences with lots of other guys, when I’m getting over them they somehow reenter my life with a phone call, an e-mail, a text message. Lame, lame, lame. It’s as though before we parted ways they inserted a chip into my brain that would alert them when my memory was about to purge them.

Why do I say this? Because I got home from dinner tonight and got on my laptop to work on my story. I looked at my e-mail real quick and it said that TDH had sent me a message. Go figure. The day my mind sets for the purge is the day he realizes he has something to say to me. Is it ever, “I love you”? No! So do I want to hear it? No. He always says something work related, but semi funny in his little way, just enough to get me to bite the bait. But what does it mean? I’ll tell you what it means; in the end it doesn’t mean a damn thing. I can’t even enjoy the little flutter of my heart to think that no matter how stupid the reason for e-mailing me he thought of me.

It. Was. A stupid. Reason. Not stupid I guess, petty? Whatever. It was about the bagging contest coming up, which I didn’t even know about. He’s going to be a judge at my store for the contest and he was telling me I needed to sign up so he could tell me that I couldn’t win. I wrote him back and told him that I don’t do well with rejection so I wouldn’t sign up knowing he’d already deny me, and just skip crying myself to sleep at night. He’s like a freaking drug – I’ve gone through the withdrawal, I think I’ve gotten over it, and then I get a whiff, a little taste, and I’m right back.

Chapter 154: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? Take your foot off his head.

I don’t like when people try to treat me as though I am stupid. I don’t like when they throw out big words in an attempt to make me feel that I am stupid. I am going back and forth in an e-mail with an employee involving a reimbursement. I do not question the legitimacy of this request, I just follow procedure. So at first I felt like I was being friendly, explaining the information that I needed to process the request, and then I suddenly get this response,

“I’m confused about this. Is this for tax purposes? Boss Lady told me all I needed was proof that I paid the amount. Obviously, I have provided that (the receipt). That being said, I will get the bank information, but I’m pretty sure I can’t print out a virtual copy of the check, though I could be wrong.”

Tell me I’m reading this wrong. (P.S. I changed it to Boss Lady for secret identity purposes; he’s not cool enough to have written that in his original e-mail). I just don’t like certain points of this e-mail.

First: “Obviously, I have provided that (the receipt).” Well no shit Sherlock, but as previously stated in my last e-mail I need both documents to correlate. Please for the love; do not ever write “Obviously” in an e-mail, the only way it can be read is with a sarcastic or smart ass tone.

Second: “That being said.” What? Like an old biddy that has to make sure that her point comes across? “I’m going to cooperate but I’m not happy about it.” Or let me just jab an insult to your intelligence but now that it’s said, I’ll do what you asked.

Thirdly: “I’m pretty sure I can’t print out a virtual copy of the check, though I could be wrong.” That “I could be wrong” tacked on the end is read in a more condescending manner. If the rest of the e-mail hadn’t preceded it I would have not read this with the condescending tone attached to it. Oh and guess what? You can print off a virtual copy of the check.(unless of course he’s got the attitude because I am using the word ‘virtual’ incorrectly) I just got on my online banking to double check and what do you know? I can print off a damn virtual copy of any check I’ve written. Well, I could be wrong but I guess it just depends on the bank asshole. Dilbert read the e-mail and she said she felt like he said it more to save face, like he didn’t know you could do that but I did, so like the prick he is he had to try to make me feel like I didn’t know what I was talking about. You think because you have a law degree that you’re better than me? If I had the lack of personality and desire to conform my existence to strict laws with no leeway then I would have attempted law school jerk face. In fact it crossed my mind but then I remembered that I was interesting!

I felt like writing back that you don’t have to provide the information, but if you don’t you have to foot the bill. Instead I got advice from Boss Lady who told me to inform him that it was Accountings practice and we just do the paperwork. Then I apologized for the inconvenience and said “Thank you!” at the end, though I really wanted to tell him to shove it. I’m not really that upset, but I can say for certain that I really don’t like this guy right now. I hate having to work with lawyers.

Chapter 153: It's all about the wizard staffs

Last night I went to Institute. I tried to mentally prep myself for when B2 would
ask me to go out to eat afterwards, because another goal of mine has been to tell him ‘no’ one of these times. But then I was worried about saying ‘no’ because for some reason I was worried he’d be hurt. Not that it matters whether or not I actually hang out with him, but I had my reasons, and I can’t seem to put them into intelligible words so I’m not going to bother. It didn’t matter though, the moment institute ended two of my friends cornered me and one friend mentioned how hungry she was and she thought it would be great if we went out to eat. I asked her is she meant to invite me and she just nodded her head. I couldn’t say ‘no’ to them, they never hang out after institute. But then they asked me what was around there, so I had to tell them that B2 always decided where to go. So they talked to him for a bit while I went to talk to other people. I told Kermie that I met his new roommate (SM2 will be living with him) so we talked for a while. Then I found my friends and talked to them for a bit. But then I had to go to the bathroom, and when I came back my two friends who started this whole adventure of going out to eat afterwards were gone, they had headed over to the restaurant. So I find B2 and ask if I can follow him because I don’t know my way around downtown. He tells me that he’s going to get into his car, but not leave yet, just get people to hurry up and get in their cars and follow. I ask him if he’d like me to follow in my car and do the same to further hurry people up. So I get in mine and pull up behind him. Then The Sociologist (so named because he is a people watcher, and I thought I liked to watch people) starts coming towards my car. I’ve figure out at this point that he’s decided (not asked) that he’s going to ride with me. I locked the door and mock scream. He just laughs, so I unlock the door. He hops in the front seat and says, “I want to take a video of you.” Uh….okay. I say, “of me screaming?” he laughs. “Just a video.” So he precedes to pull out his camera and starts taking a video. I hate being video taped. But he finally starts asking me questions, interviewing me. Asking me where my nickname comes from, how it originated. Finally the video stops. Then B2 asks me to call the friend…the Musician (for now) and see if they are at the restaurant. She says her and The Actuary (- because that’s the best my brain can do right now, plus if you notice I’m whipping out nicknames tonight, so I’m drained. She’s always correcting people, one of her favorite words is, “Actually”) are already there. Then she asks me to check up on her sister, to see if she is still there (apparently she just left her sister…) I tell her she is and ask if she wants me to give her a ride. So I pick up another passenger, with her comes my new…what does Moxie call them…Charmer. Yes, folks, I have a new charmer, who is actually an old charmer and I’m pretty sure it’s just his pretty face who reminds me of someone I know. So, I guess I’ll just call him Charmer. I had to quickly clean out my backseat. At first I thought it was just for one, so I pushed everything to the side, Sociologist hops out of the car and tries to help me and he finds the big stick I picked up from church three weeks ago and says, “What’s this your wizard staff?” and I laugh and say, “Yup, I play Dungeons and Dragons every Friday night.” “really?” he asks, “No,” I shake my head. His response, “Cause that would be really cool if you did.” So I told him that I used to date a guy who played every weekend…date as in, I went on a few dates with him…you guys remember D&D right? So then Charmer starts to go for the other side and I asked him if I was giving him a ride too, he said he guessed so, since Musician was his ride home. So I run to the other side and completely clean up my car (good a time as any) and he gets in, noticing the stick as well, I tell him Sociologist says it’s my wizard staff. He laughs and says that’s ‘awesome’ – what is it with these boys?
So we go to the restaurant and there are so many of us that they split us up. We’re near each other, but not quite. The only boy of the four that came with us that sat near me was Sociologist, the other three sat at a both with two other girls. The rest of my table was girls. Not that I mind, but I’m a single girl and well, Charmer was at the other table. So B2 comes over to hang out at our table for a bit, so I jump up and take his spot, which so happened to be sitting next to Charmer. I get to talk to that group for about 5 minutes and then B2 wants his spot back because the waiter has brought the water…lame.
So I go back to my group, take a bunch of pictures, some videos with Sociologist, I think but am not certain that I may have met Eeyore’s stalker, but I can’t be certain at this point. Then while we are waiting for our food B2 came over again. I sat there for a while, took a video (sociologist really likes to take videos and he asked me to take one of him and B2). But when I finished with that I decided to go back to Charmer’s table. I started conversation where it had been, which turned out to be a hit with those people. I guess I’m funny or something, I just wanted to finish what I was going to say before B2 so rudely interrupted me. This time I got to stay longer, and the best part was, I wasn’t being socially awkward and I barely knew anyone at this table. One small step for goals over all, one giant leap for goal #1.
I just lost my train of thought, that and I want to go read another chapter in Breaking Dawn, so I’m going to end this one like this. Sorry.