Chapter 118: Beating the Dead Horse

Right now I am watching The Village. I love this movie, not because it’s some masterpiece of art, but I love the love story. It makes me think that maybe I’m in love with the idea of being in love. I want a Lucius Hunt. I want to feel so certain that a guy likes me that I can by like Ivy Walker and just tell him how it is. But the truth of it is, I don’t know if I’ll ever be sure about the way someone feels about me. People are so afraid to put themselves on the line, I’m one of the worst of course, that sometimes I wonder at how anyone ever gets together.
Yesterday at church they cancelled the last two hours so that we could devote it to talking about dating. Mostly, why we thought no one dates. I feel sometimes that talking about dating is like a broken record, it skips and repeats and is obviously not working the way it is supposed to, and yet we keep trying to see if we can fix it, but it just might be something that we can’t fix.
They divided the girls and the boys into two separate rooms and I hate to admit but I sat in the back and I gave minimal participation. I spoke here or there, but mostly I spent two hours ignoring the things I already knew would be said. So I’m afraid I can’t be much of a source for what happened. All I really know is that after the meetings the boys and the girls wouldn’t look at each other for a while, like when we were in middle school and had to separate for sex education.
I stayed after and talked to B2, he asked me what we talked about and I tried to tell him, but then realized how little I had paid attention. What would be made up and what would have actually happened?
I want to date, I’m tired of waiting, I’d like some answers. But the honest truth is that not dating is like cancer, there’s never just one cause, and a cure for either is highly unlikely at this point in time, there may be advances, but no cure in my lifetime. For all I know people don’t date because of the fumes from microwave popcorn. The best you can do is hope that all the different carcinogens don’t gang up on you and leave you perpetually single.