Chapter 120: Marvel Universe

Last night I had a chance to hang out with B2 and some other people from our Institute class. Since its summer and the two classes merged for the semester the Dog Whisperer is now attending our class. I have no problems with the Dog Whisperer except that he’s one of those people where when he’s talking I want to close my eyes and pretend I’m asleep. This method works well at home, sitting around the dinner table when my sister-in-law or Thorn is talking, but I’m afraid it doesn’t work so well in a public place. I think I blend at home, but anywhere else it just might be seen for what it is.
Four boys and I (yes, I was the only girl, totally reminded me of high school) went to River City Diner, which I was excited about because not only do they have excellent fries, but they have Norman Bates. I hope Ducky will remember our waiter from the last time we went there. He’s absolutely charming and her and I couldn’t help but see some similarities between our waiter and Norman Bates…before he became psychotic. When we got out of our cars I mentioned how excited I was because of Norman Bates, and I called him that so of course anyone familiar with Psycho, which was all of them, looked at me funny and I just said, “He’s so charming,” like I would have said “These mashed potatoes are so creamy.” When we got closer to the door I saw him! Norman Bates! So I leaned into B2 and said, “He’s here, I’m so excited!” He’s my favorite waiter in the whole city. So we sit upstairs in a booth and the cook comes upstairs to tell us that he’s cleaned up most everything in the kitchen, but the deep fryer is going, so be easy on him. I suppose I can understand, I mean I used to work in a deli and we would clean up as much as we could, especially on slow nights. So we looked at the menu and tried to choose from our limited selections. The Dog Whisperer tried to order a burger and a milkshake and he was informed that neither were available. So four of us just got the chicken fingers, but didn’t get the fries, not on purpose, when we ordered chicken fingers we meant with fries and he thought without.
The entire time we were there it was always a conversation competition with the Dog Whisperer and someone else. He talks nonstop! Marvel this and Marvel that, then he threw in Transformers (reminding me of Ducky and the head banging) and went back to Marvel universe. Everything related back to comics in one way or another. I drank two glasses of water just because when I was drinking I was looking down at the glass. It was the closest I could get to pretending I was sleeping.
The new kid to the group asked Norman Bates if they had honey and he pointed over by me because I was sitting next to it, so I said, “I can take care of that for you.” And gave him a packet. Then the Dog Whisperer asked, “Could I have some honey.” And I started to giggle to myself because it was like he was calling me honey. B2 caught on and laughed a little and then the rest of the table followed. Then the Dog Whisperer said that honey was terrific or something like that and B2 said, “yeah we all think so.” Which got everyone laughing again because my new name was honey, I laughed and looked at the ceiling and said, “I love hanging out with all guys.” And I meant it, they are so funny. But then Dog Whisperer said, “Honey is fascinating” about to go into a diatribe about the medicinal purposes of honey, and I threw my hair behind my shoulder and said, “I know,” and everyone kind of smiled and I said, “Oh, are we not talking about me anymore?” acting like I didn’t know. It was pretty fun.
No one at the table would really make eye contact with the Dog Whisperer, and I had on a few occasions so every time he was talking he would look at me, when my head was down drinking water or slowly eating my chicken I could feel his voice projected towards me, I would look up and sure enough it was like he’d given up on the guys. B2 was sitting across from me so I looked over at him and gave him a, “this is awkward” smile. The only time I was able to not have The Dog Whisperer’s conversation directed at me was when he asked if anyone was a fan of Star Wars. I said I had seen the original three films a long time ago, so I liked them, but wouldn’t say I was a fan (not like with Indiana Jones, he’s so handsome!) The others in the group kind of said the same thing…except for B2. He made the mistake of saying he was a fan. So I returned a favor to B2 that I’ve been meaning to return for about 2 weeks. I abandoned him in an uncomfortable situation and began to talk to the two other boys with us. I always get my revenge. (Oh I don’t think I ever wrote about that in here, well, there’s this new guy at church who makes all the girls uncomfortable and two weeks ago B2 and I had been talking and this guy walks up, puts his arm around me and tells B2 he’s in love with me. Not much later B2 gets up and walks over to talk to someone else, leaving me all alone with this guy. Luckily new best friend, Kermit comes over and saved me from it. Thanks a lot B2, you’re so chivalrous).
Then we were done and paid for so we got up to leave. Once outside B2 came up to walk beside me and said, “It was like I was watching an awkward date between you and the Dog Whisperer.” I asked him if he enjoyed the show.
It was interesting; everything The Dog Whisperer saw reminded him of either comics or dogs. A truck passed us on the way to the cars and he said, “You know the poster that truck had? It reminds me of this dog at the shelter,” and told us what they named the dog, Bahama Mama, so I said for short they could call the dog ‘Bah’ and then B2 said, “or Mama”. So I conceded that “mama” was the better nickname and he kept saying, “Or Bah,” and I told him it wasn’t going to make me feel better.
Then the evening ended, I went home and almost died because of a huge, light caramel colored spider that was the size of a nickel, if not a quarter and ran super fast. I thought I killed him, but I couldn’t’ find his body this morning, so who knows if he will be returning, it’s like N.T.R. our cockroach that lives in the fireplace. Thought he was gone, but as the cartoon (can’t remember which one because I was a lot younger when I saw it) with the dancing, diva, cockroaches whose last words to the song were, “roaches never die.” If anyone remembers seeing that cartoon please let me know, I’m dying to know where it came from since it just came to mind.