If you're going my way, I wanna drive it all night long.

Yesterday I was driving back from North Carolina and met the man of my dreams (this is an obvious exaggeration considering that first, I didn’t actually meet the guy, and secondly, I only knew two or three things about him so how can I be sure?) Now that I’ve made sure you understand that this account is real and yet elaborated I can continue.

It all started when I exited 264 West and merged on to I-95 North. I was passing cars and making good time because I always like to beat the approximate map quest time. I passed by a Mercedes only to be cut off by another one, which bothered me because I’m not going to lie, I have road rage. So I talked to the butt of the Mercedes, telling it how I could pass it if it would just move to the right lane rather than stay in the left (I would have passed on the right but there were other cars a little ways up blocking my passing opportunity). Finally, the Mercedes moved to the right lane and I passed as promised. A few minutes later I see the Mercedes coming up pretty quickly in my rear view mirror. I was cruising at about 90 MPH in the right lane at this point so I let Mercedes pass. But I knew a good opportunity when I saw one so I pulled in behind Mercedes and traveled like this for a good while.

I used to always do this on my drive from Utah to Idaho (or vice versa), I would pick out a car that would help make the trip go by faster, by either always trying to pass, or by driving behind them if they were fast enough. They became my little nameless, faceless friends. It’s strange, I know, but it really did help me on the long drive. So I started to talk to the butt of the Mercedes again, this time saying that it had proved itself worthy and if it lead I would follow. Which I did.

At one point though it fell behind and I passed by, only to have the Mercedes pass back by me a few minutes later. I was curious if my new friend was a boy or girl, only for the reason of being curious. I figured it was a guy the way that it rode on the bumpers of cars that got in its way (thus the reason I let it lead, I’m not like that). So, for the first time in highway buddy history, I tried to sneak a peek at my asphalt companion…and got caught. Yup, the Mercedes driver must have also come down with a bout of curiosity and tried to sneak a peek as well. So there we were, speeding down the interstate, our eyes locked. And not even a split second later (though it felt like longer) he was driving in front of me again. So the three things I know about him, he’s cute, he drives Mercedes and he’s got a lead foot that’s slightly worse than mine.

Sadly, all good things must come to an end, but I was able to lead the way out of a sluggish left lane to clearer asphalt right before my exit, and then I had to say 'goodbye' to the only man not frightened by the way I drive. Adieu good looking lead foot man.