Let's begin with SM2. I don't know how I feel about him anymore. It’s just weird, we never really talk so how am I supposed to get a real opinion about him anyway? Any inkling of liking him is probably all in my head anyway. How can I like someone I never talk to?? And it’s as though the one time we had good conversation we used up everything to talk about. Lately when I see him, we talk super quick and then he just walks off. I can’t figure it out. The other night we had a ward activity. When he was at the cookie table I talked to him for less than 30 seconds, then he walked away, no “see ya,” or “I’m going over here,” just a silent exit. Then Sunday at church I ran into him in the hallway and he says, “Honey,” (insert real name here) like the Fonz or something, and I walk over to him and try to pick up conversation and again we talk briefly and there he goes again. I know he’s capable of conversation I’ve had one with him before and I’ve seen him have plenty of lengthy conversations with Spunky. I just can’t figure it out. So pardon me if I feel the need to abandon this ship.
Speaking of abandoning ships, A&W is a waste of time. Last time I wrote him was September 3rd and here we sit at September 10th. Just seems an awfully long time to not write someone back. Granted, I don't think I asked any questions in the last one, but whatever. I can't single handily carry this conversation forward. It's just too much effort for me.
Not to mention the fact that last night I had a dream where he turned out to be a serial killer. We were trying to find the evidence in his apartment while he was away and then he came back and I remember being mad at this guy (don't know who he was) for not being a look-out so we would know when he was coming. I was super scared. The funny thing is, this isn't the first dream where I am being chased by a serial killer, though the last dream wasn't A&W and I can't remember who it was, but it was creepy...and now I kind of wonder...hmm.
I haven't even talked to Charmer since I last wrote about him...so that's probably done with as well. Not that I talked to him a whole lot before.
...The End.
In the meantime I have decided that I should set up some rules for if I ever enter the online dating realm. Not a big possibility of it happening right now, though I am looking for some material, cause I don't know if you noticed, but I at least don't feel like I haven't written in a while (6 or so days...pandemonium). I'm not interested in actually going out with these people but maybe in the course of writing this blog the reasons why will slip out.
It all started with that random guy e-mailing me. You remember? He saw me on most eligible singles and I had no idea what he was talking about? So in my quest to figure out where he would have found me I found that I was signed up for Speed Dating on Facebook. I don't know when I signed up for that, but I remember someone I know sending me an invite and I accepted to check it out (I thought it was speed dating among your friends not amongst all of Facebook). On Facebook you can't just check something out, you have to "add the application" first. I guess I forgot about it, well, I think I just didn't care. I can recall getting e-mails from time to time about a "private note" but never looking to see what it was. So yesterday I got one of those e-mails and clicked on the link. It was a "you should meet this person" kind of note. Then it said that I had 60-some messages on this application. I started by deleting the "you should meet" notes and then looked on to the rest. DHL man actually had e-mailed me there so I figure that's how he found me...except that this program doesn't say your name on there so we may have had some serious stalking going on. Creepy!
Again, I'm not online dating, don't worry, but what you are about to hear/read is material that I thought would be good for me to write and store somewhere in case one day I do find myself desperate enough to join the online dating realm for reals. Also, if you ever consider going online to find yourself a date (hey it works for some people) then maybe these simple online dating guidelines can be helpful to you as well. Really, I think the boys should read so that they might have a fighting chance in getting a response back...but in the end, remember this is really just my own list.
Online Dating Rules: For Honey
*If you are leaning against or sitting on your nice car in your profile picture don't contact me.
*If you are wearing a wife beater in your profile picture don't contact me.
*Let me throw in that if you are wearing a gold necklace....don't contact me.
*If you haven't showered in three days (and it's on purpose) don't contact me.
*If you're going to come up with something witty, make sure it actually makes sense before you say it. Witty is good...misplaced witty is probably the worst thing you could do. It may work for other girls - but not me.
*Don't refer to yourself as Prince Charming or Mr. Right in your screen name or description of yourself. It's really rather unattractive and unoriginal.
*Don't describe yourself as a hopeless romantic or a sensitive and caring guy who just wants a girlfriend to lavish gifts on...again this may work on some girls, but not me. I'm not looking for sensitive, I'm looking for someone who can hold their own, give the attitude back, and I'm certainly not looking for someone to make me feel incredibly uncomfortable by fawning over me.
*If you're old enough to be my dad - don't contact me, let's narrow this to a 7 year gap, because I will not be dating someone older than my oldest sister.
*Don't write me and say, "I hope this doesn't sound dirty but I would totally partake of your cake." All you have achieved is helping me avoid baked goods while on a diet and made yourself sound like a perverted Dr. Seuss. Neither are attractive characteristics to me and you've just ruined two childhood favorites. Thanks a lot jerk. I won't even go into the fact that by prefacing it with "I hope this doesn't sound dirty" gave it no other way to sound.
*Don't talk about your feelings, how you follow them, and how other people should follow theirs. It's stupid and any grounded person knows their head has to play just as much a part of their lives as their heart does. I'd like to think I'm grounded. However, if your picture is cute enough I may follow my feelings for a bit and respond back. (never said I wasn't shallow).
*If you think the only thing I care about is what your six pack looks like and therefore all your pictures are from the neck to the waist- don't contact me.
*I am 97% more likely to respond back if your profile picture is goofy.
That's all I have for you...and that's just from going through and deleting many of these notes that I received in who knows how long. Just so you know, most of the "notes" are what they call "winks" and they says this, "Wink ;)". To me the wink should not be used by the guy, the actual winking smiley face made from punctuation marks sissyfies them. Especially the ones wearing the wife beaters and gold necklaces.
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