Chapter 132: Bakers and One-Uppers

So I posted the last chapter on Facebook and on my regular blog and I’m surprised at the response! First off, I’m surprised that people actually understand what I am saying because at times I feel like I’m not making any sense, okay, most times I feel like I’m not making any sense. Turns out that B2 read the note; he left a little smart remark about me not dating red heads because I don’t eat chocolate. How insensitive of him to say such a thing when he knows my BFF Ducky is a red head and takes her hair color personally.
Then last night there was a baptism at church and afterwards B2 came up to me and asked if I had been on Facebook yet that day. I nodded and he said, “like, this evening at some point?” and I nodded, I had already read his comment. Then he asked if I read his comment and I said, “Which one?” but then I remembered the other thing had been a message, not a comment. So then he said it was the one on the note I posted about baking and dating. I told him I read it and thought it was pretty clever. So then I asked him what he thought of the note, because I know what the girls think, I think the cakes are going to appreciate the note more than the bakers. So he told me that I put a lot of pressure on the guys, and I said, “Yeah, I know, that’s what I do.” Like I’m going to turn on the girls, now I’ve given the girls grief before with my “D-A-M Feminist Movement” post forever and a day ago, and that’s because the feminist inside every girl needed to hear it, but as far as who is responsible for the delicate details of baking, that’s all up to the boys.
He was beginning to say something else and we got interrupted, and I was bummed, because secretly I like to hear people’s thoughts and opinions on the things that I write. Which is why I always get bummed when people don’t leave comments (hint, hint). And it’s not like I can just say later, “So let’s keep talking about my note I posted.” I mean I could, if I were Ducky I could have easily done it. But then B2 tells whoever has interrupted us that I don’t date red heads, and then I defended myself by saying that was only B2’s assumption, and he said, it’s only half assumption and I said, “which half is the assumption?” and he started to say something but the first words out of his mouth were, “you don’t date,” and he tried to finish but I interrupted and said, “the part that’s not the assumption is that I don’t date?” Gee, thanks.
Then a missionary came into the room and was trying to drain the font and B2 mentioned how we should go for a swim, or better yet, that we should push the missionary in so he could go for a swim. When the missionary finally noticed us in the back of the room he said, “anyone want to go for a swim?” and we told him we had just been talking about that, and then B2 told him that I was just saying how we should push him in. Lies, all lies.
After the baptism Moxie and Duff talked me into going to a party down the street, a party I wasn’t invited to so I felt very strange going. I told Moxie and Duff it was as though they were bringing the school nerd to the popular party and they said it would be like She’s All That, so from then on I waited for some jerk to pour a drink down my shirt. Never happened though, and I knew most of the people so I didn’t feel as strange. But despite knowing most of the people I pretty much just hung out with the same ones.
We discovered Monday night that Fiancé is a conversation one-upper. I began to tell a story about how we had someone pass out at work and before I could tell the interesting details of the event Fiancé says, “You had someone pass out at work? Not to one up you but someone started having seizures at my work today” (or something like that). So yesterday I kept giving him a hard time about being a one-upper. He said that he was really sorry about it and I told him it was okay, I had already forgotten, which he knew was a lie. So then last night it was just him and me on the couch for a while so I kept talking to him because if we sit there quietly it looks like we are ticked off. He kept giving one word responses and I said, “Am I annoying you? Because you give me one word responses.” He shook his head and said, “I’m just not good at carrying on conversations,” and I said, “Yeah I noticed, you’re worse than my first date.” Which, was kind of true, except I like Fiancé a whole lot better than the first boy I went out with. Then I told him that he didn’t have a problem one-upping me in conversation. He apologized again. So he told me to say something to see if he could one up me. So I said, “My dog got hit by a car” (not true by the way, none of my dogs have ever been hit by a car). Then he says, “My little brother was hit by one.” I started laughing not because it’s true but because I knew that happened and I should have seen it coming. How many people could really one-up a dog being hit by a car with a family member being hit by one? Don’t worry his little brother is fine now. However, I got him with my second degree burns on my feet. I knew that would come in handy one day.