Chapter 133: Tell like it is.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go up to Michigan. I’ve written previously that my aunt is sick and that the doctor gave her 6 months to a year. How strange how a doctor who doesn’t really seem to know what he is doing can give you an expiration date. When we got there she was in the hospital, she had more tests done because apparently they can give you a timeline before they can actually tell you what is wrong. We were there with her sons, my cousins, who are hilarious so conversation was light and easy despite the dismal surroundings. I’ll tell you what; hospitals do nothing for the hope factor.
Saturday my aunt was out of the hospital and all the family was gathering at her house for a big to do. I’d like to refer to it as a family reunion, because despite the fact that we were the only out of towners in the family a lot of them haven’t seen each other in a while. It was interesting, mostly because I had no clue who they were. It’s strange to be surrounded by complete strangers but know that they are all family. Most of my time was spent figuring out who everyone was. It’s a culture shock too; in Michigan people “connect” in high school (one of my cousins “connected” with his girlfriend in summer school) not really sure what that means beyond the fact that they started dating, but my aunt made it a point to say that they ‘connected’ and I could hear the sarcasm oozing from her voice, she obviously thinks it’s stupid. Connected people will probably end up parents by the time they graduate, as most of my cousins have. I have a younger cousin, 19, who was pregnant when she graduated. It seems to be the norm up there, no one says anything about it. My other cousin, who is no older than 21 (actually these are both second cousins, so their kids are my third cousins) was in school for nursing and is just getting back after having a baby with her boyfriend. My older cousin who already has a daughter is pregnant again, but they haven’t explained that to her because she will be giving up the baby. It was strange and slightly appalling to see how she was. She seems in no way connected with the baby, hasn’t stopped smoking; she’s two weeks away from her due date and was mowing the grass and riding around on a go-cart.
Two of my older male cousins still live at home (they are well into their 30’s, past the midway mark). One of them is the older brother of the pregnant one I just spoke of. My sister and I can’t figure out why he’s single, except for the fact that he’s been in a long distance relationship with a woman in Tennessee for the past decade, who he rarely goes down to see and neither of them are willing to leave where they live. The other one works for a paint company inventing things. He invented paint that can roll on like a white board (you know, like they already have paint that paints on like a chalk board). He’s very well off, but most of that is probably because he’s never really had to spend his money, he’s always lived at home and he doesn’t date so what else is he going to spend it on other than cars? It’s just strange to me, why would you want to run the risk of ending up completely alone?
Sorry, didn’t mean to go off on that tangent. I did have a really good time, it was good for my dad to be with his siblings, especially with his older sister (the sick one). I got to know my aunts better and found that one of them and I have a lot in common. Oh, my favorite part about Saturday, my dad tracked down the missionaries in that area and they came to help him give her a blessing, then as is with my family, they were invited to stay and eat with us. So they hung out and helped us set up tents and tables and chairs. Then the food was finally ready so we all got something to eat. These missionaries stayed separate as much as possible for some reason, I don’t know if all missionaries are like that and this is the first time I noticed, but one would be up the hill at a picnic table and the other would be sitting next to my grandpa in a tent by the pond. Then when we were eating one was at one picnic table and the other sitting at the next one. So I sat down with the one who didn’t have anyone sitting with him. His last name is Mills and apparently we have a lot of Mills in the family. So my aunt points out to the other his last name and she finishes chewing and says, “Who’s your grandpa?” Now, Mills is a bit more common than some of the names in our family tree so I start laughing, besides the fact that this guy is from Arizona. So he is a little thrown off and can’t answer right away and my aunt asks him where his people originate from and he’s trying to think and finally he says, “I was born and raised in Arizona,” and my dad tells my aunt that they probably aren’t related and she yells at him, “Don’t burst my bubble he could be my family.”
A couple of things I have discovered – while I knew my sweet tooth came from my dad’s side I never realized how much of it did, and why I always crave sweets, so far I have it traced back to my grandma who would always make super sweet convections and feed them to her children, who developed a taste for super sweet things and passed it on to their kids. The dessert table at this thing was almost as big as the food table. Don’t even get me started on how much food there was! And people kept bringing it! The worst part though was that we were there for about 11 hours and I think we ate the whole time! Small breaks here and there but I don’t know how many “meals” I had. Time to get back to eating normally and losing weight.
So we left yesterday around 1 pm. We meant to leave my noon, but considering we were at my aunt’s house saying ‘goodbye’ none of us complained that we stayed a little longer. The part that bugged me was when we hit Pennsylvania and got about 30 miles down in an hour and half. As we drove towards home we drove towards a huge storm cell, pretty exciting, I think the lightening blinded me at least three times! We got back to my parents, unpacked our stuff from the car and I headed home right away, getting me to the house pretty close to midnight. SL-HB was parked by my door so I pulled in as close as I could, ran my stuff in (it was raining) and then moved my car to the street. Then I ran back for the garbage because I think that’s going to be my weekly chore, I don’t mind, it gives me a sense of purpose.
I come into my room and SL-HB is in the bathroom brushing her teeth, so she comes in to complain about her day. All valid, all very valid complaints, but you have to remember that I had been on the road for 11 hours, I was exhausted and cold and wet. So she’s telling me how Tyrant (named so because that’s what she is) showed up to church yesterday when she had said that she wouldn’t be there, none of us were going to be there except for SL-HB and Tyrant told her that she had to teach the lesson on Sunday. So Tyrant shows up and doesn’t say anything to SL-HB about the fact that she did show up. The other girl showed up too but she apologized for having said that she wasn’t going to show up, something came up so she didn’t leave town. So SL-HB went on about her other complaints (they aren’t my complaints so why write them down here?). Then she says, “I don’t think I’ll be at church for the next two weeks. My ears perk up and I say, “Why because of Tyrant?” and yes, I may have had attitude in my voice, but one thing I can’t stand is someone choosing not to come to church because someone else “offended” them. Yes, I have talked about changing my records, but that wasn’t just because of Tyrant, there were other factors and SL-HB knows it, so pretty much I’m saying, I’m not a hypocrite, though, we all are in a little way. She gets a little flustered, “well, yeah, but,” and I interrupted and reminded her that she is getting ready to go to the Temple so she shouldn’t let other people begin to get in the way of that. Then she says that maybe she’ll come to sacrament, and my old day pig headedness may have come out but I was shaking my head because that’s stupid, aside from the fact that she’d be leaving me alone with Tyrant. Then she says that at least one of the Sundays she won’t be there or she’ll be late or something because her and the new Newbie (our fourth roommate who just moved in) have really wanted to go to some restaurant because they have a Sunday brunch so they are finally going to do that. I just shook my head and said, “I’m not even going to say anything about that,” and I may have repeated it because I was ticked off. She’s trying to go to the Temple of all places! I think that if you are ready to go to the Temple you should be able to obey the Ten Commandments. They aren’t rocket science.
If you can’t obey the 10 commandments what can you do? They are all relatively easy.
Thou Shalt Not Kill…check, thou shall honor they mother and they father….check, keep the Sabbath day holy…um, unless a restaurant is having a Sunday brunch.
It just bothers me and I know people have their free agency and they can do whatever they please, but what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t tell her she’s being stupid? I mean, that’s what friends are for. Why would you stop coming to church because someone did or said something to you the wrong way, especially when you know that they have no tact, it’s not secret that Tyrant isn’t good with people, I think the whole ward knows it, and it’s not like she’s had to put up with it for as long as I have, one week…you poor thing, try the whole time we’ve had these callings. She wants me to send out the e-mails, to make the bulletin, to welcome people who were just baptized for goodness sakes. I’d never done that before! Granted SL-HB’s complaints are legit, her reaction is over the top, stop coming to church because someone upset you…ugh. Sorry, I’m no better, I know this, but I need people to tell me like it is, otherwise what’s the point of having these friends. Why would I want people who aren’t going to tell me when I’m making a mistake, it’s like having friends who won’t tell you that maybe you should change before you go out for the evening, or tell you when you have food in your teeth or your fly is down. Granted, I tend to be overbearing at times, but I was tired, filter was asleep for the day. When I went to brush my teeth she told me pretty much that I made a mistake by ‘yelling’ at her, I may have snapped, I didn’t yell. She said, “That wasn’t a good time to yell at me,” I didn’t realize that there was a good time to be told you’re being petty. Maybe I should make an appointment with her. Besides the fact that I didn’t yell! Then when she went upstairs she made me promise not to yell at her tomorrow. So I said, “I promise I won’t yell at you tomorrow about this.” Didn’t make any promises for Tuesday or for other things she might do or say that might cause me to “yell”. If she wants me to I can demonstrate my yelling capabilities so she will be better able to tell the difference of when I yell and when I snap.