Chapter 145: Action Jackson

This afternoon Moxie, Petunia and I had an e-mail chain going. We were talking about going to a movie tonight. Moxie dropped out of the running and informed us that she wouldn’t be making it, but if anyone kissed a guy she was to be informed. So with that I write this blog. Actually, nothing happened, no one got any action except my friend was hit on by three middle aged drunk guys, okay, so maybe 35 isn’t middle aged, but, whatever. It was a kid movie, what were three guys doing there? I could understand if they had some girls in the mix, but whatever.

Wow it’s late because my last two thoughts ended with the statement, ‘but whatever’. Way to complete a thought right? So anyway. In our e-mails we joked about who got to make out with whom. Petunia was to kiss Agent L and I was to kiss B2, Fiancé, and Dirty (should he make an appearance) and that’s when I realized that in the world of pretend I’m a slut.

So Petunia and I thought of our e-mail chain when we got to the theater and had a little laugh about it. Then we all headed into the theater to watch the film (no Dirty, so at least I wouldn’t be as much of a slut). I like to have things random when it comes to sitting with a group that has all good looking guys in it. I’m not trying to avoid anyone, but I like to let go and have fate take over. Of course in reality fate has nothing to do with it and if no one is trying to sit by someone in particular we all just end up sitting in the order we were standing in. So I had Agent L on my left, but was lucky enough to have Petunia jump ahead a spot and sit on my right. I knew I had to get some form of action to write about for Moxie so I asked Agent L if he would try to put the moves on me if I sat next to him. He said, ‘no’ so I jumped up and acted like I was going to move. But then I sat down because I’m all talk no action anyway. Then I turned to Petunia and asked if she was going to try to put the moves on me. Surprise, she said no. So I had to buck it up, fate had given me action-less movie companions….bummer. We went to see Wall-E which I had originally had no interest in seeing, and even today I didn’t want to see it, but I actually really liked it, I have my opinions on it, but I’ll save those for now. The two main robots…err…characters have this thing about hand holding. Well, Wall-E really wants to hold someone’s hand, so every time he went in for the kill I would look over at Agent L and then flash my hand, the only way I could have been more obvious would be to put a flashing neon sign above my hand that says, “This is as easy as it looks.” I was joking anyway so I wasn’t heartbroken when all he did was laugh at me and shake his head. So many wasted opportunities, no wonder he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he won’t even take freebies.

Fiancé didn’t even say anything to me tonight, I even did the point and wink, but I don’t think he saw it. B2 wanted to go to Denny’s but never actually asked the group if they wanted to go, so we didn’t. Petunia pushed me towards B2 (Didn’t think I’d call you out on it did you?) and I picked out her next boyfriend. The first one was a tall, ethnic young man with long black hair and I forget what his shirt said, but it’s what drew me to him as a prospect for her. The second future Mr. Petunia walked past us after the movie, long curly hair (the kind that looks a little greasy) with, wait for it, a bandana in it like he’s a member of a 90’s rock band, I feel like the back of his shirt had a skull, but I very well could just be placing my own desire for his shirt design into my memory.

Then as we walked out to the parking lot we all dispersed, kind of sad really. First Petunia left the group, but not until after getting a hug goodbye from Agent L (that’s right folks, Agent L is leaving us). Next Pack Rat left, but not until after getting a hug goodbye from Agent L. then we came across my car, and I stopped walking as B2 and Agent L kept going, finally they noticed I was no longer with them and turned to say goodbye. What? No hug? I’m the youngest of six; I do not do well with getting gypped. So I fussed about it until Agent L came and gave me a hug. As I was hugging him I pretended to cry and complained that first he wouldn’t hold my hand and then he wasn’t going to give me a hug. Then he whipped out the “L” sign one last time. I’m going to miss that sign…err, and him too I guess. Then I gave B2 a hug goodbye and got in my car and left.
Do hugs count as action?