Chapter 127: I didn't know Mormons couldn't send flowers. I know they can't dance

Just to update you, we did have our second part of the dating conversation. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and I got my opportunity to throw out my smart ass remarks to Agent L and Chill (the boy I’m writing a comic book story with) because I lucked out with sitting behind them. Pretty much what I pulled from the information is that I need to stop eating and lose some serious pounds in order to be asked out, because while the guys claimed that they want someone spiritual and someone they connect with what they really had in mind was Jessica Alba joining the church on a super spiritual kick. I’ve got personality, never had a problem with that. I can be spiritual when someone isn’t ticking me off, I think I’m decent looking and even if I weren’t that’s not something that I could change, so it really leaves it to my weight. When the guys number one thing they look for in a girl is her attractiveness you have to keep in mind they aren’t only talking about a pretty face, because some of these girls they go for aren’t pretty, they’re “hot”, in other words, they’re skinny as a rail whether due to high metabolism or anorexia/bulimia, but again, it doesn’t mean that they are prettier than the girls not getting asked out, sometimes they are just skinner. Ticks me off. But I’m not here to go off on that.
After the meeting I had a strange boost of confidence, it actually started coming on before the meeting. I was walking down the hallway talking to SL-HB and one of our “leaders” (though we aren’t in the youth program anymore, I don’t know what else to call her) and she was saying how nervous she was and we were telling her it was going to be okay and SL-HB said that we all were a little nervous about the meeting and I said, “Not me, I’m cool as a cucumber,” and then the moment I said it I began to wonder if my skirt was tucked into my underwear.
But after the meeting I was joking around with the guys that I know, telling Agent L that before he moves I want to sit next to him in Sacrament because I get jealous that all these other girls get to but I have never had the honor. I didn’t go into the fact that every time the seat next to me is empty I hoped he would come sit by me, because he’s one of those guys who sits next to a different person every Sunday, it’s like freaking Coz and his DTRs, all these other girls get them but I never get one. (Still haven’t spoken to Coz by the way, I think he knows it’s best to never speak to me again).
Before the meeting I couldn’t find B2 so I sent him a text message asking where he was, and then I set my phone down and kind of forgot about it. Ten or so minutes later I reach down and check and he’s written back saying he was three rows behind me, so I turn quickly, like I’m in a scary movie or something and the bad guy has been there the whole time, and I make eye contact with this summer guy, who is attractive, but not the person I was looking for. He smiles and being the social retard that I am, I quickly looked forward again, and was too afraid to look around for B2 after that. But I finally built the courage to search again and found him. After the meeting I went to find him to ask him to come play games that night, we talked about the text, how he sent it and then looked at me for a while so that when I got the text and looked around he could smile and wave or something, who knows what, I told him it was probably the creepiest text I’ve ever received, then I told him everything that happened with the text, making eyes at the stranger and such, and then that I found him and kept staring at him until SL-HB made me turn around, of course that last, creepy stalker like thing, wasn’t true, but it was kind of funny. I invited him to games and he said he was going to hang out with Bachelor No-Go and his family, but he would try to come. I told him that it didn’t matter, I just wanted to invite him, and he could say ‘no’. I don’t want people to think they have to say ‘yes’ all the time, that’s kind of how Coz and I stopped talking. So he said he would see and I said, “Ok”. Then I left him to his wandering, talked to a few people and left. When I was in the parking lot B2 pulled up behind my car and said he was going to go hang out with No-Go’s family right then, so he should be able to make it later on, again, I just said, ok. I think a part of me knew he wasn’t going to make it, I wasn’t upset, I understood completely, I just don’t think he knew he wasn’t going to be coming over, which he didn’t, in case you’re sitting there in suspense.
So Monday rolls around, went and hung out with my sister at the gynecologist office, pretty exciting stuff, I read that guys need folic acid even more than the woman if they want to increase their chances of a healthy baby and that’s pretty much all I gained from that experience. Then we went out to eat, and from there I called in to work to see if I could take the rest of the day off and hang out with my other sister, Beans. I love all my sisters, I love them all for different things, but if I had to choose between the three of them which is my absolute favorite it would be Beans, though the one who lives here is leading a very close second. I don’t know, it could be because Beans is the mother of my favorite nephew, that may have cemented her position in the sister social hierarchy.
Then I went to FHE. I got there and I wasn’t necessarily surrounded by my comfort squad, but I took a seat and listened to a good lesson and afterwards introduced myself to a new girl to the area. Then I told the girls I was chatting with that I was going to mingle, who knew I was so social right? So I go around and say ‘hello’ to a few people but ultimately end up where I began. Newscaster Ned comes over to say something and I reach out to shake his hand, he shakes mine but I don’t let go (a trick I learned from McCormick in college, you hold on to their hand but you act like they are the ones who won’t let go, it’s fun to see who plays along and who turns red in the face). He doesn’t really seem to react, he’s talking to someone else as he’s shaking my hand anyway, so it stops shaking, and then after a few seconds he begins shaking my hand again. Then I let our hands fall to our sides and start to swing them, so he plays along. I’m a bit of a hand holding slut I’m not going to lie.
So then I let go of his hand to find other people to talk to, finally Moxie and Duff (Is that her name now?) show up…and then they leave. But they came back. They told me that they were going to go see a movie after FHE and invited me to come along, a couple other people were invited as well. SL-HB was not at FHE and therefore I am assuming was not invited, but I didn’t ask. All I know is that no matter what, if she finds out that we went and didn’t invite her she’s going to be ticked. It’s how she gets, I’ve seen it. Diva went to a movie once that SL-HB wanted to see and she got upset at Diva, but Diva was already out, why is she suddenly supposed to call and invite people who aren’t already hanging out with her? Anyway, so just putting that out there, and I’ll let you know if anything goes down with it, because I know tonight she’s going to say, “You and Moxie were out pretty late last night what did you guys do?” When really she’s thinking, “why wasn’t I invited?”
Anywho, it was pretty crowded in the house so I went to the deck and there flirted with Agent L, one of my favorite things to do, mostly because he gets this grin on his face and he shakes his head like I’m the most ridiculous person he’s ever met, I know, that’s weird to like that, but I love that reaction from him, therefore I keep saying flirtatious things to him, and I could be 100% honest in what I am saying and he’ll never take me seriously, very comforting in a way. I also went to kiss my fiancé on the cheek because Chill always kisses him on the cheek and then I stopped just before doing it and told him I was kidding (this is all going back to the strange surge of confidence since Sunday’s meeting). Then Moxie comes to tell me we’d better leave to get to the movie in time. So we all leave through the back gate, but someone needs to remind the boys that we are going (B2, Chill, and Fiancé) , Moxie was avoiding someone so she sent me back in to tell them. I walked up to Chill and Fiancé and told them that we were on the move, then I went over to B2 who went to give me a high five and so I gave him one and then held his hand for a second, like intentionally, he knew what I was doing, this whole cementing my place as the buddy crap that I keep doing because I don’t know what else to do. I let him know we were headed out to the movie, he asked if I was going too and I told him ‘yes’ and then asked if he would cuddle with me. He paused and thought about it! Then he nodded his head and I said, “You had to pause,” and started to walk away and he said something about seeing how long he had to pause in the theater. He didn’t pause long, but he did his usual, cuddling with two girls at once, which did not work well in that theater, very uncomfortable. So the whole movie I spent kind of getting ticked at him for nothing. I’m such a girl, but I think what it really boiled down to was I was trying to convince myself that he wants nothing more of me than to just be friends and I kicked myself a bit for thinking he wants to be anything else, and then I directed some anger at him and made sure I wasn’t involuntarily leaning towards him, because I didn’t want him to think that I like him as more than a friend (even though I do) and I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t a lie. When the movie was over I was in a little bit of a foul mood. Amazing how I can have a whole argument by myself and come out kind of upset with someone else. I played it off as being tired though, and oddly enough it may have all had to do with being tired because what kind of crazy does that during a movie?
We go out to eat and B2 asks if he can just ride with Moxie and Duff and Moxie keeps saying how her car is dirty and then she says that I should drive, so everyone gets into my car and they direct me to the restaurant. We get there and the hostess didn’t seem all too happy about having us there to eat, but she let us sit down anyway, seven people in one narrow booth. It was interesting. I went to get in and B2 jumped in between me and the booth and threw me off because I really was just about it get into the booth and he scooted in first, guess he was tired of standing, then I got to have Duff to the right of me and then she got to have Chill sit next to her. Pretty excited for her. But four people on one bench made for close quarters, and again, I would not have minded if I knew how I was supposed to act.
He did offer me some of his fries though, but by then I was pretty much done with eating, by the way, it was around midnight, if not later, at this point, no one should eat that late. At one point he had his arm around me and tried to feed me a fry, which I wouldn’t have minded, but again, I was done. Then he took another one and dipped it in ranch and as he was dipping it in ranch I knew he would try to put it in my mouth and I tucked in my lips in and prepared for the worst, I hate ranch, but I just leaned my head back and he gave up and fed it to himself. Also, I let him drink some of my water when he ran out; it was kind of a joke, because though you may not know, I’m a bit of a germaphobe. So I held my glass towards him like he was allowed to drink out of it, but didn’t mean it, and put it back where it was and then he took a sip, out of my straw, and I said, “Figures,” because jokes always backfire on me. Pretty much I was done with the water, but forgot and grabbed my glass later, I remembered the moment I picked up my glass, but to avoid seeming completely strange, I forced myself to take a sip, I woke up with a sore throat today, I think I might have contracted something.
When we were leaving B2 stopped on the bench to tie his shoes, so I tied one of them and then when I finished I ruffled his hair, like he was a kid brother, he laughed, but I kicked myself. I think I’ll always kick myself when I do something stupid and buddy-like. A girl could go crazy liking a guy like B2, feeling like maybe she’s on her way out of Buddyland and then every once in a while realizing that she’s just being dug in further into the intricate world of Buddyland - of the world of never being the kind of girl some guy will make his girlfriend.