Chapter 97: 20 minutes left

I felt it necessary to pull out an old habit of being micromanaged. My last job I had to account for every minute of the day. This resulted in me working more than 40 hours a week out of guilt, but only getting paid for 40 hours. I would divide my time up into training, administrative work, working in the store, travel…and I think that’s it. Now that I am a 9-5 girl (well, an 8:30 to 5 with an hour break girl) my hours are set, but my responsibilities are not. I get paid to sit here, I get paid the same when I’m doing stuff, and I still get paid when there is down time. It’s what I thought I wanted, wait a second; I’ve talked about that before. I’m beginning to wonder, more like hope, that other people may feel the same way. That want something, they get it and they find they want more. Oh you know what? It’s probably that grass is greener thing. Anyway, so for your understanding of my job I have divided up today in increments and pretty much started at 8:00 AM and went through until now (almost 4:30 PM) this includes my hour break.
.5 hrs Settling in for the day
1.25 hrs Meeting
1.5 hrs E-mailing, blogging, visiting coworkers
.25 hrs Learning about Mistake #1
1 hrs Dwelling on Mistake #1
2 hrs Waiting for boss lady to open door (and surfing the web, etc.)
.5 hrs Working
.25 hrs Correcting mistake #2
.25 hrs playing sudoku
.15 hrs making soap bubbles in the bathroom (seriously, I needed it)
.10hrs Working
.5hrs Writing this, contemplating life, waiting for the door to open, thinking about the last .5hrs of work, wondering if I should start looking for another job.
TOTAL HOURS: 8

Right now I am waiting yet again for the door to open and I’m wondering if I should go visit my friend in the mailroom. It’s looking good, but I almost just want to sit here and not talk to anyone. It’s been a really rough day for me.
I suppose I had a misunderstanding about new jobs. I believe someone once told me that if you can hack it for the first three months then you’ll be fine. Well, I really liked the first three months, so am I somehow backwards from the rest of the world? Here I am finishing up my fourth month with this company and it’s the worst one yet. Maybe it’s because I believe myself to be off of the learning curve so therefore every mistake is just an idiot moment that leaves me looking incompetent, and maybe that’s what I am. As much as I didn’t like training at least I got better at it, not worse like I do here at this job.
I think it’s best if I don’t leave too much personal stuff around my workstation, that way when they can me they won’t have to put so much into the box to send to me.
Whelp, better knock off another .25 hours, spent doubting myself.