Chapter 92: The more you know the less you don't know.

In college I had a roommate who wouldn’t put up with a lot. I don’t know if her courage came from being the only girl in a family with 6 kids or if it was some innate behavior that she had where she wouldn’t put up with crap. I wish I were like her. I remember once that she told me how her boyfriend called “just to talk” and she said, “So, you don’t have anything you need to talk about?” and he said, “No,” and she said, “Then call me when you do,” and hung up. Why can’t I be like that?
I absolutely hate the phone, I think I was phoned out in middle school and the beginning of high school when my best friend at the time would call and talk for hours. For some reason it was as though she always had to be connected with someone. Well, if you’re always connected with someone when do you have time to be by yourself and to develop some depth of character so that when you are talking to people you actually prove to be somewhat interesting? Sorry, small vent there.
Well Renaissance Man is kind of like phone-a-holic best friend in high school. He called me Sunday, he called me Monday, I never returned the calls so I felt bad and told him in an e-mail that I would call him Tuesday. I did, he had to call me back later to which he did but I missed it. He left a voicemail telling me to call him when I got the message, well, I was about to eat dinner so I decided to do that instead. Food is much more important that Renaissance Man. While eating dinner he called back! Who does that? It hadn’t even been a half and hour since he left the message. So I picked up and then he really had no reason in talking to me and I remembered my college roommate and really wanted to tell him to call me when he had something he needed to talk about, I don’t just shoot the breeze over the phone, especially when my dinner is getting cold and nasty on the table. Not to mention I was at Ducky’s house too. So 45 minutes later I finally get the nerve to tell him that I have to go, my friend is getting bored. Of course, I didn’t get to hang up before finding out that he plays Dungeons and Dragons.
Now, I have tried to be open minded, I’ve tried not to be a cynic. I let the fact that he was an avid Renaissance attendee slide, but can I really let something like Dungeons and Dragons slide? I was thinking about it last night and darn it if I don’t always get what I want! A couple of months ago I said I wanted a boy to be interested, and here comes along Mr. Collins. Then I’m sure that not too many blogs ago I said I wanted a knight in shining armor, which I’m sure Renaissance Man has donned that outfit more than once in his life. I really should be more specific. But it’s like I said before, I figure out what I want and when I get it I realize that there is more that I want.
I have to admit something here because it goes along with my train of thought even if it’s not easily followed. I’m sure you’ve already figured it out but I hate the relationship between my oldest brother and his wife. Every fear I have of getting married and having children is magnified whenever I have to spend time with them. My sister-in-law, the domineering wife and inactive mother, “Honey, do this, do that, I know that you work six days a week but why couldn’t you put those boxes in the garage when you got home late from work last night?” (Why can’t she put them in herself? How helpless/lazy is she?) My brother who watches the same four episodes of the same TV show over and over on the internet because to him it is the funniest thing in the world but part of me can’t help but think that it’s his only escape from his family. I guess what I am trying to say is, I try not to give too much thought to people who I feel I would become my sister-in-law with. Does that make sense? I don’t want that kind of relationship where the woman got married, but only uses her husband, who is more than willing to be stepped all over, and to me, people with oddities such as D&D are people who are willing to be stepped all over by a woman, not just me, but any woman really.
Really when it comes down to it I am a flat rock, somewhat unevenly balanced on a ledge, and each of these peculiarities was/is a small pebble in the favor of staying on the ledge and staving off falling. I feel that I can say I gave it a try and not feel bad. I mean, I’ll probably go on one more date with him anyway, but then after that I’ll have to politely inform him that I don’t feel the way that he feels about this situation, he could in the end turn out to be a great friend, but for the sake of time I think it’s best to inform him that despite what he thinks or what impression I may give off, I’m not what he’s looking for.