Chapter 64: Mad Cows and Burnt Fries

I’m a horrible person, yesterday was just proof of all of that. I was so angry at people who I had no right being angry at.
Today wasn’t all that much better. I went to ward council for Ducky today, she asked me to do it last night and I figured that there was no harm in it. What I didn’t know is that the meeting would end early for the first time ever and I had a half an hour before church started. I was sitting in a pew by myself and I had all my stuff next to me…a natural barrier? Unconsciously set up if that’s what it was. A member of the bishopric came over and sat down near me. He punched my arm and said that he had heard I was asked to that ridiculous dating activity and that I had said no. I defended myself, explaining that I had to work that night and was unable to go. I asked him how he had heard because I certainly didn’t tell a lot of people, but he wouldn’t reveal his sources. He also knew about my new job and I told him that he was a little gossip, he just laughed and then got up to go practice singing (the guys were singing in church that day).
Then I was writing in my “journal” which to be honest I can’t find my journal so I just had a notebook I was writing in. Mr. Collins started to come over to sit by me. I flipped the notebook over so that he wouldn’t be able to see what I was writing. Of course he asked me what I had in my lap, I said, “It’s my journal” I don’t lie as much as people think I do. Then he was like, “Oh what’s that?” and pointed in the opposite direction. I looked straight ahead, my pity smile on my face and said, “I don’t fall for that, you let it happen once in fourth grade you don’t let it happen again.” Why was I joking around? I don’t know, nervous habit. Then he kept trying to let me sit next to him. He asked about my barrier and I stated that I was just that kind of person, setting up barriers, and you know what? It wasn’t a lie even though I said it with a smile. I told him that my stuff was saving Diva’s seat and he said, “Well, why don’t you scoot down and then you can still sit by Diva and I can sit on the other side of you.” I told him that I sit on the end, I don’t like to be enclosed by people. Half lie, though if I did have it my way I would sit on the end every Sunday. Then Asshole comes up and hits me in the arm, so I turn to him thinking he would try to save me for some stupid reason and he just says, “ha-ha” and started to walk away. I hit him before he could go too far.
Then Jelly bean’s fiancé came and sat down (I don’t know if he has a name yet). Then Mr. Collins says, “well I guess I’m sitting here,” like he hadn’t made the decision to make my life a living hell before he sat down. Motor Mouth came up to me and asked what she could do, I told her to tell Diva I had saved her seat and she should come and sit there. Diva waved me over to where she was sitting and told me to just come sit with her, but I couldn’t be that obvious, I am just too freaking nice! Not a redeeming quality. So she finally came back to sit down, but by that time Mr. Collins had disappeared. So we sat down and then Diva got up to go sit by Jelly Bean! An action that I don’t know if I can ever forgive her for! As soon as she sat down church started and I didn’t feel like moving across the bodies to sit on the other side on the off chance that Mr. Collins would return to the same spot. My mistake, I’m more of an idiot than I originally thought, he came back and sat down near me…too close. I was so angry the whole time, my eyes burned and I wanted more than anything to punch someone. I kept thinking about how to get out of coming to church anymore, or at least about ending that day early. I could see Asshole from where I was sitting and he was facing me, I wouldn’t look at him because I didn’t want to see any facial expressions he might make, only solidifying his name. Instead, I focused completely on the speakers so that maybe I could pretend to not know he was there. When the meeting ended Mr. Collins got up and said something about being a pleasure sitting with me. I just smiled, mostly happy that he was leaving. The moment he was gone Jelly Bean and Diva wanted to say things to me involving Mr. Collins. I just grabbed my stuff, told them I was leaving. I didn’t care what they wanted to say and I didn’t want to talk about Mr. Collins, ever. I walked through the gym and came out the other door to take a more hidden way to the bathroom. I passed Ducky and she said she had to talk to me and I told her I had to kill her. I wouldn’t have been stuck sitting next to him if she had gone to the meeting rather than me. I went to the bathroom and went to the library to make copies. Ducky meet me there, I told her I didn’t really want to kill her, but I sure did want to die. I also told her and Bull that I would not be staying until the end of church.
In the meantime I started to talk to this guy, who does not have a name yet, and he was talking to me about a misunderstanding among the ladies and the gentlemen at church and a certain thing called Mad Cows. I am not at this time permitted to discuss the information discussed, except for on my end. He had mentioned one thing about how girls do the same thing, and it’s hypocritical for the girls to assume that they didn’t. It made me think of my “Fries and dipping sauce” list and although that was made up in retaliation to the Mad Cows information swarming around church there was no doubt in my mind that it didn’t start with Fries, it just get defined into food products with fries, we’ve always felt this way about the guys. I told him that some guys might not like what we call them (burnt fries) and Asshole had been standing there by this point in the conversation and said, “a-hole”. I laughed and said, “Who told you your nickname!?” too bad he thought I was joking. But at the same time it made me feel a little bad about having such a mean name given to him.
Besides it’s not so bad with him anymore. Before the library he offered an apology about laughing at me before church. Then when we were talking in the library I asked him not to bring up Mr. Collins anymore. He said that bringing it up brought him pleasure but he would stop. So we compromised, he can bring it up, but not every time I see him, that’s when it gets ridiculous, so to this we agreed.
Between Sunday and Monday my mood towards asshole changed from anger to pity. I feel sorry for him…and he’s a little bit depressed I think. So from this time forth he will be called Eeyore when we are getting along and asshole when we are not.