Chapter 53: Blockbuster Girl

I explained to Diva last night about how I can discern if there is relationship potential between me and a guy by the movies he enjoys or even doesn’t enjoy. Preface, there is a guy in the ward who was once known as, “The Barnes’ and Noble Guy”, at least in a certain social circle…not sure what circle that was, but I met him once and he told me the story. He had taken a girl on a date and they went to Barnes’ and Noble with the hidden purpose of seeing what books the girl would look at, and from there he would determine if there was relationship potential. So, with my little talent I have decided that I will be the "Blockbuster Girl". I was talking to Sweet Pea on the phone today explaining all of this and I mentioned that movies have a lot to do with a relationship (therefore being Blockbuster Girl is more essential than being the Barnes’ and Noble Guy). You don’t share books all the time, but in a relationship you are constantly sharing movies. If you are not open to each others genre of video entertainment then how are you suppose to have that effective cuddling leading to kissing leading to marriage portion of your relationship? So I will be the blockbuster girl.
Ducky said once that I’m shallow and yet, somehow still come across as deep.
The reason that all of this came up is the fact that I have proven this theory on more than one occasion, and thus far it has been true with G.I. Joe.
This past Saturday we had an activity…a regional activity, which means that there were even more of the same kind of people to surround myself with. I gave a ride to G.I. Joe and one other person. On the car ride over there were several uses of the phrases, “She always does this to me,” “she’s always good times,” and several other phrases where I had to refrain from rolling my eyes. Near the start of the activity he attempted to get the gunk out of my eye, you know, that little eye gunk that appears in the corner of your eye sometimes. He told me it was there and then tried to get it out. I have a bubble, and having someone else’s finger in my eye definitely goes against the bubble boundary. Then after the activity we were walking around Maymont park (the three of us, because I think person 3 has a crush on G.I. Joe and wanted to enjoy the romantic scenery), I however got caught there, walking around with the two of them.
At one point he told Person 3 that he is over at my family’s house all the time and that my mom wants him to marry either me or my sister. To which I made a face that Person 3 saw and commented on. I made sure to make the statement that I am not currently interested in marriage. In fact, several times that day I made similar statements. Once I explained why I don’t get asked out (I’m not very approachable to new people so no one bothers and when people get to know me it’s too late, I’m in buddyland) after I explained this I added that I don’t care right now anyway, I enjoy being single and I don’t think I’m ready to give it up just yet. Sure, I want a boyfriend, but those words never left my mouth on Saturday.
The drive home was uncomfortable because G.I. Joe and Person 3 both live near each other and I was trying to work it out to avoid any awkward situations with either of them. My brain couldn’t work fast enough and I ended up dropping off Person 3 first at the suggestion of G.I. Joe because dropping him off last really did put me at the road I needed to get home. So I drop him off and he asks if I want to come in and say ‘hello’ to his mom. This isn’t weird, I actually talk to his mom a lot, her being my sister’s mother-in-law, and my sister being her favorite daughter-in-law. So I say ‘ok’ and end up sitting on the couch zoning in and out of the conversation. G.I. Joe keeps bringing up these girls, which I honestly could care less, I do however notice that at the activity the only ones who seemed to catch his attention were the young airheads that no one in all reality had a chance with. They are boy crazy individuals who do not want to head down the same relationship path as these older men who are ready to settle down (apparently with a cute, air-headed, 19-year old). These are the type of girls who end up moving out west and in a year’s time they have meet someone closer to their age, cuter, and more successfully bound than the guys here, and yes, they are engaged to them. Yet, these boys never learn and it’s like watching a freak show every summer.
Anyway, so his mom interrupts and tells him that maybe I don’t want to hear about all these other girls. I, in my mind that is not trained for situations where people are actually trying to set me up, say, “Oh I don’t care,” and then looked at him and said, “as long as you aren’t trying to make me your wingman I’m fine.” He told me he would never do that. Then he starts to talk about movies, movies I have never seen, and ones that I’m not interested in seeing. The whole time I am thinking about my theory on movies and cultivating it for presentation to Diva.
One awkward moment was when he told his mom that he had tried to ask me out but I shot him down…excuse you? Offering to get me some chocolate and asking me what type of food I like does not constitute trying to ask me out and me not eating chocolate or liking a certain type of food does not constitute turning you down…though I probably would have anyway, I don’t appreciate the deceitfulness of the statement.
I also have a hard time telling people I’m leaving, which is why I can end up being at my parent’s house for hours on any given Sunday. It’s difficult for me to say, “Okay I’ll see you guys later.” I usually go into where my dad is, kiss him on the forehead and then go and try to tell my mom. I think I have sadly conditioned my dad, like Pavlov’s dogs, when I come in and kiss him on the forehead he asks if I am leaving and I say, “sooner or later” and he just laughs because he knows that it will be a while, but I wanted to make sure to say “goodbye” to him, should the opportunity present itself to leave and I not have time to come in and say goodbye at that time. Mostly it’s because my mom doesn’t take “goodbyes” well.
So I just sat on the couch, constantly yawning because I really was tired. Finally I waited until a show was over, the ending credits to a show just seem the right time to say, “well, I’d better get going.” So I did that. I start to usher myself towards the door and G.I. Joe says something about how one day we’ll be to the hugging stage and I thinking déjà vu. We’ve had this conversation, however, we’ve also had a hug…I didn’t bring it up, I was just grateful that he forgot.