Chapter 54: The Saving Powers of Movies

I wish that I felt the way that I felt when I was younger, mostly just revolving around my love life. Not that it was great when I was younger, but I felt more strongly about people. Do you know what I mean? We’re talking, writing poems because he broke my heart because he looked at another girl…I know, it’s much more dramatic, but at the same time it was more exciting. I don’t feel that way about anyone and I don’t know if it’s because I’m older now and that’s just not the way we mature people feel about others, or if it’s because there’s just no one that makes my heart beat faster. I want someone to make my heart beat faster; I want someone to make me feel socially retarded because I can barely speak if they are making eye contact with me. I want someone worth writing a poem about.
Speaking of people who don’t give me heart palpitations, G.I. Joe’s brother came home from overseas in Iraq with the military. G.I. Joe’s brother being my favorite and only brother-in-law they came over to the house and for some reason brought the whole clan. Well, at first it was just one of his brothers which I used to have a crush on, but he got married and I got over it. Then there was a knock at the door and there was G.I. Joe stating that the parent’s house was boring so he hoped none of us minded that he came over. So life grew uncomfortable quickly because G.I. Joe tried to mack on me in front of his brothers! I have this thing, where I’m really uncomfortable in front of other people when it comes to mackage. This can go two ways, I can’t flirt in front of other people so despite the fact of whether or not I like the person I can’t handle flirting, or being flirted with when there is an audience. Strike one. So, he’s sitting across the room and my adorable nephew comes in and looks at him and then points to the other side of the room and says, “Go away!” meaning that he wanted the chair that G.I. Joe was occupying. I was sitting on the couch with my brother-in-law on one side and me on the other and G.I. Joe comes and sits down between us stating that he was kicked out by my nephew which I knew but I preferred that he would have chosen standing rather than sitting by me, to which he sat too closely. He asked me to do an asthma walk with him at the end of September, when someone asks you to be a do gooder with them it’s a little more difficult to deny them. Especially in front of people, what are you supposed to say? Let the asthma people walk for themselves they’re not in wheelchairs, and even then, they are still mobile. Maybe it would have been more appropriate to state that I don’t support asthma. But I agreed and luckily he asked my sister as well. All the while I was sitting there hoping that nobody else noticed how closely he was sitting, or that he kept trying to “accidentally” hit my feet with his. To think that G.I. Joe has had more relationship experience than I, is older than I am, and yet I feel the more mature between the two of us. For someone with his age and experience I expected more.
In the kitchen the brother of brother-in-law that I used to have a crush on (which I think I’ll call my brother-in-law Navy Seal Ken…it was a Christmas thing) made a comment which I do not now remember, but I know with a certainty had to do with G.I. Joe’s advances towards me and gave the implication that he assumed I had similar feelings towards G.I. Joe. I played the oblivious card…oh is he friendlier with me than anyone else in the room? I didn’t even notice. This is why I don’t flirt in front of people, they will call you on it whether to your face or to the person you were flirting with. Don’t misread that though, I don’t flirt with G.I. Joe because I don’t want to…period, not because of the above said reasons, those reasons are for when I like someone.
At the end (and we’re talking about a week later from the above day) of Navy Seal Ken and my sister’s visit I walked them to their car, mostly because I was carrying my nephew and I always walk him to the car because he is the only single man that I truly love. I gave Navy Seal Ken a hug goodbye and he said, “I don’t know if (insert sister’s nickname that I haven’t developed yet, here) asked you but does G.I. Joe make you uncomfortable?” I didn’t know how to respond, a simple “hell yes,” didn’t seem appropriate especially in front of the nephew and at the same time even a nod didn’t seem appropriate because I felt as though they would then pass it on, and despite how much I’m not in love with G.I. Joe I still felt the need to spare feelings. If the time ever came where I had to tell G.I. Joe I wasn’t interested at least I would say it to him and him only, third parties can complicate things and feelings can easily be hurt. That’s right; I actually do care about people’s feelings. So I shook my head ‘no’ and played the ignorant card yet again, acting like I didn’t notice. Then Navy Seal Ken says, “Well, I think he might have a little bit of a crush on you.” Which I didn’t even have time to censor myself and I said, “I know,” and quickly added, “I create feelings in others that they themselves do not recognize.” I’ve come to realize that the only way to escape from an awkward situation is to throw in a good movie quote.