Why Nice Guys Finish Last Series. Volume Two: The Friend Zone

In the last entry I decided that nice guys finish last because of the creep factor. They have their little quirks and maybe some problems with their mothers. I determined that they couldn't get the girl because of the serial killer stigma. Serial Killers are pretty nice people too (as I am believing even more as I read "The Serial Killers Club"). You just have to avoid their "type" and stay on their good side. There is a guy at work that I think is totally cute, but he's quiet and rarely speaks (to me or anyone else) and for a while I figured he might be a sociopath (especially since I was attracted to him and I have horrible luck with guys). For a while I thought his parents were out of the picture which did not help abate the warning signals reeling in my head that this adorable slice of manhood could be a sociopath and quite possibly be suppressing the serial killer urge (or maybe not even suppressing which may be worse). Anyway, that was the last post. This post is the long awaited second of the Nice guy series. It's not long awaited for all of you because I just reposted it. However, it's been over a year since I wrote the original and it was more for fun anyway, I don't really believe that nice guys finish last because they give off the Norman Bates vibe...though some of them very well may.


Series Two is devoted to the Friend Zone. The Friend Zone is the male version of Buddy Land, cause see, we can't chance women in Buddy Land meeting men in the Friend Zone, they might hook up and leave the area altogether! We can't have that, there must be order and abounding loneliness! Therefore we must give them two different places to dwell. Muhahaha!


Actually, for those of you who are unaware, they are not two real, finite, tangible places. However I do believe that the two "species" who are coexisting in this world are unable to connect and see each other in those other worlds. Does that make sense? Sometimes I ramble when I am talking about a whacked out theory. The people who are what I like to call Buddy remains are perfect for each other! The Nice Guys are looking for a girl who doesn't dump them in the Friend Zone and the Girls stuck in buddy land are looking for someone to see them as more than a friend. They have so much in common!

But I digress. The Friend Zone: An Essay on the Sad State of Our Single Times.

I think we have all been found guilty of it, there is a guy we know who may be interested in us, but we just aren't feeling it with them, which is a crying shame if you are a regular visitor or permanent resident of Buddy Land. So what to do with this person? They are totally cool and nice but we just don't want to date them, not sure why, we just don't.

I had that situation with D&D. I liked him as a person, I really did, but he liked me more than just a friend. I tried my hardest to see him as more, I went through mental preparation like an athlete, I tried to visualize holding his hand, kissing him, but...in the end there was still nothing. I had to tell him that I didn't think we liked each other in the same way. I would have loved to have had him as a friend. To have a guy to hang out with and watch movies and such, and I'm not going to lie, if he had been okay with that then that's what we would be. Perpetual friends. But though he said that he was okay with that and we should "hang out" sometime, I never heard from him again.

Broke my heart a little, but at the same time I silently cheered for him.

You see, the problem with the nice guy is he settles for the Friend Zone. He likes the girl, yes, so that's a little why he would stay in the Friend Zone, but also there is just the plain and simple truth that he is a nice guy. He doesn't want to hurt the girl's feelings by ditching her completely when she expresses that nothing more than friendship is going to happen (this is in a case when the girl does express genuine interest in remaining friends). Sometimes it's best to make a clean break, because once you're in the friend zone the girl can't let go, you're her buddy and she'll never understand why you feel the sudden urge to move on with your life, to get a girlfriend, to (gasp) not be at her beck and call. Because most of the time a guy in the friend zone is like a boyfriend without the action, so when the guy tries to leave it's almost like a break up (this is the same with Men and their "buddies" they stick in Buddyland - we are all, male and female, guilty of doing this to people).

I realize that I sound very harsh towards women, I should put a disclaimer that most, if not all, women do not do this to men on purpose, or to be mean or manipulative. They just know how they feel, and they love having the guy as a friend, why would they want to give him up? Why wouldn't they fight to keep possibly one of the best male relationships they have ever had?

It all starts simple enough, you aren't repulsed by the guy, he's not sending out the creep vibe and he's just a really nice guy. You have no reason he shouldn't be in your life, but you have insurmountable evidence that he can't be more in your life (i.e. absolute lack of attraction). It's not that you want a pet, it's that you want that possible friendship. He's holding out for the day you realize you're in love with him, and you...aren't expecting anything but a friend. It's kind of hard to finish the race when you keep going down the wrong road. Does that make any sense?

Who knows, I could be really off on this, but maybe there's just a smidgen of truth in there...right? If not, consider this a rambling post.