Chapter 75: Catch and Release

I never wrote about the date with Mr. Collins, maybe that would have been nice of me to keep people updated. Granted it’s already been a week and I currently have difficulties with my memory, not as bad as Ducky, but still, so if details are left out or if you don’t get the full effect of the date then I’m sorry. Mr. Collins was off to a rough start on Friday evening. See, Bachelor #2 turns out to be a tough guy to have to go on a double date with, meaning that Bachelor #2 is charming enough to go on a date with two girls at once. The type of date a girl wouldn’t mind being the 3rd wheel to. Anyway, Bachelor #2 was running late and he called Ducky to let her know this, he still showed up before Mr. Collins by maybe 2 or 3 minutes but they arrived at the front door at the same time (#2 parked somewhere else). Did I receive a call from Mr. Collins? No, and you would think that since I ran away from home once when he was late he would call to ensure that I didn’t run again. While waiting my roommates, Ducky, Uncle Jellybean, and I planned our course of action if he was 15 minutes late. We’d run out the door, go to where we were going to eat, Uncle Jellybean would fill in as my date and conveniently squeeze Mr. Collins out of the picture. But as I already said #2 and Mr. Collins came through the door together.
Ducky is an amazing individual, have I ever said that before? She somehow influenced the entire group to ride in my car, leaving me as the driver and plenty of distance between Mr. Collins and myself. #2 opened the door for Ducky and I quickly went to my door to not give Mr. Collins a chance to open it. When we arrived at the restaurant I quickly got out of the car and hurried towards the door so as not to give him a chance again. He actually picked up the pace and jogged a few steps to “beat” me, which he didn’t, to the door. He mentioned something about it and I just smiled like I had no idea that’s what he was trying to do. We sit down at our booth for dinner (I usually like booths, but I wanted more than anything at that moment to be at a table) and of course I have to sit by Mr. Collins who makes himself a little too comfortable, ever hear the saying, “This town ain’t big enough for the both of us?” I almost wanted to say that the bench wasn’t. It’s not that I need a lot of room to spread out, I just need some space. Thank goodness that Ducky and #2 were there because Ducky actually engaged Mr. Collins in conversation, very impressive on her part. Then #2 started to and then they got me to. I mostly jumped in when Ducky was telling #2 about our plans for next Friday because I did not want Mr. Collins coming along. I think I distracted him enough. During dinner Mr. Collins didn’t pull out one magic trick, granted he talked an awful lot about video games and practicing magic, but he didn’t grace us with any tricks during the meal. I was grateful.
On the car ride from dinner to the theater somehow Mr. Collins attention came to the fact that I don’t like dancing. He asked if it was because I didn’t know how or if I really didn’t like it. I told him I really didn’t like it, I’m not comfortable with dancing; during dinner Mr. Collins had stated how much he liked dancing. Oops.
We get to the theater about an hour too early and we also see that the movie playing is not the movie we thought it was going to be, but we took a vote and decided to walk around and come back to see the one they had scheduled. Walking and talking was not on my agenda for the evening and I would have much rather been able to simply walk with Ducky, or even #2, but I endured and it wasn’t all that bad, not as bad as I had dreaded it would be.
Where we were walking there happened to be a lot of Oriental rug shops and every time we passed one he would state what type of shop it was and ask if I thought that they would have a flying carpet. I said ‘no’ because I was not about to humor him. He asked why not and I said because it said it on their disclaimer. We went through this with about three stores when he finally says, “I don’t think you mean disclaimer, a disclaimer is if they say if you get hurt while flying on a flying carpet we are not responsible” then he proceeded to tell me that what I meant was a ‘notice’. Don’t tell me what I meant to say, I meant to say disclaimer, whether or not I had the definition correct it was still what I meant to say. If he knew what I meant to say then why didn’t he just let it go, what kind of chances do you think you have for a second date by trying to make me feel stupid? Besides if we are going to get all technical in this conversation why don’t you think about what you meant to say, I’m pretty sure an intellectual genius would know better than anyone else that flying carpets aren’t oriental! They’re Persian you nitwit! Why is it that the whole conversation felt like something I would have with The Antagonizer in my Rexburg residence?
Anyway, I’m pretty sure I’m leaving things out, but like I said in my disclaimer in the beginning (and yes, I know it wasn’t a disclaimer but screw you) I’m bound to have forgotten details.
We go get in line for the movie and Collins pulls out his first and only magic trick of the evening, which involved his movie ticket (which Ducky paid for thank goodness). I told him I could see the ticket and then he goes off about how people are always trying to accuse him of trying to deceive them, which wasn’t what I was doing, I just felt good that I had seen it. I told him I wasn’t trying to accuse him, and then the rest of the conversation is a blur, wouldn’t have helped writing this sooner either, I think it was a blue from the moment it happened. I already explained earlier on the date that I would be sitting next to Ducky; I had said it more of as a warning so he would understand when we made an obvious switch to make sure we were sitting next to each other. He sat on the right side and Ducky on the left (good thing too because of her bad ear). He immediately put his arm over the back of my chair and I don’t know if he was doing it intentionally and with a purpose or if he was, as usual, making himself comfortable and me totally uncomfortable. I was leaning forward most of the time and when I wasn’t I wouldn’t let my back touch the seat. The movie was actually pretty good and I fell in love with the hero of the story even though he had long hair, but he wouldn’t be the first that that’s happened with.
Car ride home I don’t think anything special happened. When we got to the house I was ready to make a clean cut and go. Collins got out of the car and #2 and Ducky did as well, but they were standing back a little and I panicked, why weren’t they coming? I later found out from Ducky that it was because she wanted Collins to know that this date was over. So I had to braved the walk to the door on my own. He thanked me for the date blah, blah and then gave me a hug. I didn’t want to give the hug but I did anyway. Overall though the date wasn’t bad but I didn’t fall in love either, or even in like.
Then Sunday rolls around, two days after the date. I went to church late (on purpose) and got to sit Collins’ free except that he was a pew away and I got to see that he had his arm around another girl! I was excited to say the least, if things panned out with this girl I was in the clear and even if they didn’t I could act the jealous type and tell him I never want to see him again. I had an out either way. Turns out that he really had his arm around her, not like me in the movie theater, and they were holding hands at some point and I think the rumor was that he was rubbing her arm too. I think I am officially off the hook.