Chapter 8: Eggnog Bites

Today was our holiday lunch at work. It was pretty interesting, but of course, I remembered why I avoid social situations. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t know that many people there or if I’m just shy and don’t talk to people…or what. I sat between two of the women that I work with and they talked to the people on the other side of them. I sat there and ate slowly trying to kill time. I looked at the clock a lot. I tried to enter the conversations occasionally but apparently they were “unenterable”. I just don’t really like to be at social events where I don’t really know anyone, especially when I am being forced to be there. I was finally included in a conversation when my manager thought I was actually listening while they were talking about microwaves and how when she was younger they didn’t have microwaves. So I listened to them talk to me about microwaves for a while and something about hour long baked potatoes. I never really thought about microwaves when I thought about baked potatoes, but I guess it is possible. My mom always actually baked them in the oven. Finally we got to the gift exchange so I didn’t really have to worry about making small talk because there was actually action involved.
It was pretty fun though, I got a pretty cool candle stand and a good smelling candle, can’t wait to burn it. We had a meeting afterwards. None of us were in the mood to have the meeting right after the party and I have to admit I wasn’t really paying attention. I keep thinking that any day now I’ll get a new job and it won’t matter that I don’t know what’s going on. My manager gave us all gifts and she got me lots of good smelling stuff. There is this Italian soap (she’s going there in March so she’s kind of on an Italian kick). It smells so good. She also got me “soothing foot lotion” and with it came spa socks! I don’t really know how they work but boy was I excited when I read what they were! Then I took them out and felt them…heaven! They are pretty much the softest things I have ever felt, I’m too afraid to even wear them. But I figure that sometime this week, with my work schedule, they will come in handy.
Completely random, but sometimes you don’t have a chance to finish a sentence, or there is a slight gap between important connections. It completely changes the meaning of what you are saying. Usually it’s a big rift between what you meant to say and what you got out. A couple of weeks ago my sister was talking to a coworker whose sister has been having health complications. The coworker is headed up north to visit her sister for Christmas and she was talking to my sister and said, “My sister’s dying,” and stopped to swallow or something, in those small seconds my sister started to panic (since she knew about the health complications), but then the coworker went on and said, “to see me.” So with this situation in mind I had a similar occurrence happen to me. After our meeting I was talking to one of the female trainers and she mentioned something about having a little black book and calling all her “friends” one after another to see who could come over. We laughed about it and then she checked with me and said, “You know I’m just kidding right?” and she said that TDH is the only man for her (everyone loves him). I told her I knew that. The first time I met her she made sure that I wasn’t trying to steal him from her and I told her that I was afraid to even talk to him after that. I wouldn’t make eye contact, I’d barely say ‘hi’. I was about to say that she had competition from one of the managers at one of the stores who is also absolutely in love with TDH and all I got out was, “You’ve got competition,” and I saw TDH look over at me out of the corner of my eye and I didn’t get to finish my sentence because the trainer I was talking to interrupted (well, she didn’t realize I was talking). So now it looks like I was telling her that I was the competition. Not a problem if no one heard me, but the one we were talking about (and also talking to) was the only person who did and I didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence. Merry Christmas.
I saw The Warrior today, oh, okay, so yesterday my mom comes and meets me for lunch at work. She had the day off and she really wanted to do that. So I’m working and she comes in and I tell The Warrior that my mom was there. He looks around and says, “Where is our mom?” I told him where she was checking out books and he said that he was going to go up to her and be like, “Mom!” I told him that if he did she would probably hug him and invite him to dinner. I got my break and we were walking around trying to find something to eat (and customers kept asking me questions). The Warrior was walking up to us and I told my mom that he called her “our” mom. She went up to him and said, “You’re my son?” he nodded and she gave him a hug, and you know what? She invited him to dinner. I said a quick “I told you so” and went to eat lunch with my mom. So, The Warrior is now my brother…I know The Warrior is younger then me and there is no interest in a romantic relationship, but what is it about me and guys? They all go to a pretend familial relationship. My “cousin” who isn’t a cousin we just wanted to stop rumors so we spread a different one, Crunchy made himself my pretend brother, and now The Warrior. But who knows how many more there are! Anyway. I just remembered that I hadn’t written about that.
So tonight I saw The Warrior and I was finishing my Christmas shopping for my roommates (which I don’t think it’s done yet) and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I made a sound that was a combination of “ugh” and “eehh”. If I have to exchange gifts with one more person…I just really don’t have the money for this. I want to get something for Sweet Pea but I think it’s going to have to be a Christmas in January deal because I just don’t have the money right now. These people! I told him I didn’t want anything but I asked him what he wanted because I worried that he might still get me something even though I said I didn’t want anything and then I would feel weird if I got something from him and he didn’t get anything from me, and it’s just so complicated. I decided I had hung out at a grocery store too long and started to say ‘goodbye’ to everyone. I said goodbye to The Warrior and he didn’t say anything back. I kept waving and saying goodbye but nothing. So I went up to him and said, “I know exactly what I’m going to get you for Christmas and if you don’t behave and say goodbye to me you’re not going to get it.” He finally started to say ‘goodbye’ but said that he would see me later because ‘goodbye’ meant forever and I said, “no, “goodbye forever” means forever.” I know because I’ve used that on people. He just shook his head and as I was walking backwards I saw this other kid who had just heard what I said so I look at him and I say, “Goodbye forever”. He got a little dejected look on his face and said “goodbye”.
Then I said goodbye to Baby Face and he turned and said, “Hey, don’t get arrested tonight.” I told him that was his job and he told me that he hasn’t gotten in any trouble since that night he got arrested. I asked how his court date went and he told me to “shut-up” as usual, because he thought I was picking on him again. I told him I really wanted to know how that went. They had to drop the charges because he was the only one they had charged (he was the only one who had his ID). That was kind of cool. I finally just decided to turn and go.
I actually hung out with Diva and Jelly Bean when I got home. I should probably come home and hang out with them more instead of going to the grocery store and hanging out with the people there. I’m addicted to that place and the withdrawal will be difficult, but I think in the end my quality of life will be better.
Oh, so Christmas Day my roommates are getting together to open presents. I didn’t realize that I married my roommates and have to split my time between my family and them. I let them know that after we open presents I’m headed back to hang out with my family for the next couple of days.