Chapter 6: I Like Boys

So, I got asked out tonight. It's been quite the weekend for me. Meet a guy at the bon fire Friday and get asked out at work on Saturday. I told my parents about it when I saw them and my mom said, "Well I hope he knows how to treat you right," and I told her I turned him down. He said he wanted to take me out and then told me that he wanted to take me to a bar or a dance club. I don't do bars and I don't do dance clubs. I can only take so many drunken people a week and I think I met my quota last night. I don’t really feel bad, I was about to say that I did when I realized that I didn’t, further confirming my theory that people don’t really feel bad. Well my theory is that people don’t really mean it when they say they are sorry, not deep, heartfelt ‘sorry’s but the everyday, tossed around like a seal by a whale ‘sorry’. “You stepped on my foot,” “Oh I’m sorry.” “I have to work all weekend,” “I’m sorry.” No, people don’t mean these, they wish they did, but they don’t…in fact, if they are like me they could care less if they really meant them. This guy who asked me out, he told me he had to close tonight at work, and he had been moving for the past four days into a new apartment and that he hurt his knee on top of all that. I said I was ‘sorry’ and he said that I didn’t mean it. I told him he was right, I didn’t (and this is before he asked me out). I told him I didn’t think a lot of people meant it when they said ‘sorry’, in fact I doubted that anyone really does. Of course there is no real way to prove this because people will deny that they don’t realty mean it, and some people won’t even realize that they don’t really mean it, they think they do. So it’s one of those things that you just can never really prove.
By the way, just in case you were wondering, this guy didn’t want to take me to a bar because he thought it would be fun to see me drunk, that never even came up. He asked me what I was doing tonight, I told him how there was a party at my house that no one in my house was actually throwing, but that someone asked my roommate if we could have a ‘dance’ party at our house. My roommate, caught off guard or in a moment of insanity, agreed. Later he asked if I was going to the party and I told him I was going to find something else to do, these aren’t my friends. Then later is when he said that he wanted to take me out. I didn’t really know what to say, I panicked and had a red flashing sign in my head that read, “Barrier breached!” Remember, I’m socially retarded around members of the opposite sex and at first I wasn’t flattered but shocked at the audacity of asking me out. Then, since we had just been talking about who could win a fight between us I asked if he meant in a fight? I probably have severed any chance of being asked out by him, but I’m okay with that, especially since his response was, “what is it that time of the month for you?” I don’t know who told him that was a good idea but they completely lied to him.
A little bit of randomness for you, Warp Speed Boy is back. So last summer I worked with this kid. He was a little weird, hummed show tunes at work (and was heterosexual), but I found myself having a little bit of a crush on him. Oh, I call him warp speed boy though because I move really fast at work, I’ve tried to control it, but if I hold myself back I get tired faster. So I was bagging for him once and I grabbed a thing of drinks to put on the cart and he went to pick them up but without looking. He almost fell because of it, and I apologized but he said that it was like I moved at warp speed while everyone else just moved at a normal pace. I wasn’t sure if I should take offense or not until he finally said that it was cool. Our budding relationship was given the slip though when he decided to head back to school about 2 months early. I honestly didn’t think I would ever see him again, but he was there today. I saw him in the break room earlier, but just thought it was someone from kitchen/deli because he was dressed with an apron and all and I don’t know too many people from that department. Then I saw him on my break still up in the break room and it turned out he was pulling a double, working in the kitchen in the morning and up front at night. It was cool having him back, and it was cooler when I made him laugh. I can’t help myself; I like to make people laugh.
Oh and I worked with Baby Face today and he found out that this other kid we work with (who isn’t 21 either) had gone to the bon fire, (he’s secretly dating this girl at work and she’s actually one of the sister’s of the guy I met at the bonfire). He asked how he got invited and since I was already clued in that it was a secret relationship I piped up and said, “Who wouldn’t invite him?” and then I’m pretty sure that I said, “he’s so pretty and popular” which is a movie quote that I am beginning to overuse. I told Baby Face I was sad he couldn’t come, but he had been invited. Then I said that next time I would make sure to tell him in advance so he could come.
Anyway, so I was thinking that being asked out by such randomness is a sign; I can take it as a sign from God or a sign from Satan. From God it’s saying, “Don’t worry, guys are attracted to you, hang in there, a good one will come eventually.” From Satan it’s saying, “Guys from church suck, date a non-member and go against everything you believe.” Obviously Satan’s is absurd, but either way the decision is still clear, be flattered and kindly turn down those that just aren’t up to par with you. And you know what? I probably will find someone who matches up in most areas of what I want and I won’t care whether or not he goes to the same church as me because it won’t be hard for him to be better then a lot of the guys who pretend to be good on Sunday.