Chapter 5: Stop, Drop, and Roll

So I met someone. I know that right now your jaw probably dropped and maybe you might even be a little excited for me, but don’t, it will never work out. Aside from the fact that he drinks and smokes, two habits that I find reviling (oh and pronounces homicide “homo-cide”), but he is in the marines and will be shipping out shortly (shortly being two or three months). How did I meet this guy you might ask? Well I finally went to a bon-fire at my friend’s house, she has been trying to get me to come to one pretty much since we met and I felt like I couldn’t reuse any of my normal excuses. “Oh I totally phased it!” or “I fell asleep and when I woke up I was just too tired to drive all the way out there”. So tonight I went. I made a mistake apparently though and I invited Baby Face and The Warrior…minors, under aged drinkers. My friend reprimanded me briefly for that but got over it when I explained that I invited them but figured that they wouldn’t be able to come anyone. In fact, I didn’t really invite Baby Face, I went up to work to meet my friend (Let’s call her Tipsy Ditzy or vice versa) and Baby Face asked why I was there. I told him I was waiting to go to the bon fire and he asked if he could can. I said, “I don’t know can you? Will your mom let you go out?” and then he said something about curfew and we agreed he wouldn’t come. He did however try to get me to change my plans and go with him to fork a yard.
When I got to the bon fire it was a little weird because it turns out that in the world of the heathen all people do at bon fires are drink and do stupid things that will land them in the hospital. Bon fires at school everyone stayed sober. I reiterate (because this happened this summer) that drinking around a large fire probably isn’t the smartest idea. Anyway, sorry, back to this guy. So I was talking to the two people that I knew and then slowly people started to, um, mingle. Not used to mingling, I’m used to people in social situations just sticking to the group of people they know. So my designated buddy (who was probably the only other person there who doesn’t drink) started to talk to some guys and one of the guys asked about me, I figured because I was just standing there breathing in the air but not much else. So Designated Buddy introduced us and then he just starts talking to me! I’m socially retarded, I realize I may not have mentioned this before, but chances are I probably have. So being socially retarded as I am I’m uncomfortable with members of the opposite sex talking to me. Somehow we found things to talk about, and talked for a good half hour or more and then he had to go take care of business in the woods. The guy was pretty cool though, turns out he is the older brother of two of my friends at work and he got a bachelor’s in forensic science, so I guess that may have been the way that we found stuff to talk about at first. While he was in the woods my designated buddy and I found Tipsy “tailgating” and we sat up with her. Then Wheezy came, he seemed pretty surprised to see me. I like to gloat and say that I was the only one who got a hug. We talked for a bit too. I actually ended up knowing a lot more people then I thought I would. Designated and I ended up having to help Tipsy get off the truck. She was talking to some guy from work and then she fell onto the ground. The funny thing was that no one jumped up to help her but we were telling the guy from work to help her up. He sat her up but just gave her time to get herself up. Then designated and I went closer to the fire to warm up and Forensic Boy found me and started to tell me about this one night that he almost died…I mean, talking about death and all (not to mention, he knows how to read blood splatters) this guy has certainly already figured me out. We got broken up by a bunch of drunk guys who decided that they would try to jump the fire.
I have never actually seen someone jump through a fire, but I knew of a guy at school who tried, he was sober and probably never had a drink in his life, but yet was still somehow compelled to do this dare. These drunk guys should have probably never felt compelled, especially the guy who sprained his ankle, and the one whose legs simply knocked the top of the fire down, I was actually surprised he could walk. The cool one though was the one we thought was going to die, he really wanted to do a flip over the fire. Surprisingly he made it and he almost stuck the landing but then did a backwards trip over some chairs, hey at least he was still alive. Wheezy said it best though when he said that no matter how drunk he got he would never jumps over a fire because he knew how flammable his stomach was with all that alcohol in it. The fire hits him just right and he’s a regular Sobe bomb.
At midnight I finally decided to leave, I had planned to not stay past 11 since I have to work tomorrow morning, but I suppose I was having a good time. Designated walked me to my car and I’m glad she did because then I wasn’t the only one tripping around in the dark. I ran into another friend from work as I was leaving though. He was a little saddened that I was leaving as he was coming, I told him that was all planned. I gave him a hug and kept tripping over my feet to my car. I never did say goodbye to Forensic Guy, but I do know his sisters so maybe, I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, it was just nice that a guy was giving me some attention, even if he did have his beer goggles on.
Maybe at the next bonfire I’ll actually take some pictures