Coming soon, from Pixar…
8 years ago
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Chapter 8: Eggnog Bites
Today was our holiday lunch at work. It was pretty interesting, but of course, I remembered why I avoid social situations. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t know that many people there or if I’m just shy and don’t talk to people…or what. I sat between two of the women that I work with and they talked to the people on the other side of them. I sat there and ate slowly trying to kill time. I looked at the clock a lot. I tried to enter the conversations occasionally but apparently they were “unenterable”. I just don’t really like to be at social events where I don’t really know anyone, especially when I am being forced to be there. I was finally included in a conversation when my manager thought I was actually listening while they were talking about microwaves and how when she was younger they didn’t have microwaves. So I listened to them talk to me about microwaves for a while and something about hour long baked potatoes. I never really thought about microwaves when I thought about baked potatoes, but I guess it is possible. My mom always actually baked them in the oven. Finally we got to the gift exchange so I didn’t really have to worry about making small talk because there was actually action involved.
It was pretty fun though, I got a pretty cool candle stand and a good smelling candle, can’t wait to burn it. We had a meeting afterwards. None of us were in the mood to have the meeting right after the party and I have to admit I wasn’t really paying attention. I keep thinking that any day now I’ll get a new job and it won’t matter that I don’t know what’s going on. My manager gave us all gifts and she got me lots of good smelling stuff. There is this Italian soap (she’s going there in March so she’s kind of on an Italian kick). It smells so good. She also got me “soothing foot lotion” and with it came spa socks! I don’t really know how they work but boy was I excited when I read what they were! Then I took them out and felt them…heaven! They are pretty much the softest things I have ever felt, I’m too afraid to even wear them. But I figure that sometime this week, with my work schedule, they will come in handy.
Completely random, but sometimes you don’t have a chance to finish a sentence, or there is a slight gap between important connections. It completely changes the meaning of what you are saying. Usually it’s a big rift between what you meant to say and what you got out. A couple of weeks ago my sister was talking to a coworker whose sister has been having health complications. The coworker is headed up north to visit her sister for Christmas and she was talking to my sister and said, “My sister’s dying,” and stopped to swallow or something, in those small seconds my sister started to panic (since she knew about the health complications), but then the coworker went on and said, “to see me.” So with this situation in mind I had a similar occurrence happen to me. After our meeting I was talking to one of the female trainers and she mentioned something about having a little black book and calling all her “friends” one after another to see who could come over. We laughed about it and then she checked with me and said, “You know I’m just kidding right?” and she said that TDH is the only man for her (everyone loves him). I told her I knew that. The first time I met her she made sure that I wasn’t trying to steal him from her and I told her that I was afraid to even talk to him after that. I wouldn’t make eye contact, I’d barely say ‘hi’. I was about to say that she had competition from one of the managers at one of the stores who is also absolutely in love with TDH and all I got out was, “You’ve got competition,” and I saw TDH look over at me out of the corner of my eye and I didn’t get to finish my sentence because the trainer I was talking to interrupted (well, she didn’t realize I was talking). So now it looks like I was telling her that I was the competition. Not a problem if no one heard me, but the one we were talking about (and also talking to) was the only person who did and I didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence. Merry Christmas.
I saw The Warrior today, oh, okay, so yesterday my mom comes and meets me for lunch at work. She had the day off and she really wanted to do that. So I’m working and she comes in and I tell The Warrior that my mom was there. He looks around and says, “Where is our mom?” I told him where she was checking out books and he said that he was going to go up to her and be like, “Mom!” I told him that if he did she would probably hug him and invite him to dinner. I got my break and we were walking around trying to find something to eat (and customers kept asking me questions). The Warrior was walking up to us and I told my mom that he called her “our” mom. She went up to him and said, “You’re my son?” he nodded and she gave him a hug, and you know what? She invited him to dinner. I said a quick “I told you so” and went to eat lunch with my mom. So, The Warrior is now my brother…I know The Warrior is younger then me and there is no interest in a romantic relationship, but what is it about me and guys? They all go to a pretend familial relationship. My “cousin” who isn’t a cousin we just wanted to stop rumors so we spread a different one, Crunchy made himself my pretend brother, and now The Warrior. But who knows how many more there are! Anyway. I just remembered that I hadn’t written about that.
So tonight I saw The Warrior and I was finishing my Christmas shopping for my roommates (which I don’t think it’s done yet) and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I made a sound that was a combination of “ugh” and “eehh”. If I have to exchange gifts with one more person…I just really don’t have the money for this. I want to get something for Sweet Pea but I think it’s going to have to be a Christmas in January deal because I just don’t have the money right now. These people! I told him I didn’t want anything but I asked him what he wanted because I worried that he might still get me something even though I said I didn’t want anything and then I would feel weird if I got something from him and he didn’t get anything from me, and it’s just so complicated. I decided I had hung out at a grocery store too long and started to say ‘goodbye’ to everyone. I said goodbye to The Warrior and he didn’t say anything back. I kept waving and saying goodbye but nothing. So I went up to him and said, “I know exactly what I’m going to get you for Christmas and if you don’t behave and say goodbye to me you’re not going to get it.” He finally started to say ‘goodbye’ but said that he would see me later because ‘goodbye’ meant forever and I said, “no, “goodbye forever” means forever.” I know because I’ve used that on people. He just shook his head and as I was walking backwards I saw this other kid who had just heard what I said so I look at him and I say, “Goodbye forever”. He got a little dejected look on his face and said “goodbye”.
Then I said goodbye to Baby Face and he turned and said, “Hey, don’t get arrested tonight.” I told him that was his job and he told me that he hasn’t gotten in any trouble since that night he got arrested. I asked how his court date went and he told me to “shut-up” as usual, because he thought I was picking on him again. I told him I really wanted to know how that went. They had to drop the charges because he was the only one they had charged (he was the only one who had his ID). That was kind of cool. I finally just decided to turn and go.
I actually hung out with Diva and Jelly Bean when I got home. I should probably come home and hang out with them more instead of going to the grocery store and hanging out with the people there. I’m addicted to that place and the withdrawal will be difficult, but I think in the end my quality of life will be better.
Oh, so Christmas Day my roommates are getting together to open presents. I didn’t realize that I married my roommates and have to split my time between my family and them. I let them know that after we open presents I’m headed back to hang out with my family for the next couple of days.
It was pretty fun though, I got a pretty cool candle stand and a good smelling candle, can’t wait to burn it. We had a meeting afterwards. None of us were in the mood to have the meeting right after the party and I have to admit I wasn’t really paying attention. I keep thinking that any day now I’ll get a new job and it won’t matter that I don’t know what’s going on. My manager gave us all gifts and she got me lots of good smelling stuff. There is this Italian soap (she’s going there in March so she’s kind of on an Italian kick). It smells so good. She also got me “soothing foot lotion” and with it came spa socks! I don’t really know how they work but boy was I excited when I read what they were! Then I took them out and felt them…heaven! They are pretty much the softest things I have ever felt, I’m too afraid to even wear them. But I figure that sometime this week, with my work schedule, they will come in handy.
Completely random, but sometimes you don’t have a chance to finish a sentence, or there is a slight gap between important connections. It completely changes the meaning of what you are saying. Usually it’s a big rift between what you meant to say and what you got out. A couple of weeks ago my sister was talking to a coworker whose sister has been having health complications. The coworker is headed up north to visit her sister for Christmas and she was talking to my sister and said, “My sister’s dying,” and stopped to swallow or something, in those small seconds my sister started to panic (since she knew about the health complications), but then the coworker went on and said, “to see me.” So with this situation in mind I had a similar occurrence happen to me. After our meeting I was talking to one of the female trainers and she mentioned something about having a little black book and calling all her “friends” one after another to see who could come over. We laughed about it and then she checked with me and said, “You know I’m just kidding right?” and she said that TDH is the only man for her (everyone loves him). I told her I knew that. The first time I met her she made sure that I wasn’t trying to steal him from her and I told her that I was afraid to even talk to him after that. I wouldn’t make eye contact, I’d barely say ‘hi’. I was about to say that she had competition from one of the managers at one of the stores who is also absolutely in love with TDH and all I got out was, “You’ve got competition,” and I saw TDH look over at me out of the corner of my eye and I didn’t get to finish my sentence because the trainer I was talking to interrupted (well, she didn’t realize I was talking). So now it looks like I was telling her that I was the competition. Not a problem if no one heard me, but the one we were talking about (and also talking to) was the only person who did and I didn’t get a chance to finish the sentence. Merry Christmas.
I saw The Warrior today, oh, okay, so yesterday my mom comes and meets me for lunch at work. She had the day off and she really wanted to do that. So I’m working and she comes in and I tell The Warrior that my mom was there. He looks around and says, “Where is our mom?” I told him where she was checking out books and he said that he was going to go up to her and be like, “Mom!” I told him that if he did she would probably hug him and invite him to dinner. I got my break and we were walking around trying to find something to eat (and customers kept asking me questions). The Warrior was walking up to us and I told my mom that he called her “our” mom. She went up to him and said, “You’re my son?” he nodded and she gave him a hug, and you know what? She invited him to dinner. I said a quick “I told you so” and went to eat lunch with my mom. So, The Warrior is now my brother…I know The Warrior is younger then me and there is no interest in a romantic relationship, but what is it about me and guys? They all go to a pretend familial relationship. My “cousin” who isn’t a cousin we just wanted to stop rumors so we spread a different one, Crunchy made himself my pretend brother, and now The Warrior. But who knows how many more there are! Anyway. I just remembered that I hadn’t written about that.
So tonight I saw The Warrior and I was finishing my Christmas shopping for my roommates (which I don’t think it’s done yet) and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I made a sound that was a combination of “ugh” and “eehh”. If I have to exchange gifts with one more person…I just really don’t have the money for this. I want to get something for Sweet Pea but I think it’s going to have to be a Christmas in January deal because I just don’t have the money right now. These people! I told him I didn’t want anything but I asked him what he wanted because I worried that he might still get me something even though I said I didn’t want anything and then I would feel weird if I got something from him and he didn’t get anything from me, and it’s just so complicated. I decided I had hung out at a grocery store too long and started to say ‘goodbye’ to everyone. I said goodbye to The Warrior and he didn’t say anything back. I kept waving and saying goodbye but nothing. So I went up to him and said, “I know exactly what I’m going to get you for Christmas and if you don’t behave and say goodbye to me you’re not going to get it.” He finally started to say ‘goodbye’ but said that he would see me later because ‘goodbye’ meant forever and I said, “no, “goodbye forever” means forever.” I know because I’ve used that on people. He just shook his head and as I was walking backwards I saw this other kid who had just heard what I said so I look at him and I say, “Goodbye forever”. He got a little dejected look on his face and said “goodbye”.
Then I said goodbye to Baby Face and he turned and said, “Hey, don’t get arrested tonight.” I told him that was his job and he told me that he hasn’t gotten in any trouble since that night he got arrested. I asked how his court date went and he told me to “shut-up” as usual, because he thought I was picking on him again. I told him I really wanted to know how that went. They had to drop the charges because he was the only one they had charged (he was the only one who had his ID). That was kind of cool. I finally just decided to turn and go.
I actually hung out with Diva and Jelly Bean when I got home. I should probably come home and hang out with them more instead of going to the grocery store and hanging out with the people there. I’m addicted to that place and the withdrawal will be difficult, but I think in the end my quality of life will be better.
Oh, so Christmas Day my roommates are getting together to open presents. I didn’t realize that I married my roommates and have to split my time between my family and them. I let them know that after we open presents I’m headed back to hang out with my family for the next couple of days.
Chapter 7: You’re Making Me Angry
So today I kept getting calls from my cousin, who isn’t really my cousin but we worked together in high school and everyone always accused us of dating (story of my life) and since we were both vehemently not attracted to each other we started to tell people that we were cousins and that stopped all the harassment. Anyway, so Coz always calls me on Saturday night or Sunday morning to see if I can give a ride to ex-bff (whom I have been friends with since 6th grade and trying to drop since 7th grade) a ride to church. I have finally come to that comfortable place in my life where we share no contact, except for once when she first moved back in town and I was forced to hang out with her. Build some freaking respect for me and first don’t wait until the end of the week to call me and ask me to give your friend a ride to church. Secondly go get a brain at the discount store and realize that I may not want to rekindle this broken friendship, possibly because so much energy was put into breaking it! And since Coz is the handy man for the hell hole I call a home, get me my freaking gutters and fix my bathroom door! If you ask me he better realize how lucky he is that he hasn’t gotten a hold of me because I would probably let him have it! I don’t want to have to calculate the time that it takes to close my bathroom door just so I can make sure I’ll make it to the bathroom! I don’t want to have to tell you that this house needs gutters one more time and you know what? If this house doesn’t have gutters by the first time it rains after April 1st of this coming year then April will be the last month I live here because I choose to live in this house, I’m not forced, it’s not the best deal in town, I’m just wasting money on a place that I don’t even like to live in!
You know what else?! There are a bunch of morons in my house with their dim-witted dance party. A dance party!? Who does that? That’s the stupidest idea in the world! I don’t even like these people; my roommates don’t even want them here, so why do we have to put up with it?
I think that maybe that guy was right and it’s that time of the month, it’s either that or there is a full moon out, because I am so easily pissed off. When I pulled up to my house there were a gazillion cars outside of my house and my roommate was blocking the driveway with her car, there was plenty of room for my car but to get to it I would have to drive through my neighbor’s yard and they get upset when we do that, but it was that or park two blocks away from my house. So I just went as quickly as I could. Luckily no one else thought to do that so there was a space for me
So I came into my room to chill and Diva comes in to hang out. I complain to her for a little bit about everything and we both rip on Coz because he’s metro and he only calls when he wants something. Then Motor Mouth comes in and she is on the phone, I tell her it’s like Luke’s from “Gilmore Girls” and she can’t have a cell phone in my room, because you don’t knock on the door to come in talking on the cell phone. Diva and I were just listening for a second and then I recognize that it’s Coz on the other line so I motion to Motor Mouth that I am not home. She gets a big grin on her face but finally gets it out that she thought I was home, but I must have still been at work. He told her to tell me to give him a call. She said that she’d convince him to get someone who lives closer to ex-bff to give her a ride to church. She asked me something about calling him back and I told her I wasn’t going to unless he wanted to hear me go off about how much he is pissing me off. If he asked me about it at church tomorrow I will just tell him that I didn’t want to talk to him. I don’t pay to have a cell phone so that I can return phone calls, I pay so that I can ignore phone calls, and he happened to be the person of the day that I wanted to ignore. He’ll be the person I ignore every Saturday if that’s how it’s going to be.
Right now I just want these annoying people to go fetch a life and leave my house.
…I’m so anti-social.
Excuse me; I have to go calculate how much time I have before my bladder burst.
You know what else?! There are a bunch of morons in my house with their dim-witted dance party. A dance party!? Who does that? That’s the stupidest idea in the world! I don’t even like these people; my roommates don’t even want them here, so why do we have to put up with it?
I think that maybe that guy was right and it’s that time of the month, it’s either that or there is a full moon out, because I am so easily pissed off. When I pulled up to my house there were a gazillion cars outside of my house and my roommate was blocking the driveway with her car, there was plenty of room for my car but to get to it I would have to drive through my neighbor’s yard and they get upset when we do that, but it was that or park two blocks away from my house. So I just went as quickly as I could. Luckily no one else thought to do that so there was a space for me
So I came into my room to chill and Diva comes in to hang out. I complain to her for a little bit about everything and we both rip on Coz because he’s metro and he only calls when he wants something. Then Motor Mouth comes in and she is on the phone, I tell her it’s like Luke’s from “Gilmore Girls” and she can’t have a cell phone in my room, because you don’t knock on the door to come in talking on the cell phone. Diva and I were just listening for a second and then I recognize that it’s Coz on the other line so I motion to Motor Mouth that I am not home. She gets a big grin on her face but finally gets it out that she thought I was home, but I must have still been at work. He told her to tell me to give him a call. She said that she’d convince him to get someone who lives closer to ex-bff to give her a ride to church. She asked me something about calling him back and I told her I wasn’t going to unless he wanted to hear me go off about how much he is pissing me off. If he asked me about it at church tomorrow I will just tell him that I didn’t want to talk to him. I don’t pay to have a cell phone so that I can return phone calls, I pay so that I can ignore phone calls, and he happened to be the person of the day that I wanted to ignore. He’ll be the person I ignore every Saturday if that’s how it’s going to be.
Right now I just want these annoying people to go fetch a life and leave my house.
…I’m so anti-social.
Excuse me; I have to go calculate how much time I have before my bladder burst.
Chapter 6: I Like Boys
So, I got asked out tonight. It's been quite the weekend for me. Meet a guy at the bon fire Friday and get asked out at work on Saturday. I told my parents about it when I saw them and my mom said, "Well I hope he knows how to treat you right," and I told her I turned him down. He said he wanted to take me out and then told me that he wanted to take me to a bar or a dance club. I don't do bars and I don't do dance clubs. I can only take so many drunken people a week and I think I met my quota last night. I don’t really feel bad, I was about to say that I did when I realized that I didn’t, further confirming my theory that people don’t really feel bad. Well my theory is that people don’t really mean it when they say they are sorry, not deep, heartfelt ‘sorry’s but the everyday, tossed around like a seal by a whale ‘sorry’. “You stepped on my foot,” “Oh I’m sorry.” “I have to work all weekend,” “I’m sorry.” No, people don’t mean these, they wish they did, but they don’t…in fact, if they are like me they could care less if they really meant them. This guy who asked me out, he told me he had to close tonight at work, and he had been moving for the past four days into a new apartment and that he hurt his knee on top of all that. I said I was ‘sorry’ and he said that I didn’t mean it. I told him he was right, I didn’t (and this is before he asked me out). I told him I didn’t think a lot of people meant it when they said ‘sorry’, in fact I doubted that anyone really does. Of course there is no real way to prove this because people will deny that they don’t realty mean it, and some people won’t even realize that they don’t really mean it, they think they do. So it’s one of those things that you just can never really prove.
By the way, just in case you were wondering, this guy didn’t want to take me to a bar because he thought it would be fun to see me drunk, that never even came up. He asked me what I was doing tonight, I told him how there was a party at my house that no one in my house was actually throwing, but that someone asked my roommate if we could have a ‘dance’ party at our house. My roommate, caught off guard or in a moment of insanity, agreed. Later he asked if I was going to the party and I told him I was going to find something else to do, these aren’t my friends. Then later is when he said that he wanted to take me out. I didn’t really know what to say, I panicked and had a red flashing sign in my head that read, “Barrier breached!” Remember, I’m socially retarded around members of the opposite sex and at first I wasn’t flattered but shocked at the audacity of asking me out. Then, since we had just been talking about who could win a fight between us I asked if he meant in a fight? I probably have severed any chance of being asked out by him, but I’m okay with that, especially since his response was, “what is it that time of the month for you?” I don’t know who told him that was a good idea but they completely lied to him.
A little bit of randomness for you, Warp Speed Boy is back. So last summer I worked with this kid. He was a little weird, hummed show tunes at work (and was heterosexual), but I found myself having a little bit of a crush on him. Oh, I call him warp speed boy though because I move really fast at work, I’ve tried to control it, but if I hold myself back I get tired faster. So I was bagging for him once and I grabbed a thing of drinks to put on the cart and he went to pick them up but without looking. He almost fell because of it, and I apologized but he said that it was like I moved at warp speed while everyone else just moved at a normal pace. I wasn’t sure if I should take offense or not until he finally said that it was cool. Our budding relationship was given the slip though when he decided to head back to school about 2 months early. I honestly didn’t think I would ever see him again, but he was there today. I saw him in the break room earlier, but just thought it was someone from kitchen/deli because he was dressed with an apron and all and I don’t know too many people from that department. Then I saw him on my break still up in the break room and it turned out he was pulling a double, working in the kitchen in the morning and up front at night. It was cool having him back, and it was cooler when I made him laugh. I can’t help myself; I like to make people laugh.
Oh and I worked with Baby Face today and he found out that this other kid we work with (who isn’t 21 either) had gone to the bon fire, (he’s secretly dating this girl at work and she’s actually one of the sister’s of the guy I met at the bonfire). He asked how he got invited and since I was already clued in that it was a secret relationship I piped up and said, “Who wouldn’t invite him?” and then I’m pretty sure that I said, “he’s so pretty and popular” which is a movie quote that I am beginning to overuse. I told Baby Face I was sad he couldn’t come, but he had been invited. Then I said that next time I would make sure to tell him in advance so he could come.
Anyway, so I was thinking that being asked out by such randomness is a sign; I can take it as a sign from God or a sign from Satan. From God it’s saying, “Don’t worry, guys are attracted to you, hang in there, a good one will come eventually.” From Satan it’s saying, “Guys from church suck, date a non-member and go against everything you believe.” Obviously Satan’s is absurd, but either way the decision is still clear, be flattered and kindly turn down those that just aren’t up to par with you. And you know what? I probably will find someone who matches up in most areas of what I want and I won’t care whether or not he goes to the same church as me because it won’t be hard for him to be better then a lot of the guys who pretend to be good on Sunday.
By the way, just in case you were wondering, this guy didn’t want to take me to a bar because he thought it would be fun to see me drunk, that never even came up. He asked me what I was doing tonight, I told him how there was a party at my house that no one in my house was actually throwing, but that someone asked my roommate if we could have a ‘dance’ party at our house. My roommate, caught off guard or in a moment of insanity, agreed. Later he asked if I was going to the party and I told him I was going to find something else to do, these aren’t my friends. Then later is when he said that he wanted to take me out. I didn’t really know what to say, I panicked and had a red flashing sign in my head that read, “Barrier breached!” Remember, I’m socially retarded around members of the opposite sex and at first I wasn’t flattered but shocked at the audacity of asking me out. Then, since we had just been talking about who could win a fight between us I asked if he meant in a fight? I probably have severed any chance of being asked out by him, but I’m okay with that, especially since his response was, “what is it that time of the month for you?” I don’t know who told him that was a good idea but they completely lied to him.
A little bit of randomness for you, Warp Speed Boy is back. So last summer I worked with this kid. He was a little weird, hummed show tunes at work (and was heterosexual), but I found myself having a little bit of a crush on him. Oh, I call him warp speed boy though because I move really fast at work, I’ve tried to control it, but if I hold myself back I get tired faster. So I was bagging for him once and I grabbed a thing of drinks to put on the cart and he went to pick them up but without looking. He almost fell because of it, and I apologized but he said that it was like I moved at warp speed while everyone else just moved at a normal pace. I wasn’t sure if I should take offense or not until he finally said that it was cool. Our budding relationship was given the slip though when he decided to head back to school about 2 months early. I honestly didn’t think I would ever see him again, but he was there today. I saw him in the break room earlier, but just thought it was someone from kitchen/deli because he was dressed with an apron and all and I don’t know too many people from that department. Then I saw him on my break still up in the break room and it turned out he was pulling a double, working in the kitchen in the morning and up front at night. It was cool having him back, and it was cooler when I made him laugh. I can’t help myself; I like to make people laugh.
Oh and I worked with Baby Face today and he found out that this other kid we work with (who isn’t 21 either) had gone to the bon fire, (he’s secretly dating this girl at work and she’s actually one of the sister’s of the guy I met at the bonfire). He asked how he got invited and since I was already clued in that it was a secret relationship I piped up and said, “Who wouldn’t invite him?” and then I’m pretty sure that I said, “he’s so pretty and popular” which is a movie quote that I am beginning to overuse. I told Baby Face I was sad he couldn’t come, but he had been invited. Then I said that next time I would make sure to tell him in advance so he could come.
Anyway, so I was thinking that being asked out by such randomness is a sign; I can take it as a sign from God or a sign from Satan. From God it’s saying, “Don’t worry, guys are attracted to you, hang in there, a good one will come eventually.” From Satan it’s saying, “Guys from church suck, date a non-member and go against everything you believe.” Obviously Satan’s is absurd, but either way the decision is still clear, be flattered and kindly turn down those that just aren’t up to par with you. And you know what? I probably will find someone who matches up in most areas of what I want and I won’t care whether or not he goes to the same church as me because it won’t be hard for him to be better then a lot of the guys who pretend to be good on Sunday.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
Chapter 5: Stop, Drop, and Roll
So I met someone. I know that right now your jaw probably dropped and maybe you might even be a little excited for me, but don’t, it will never work out. Aside from the fact that he drinks and smokes, two habits that I find reviling (oh and pronounces homicide “homo-cide”), but he is in the marines and will be shipping out shortly (shortly being two or three months). How did I meet this guy you might ask? Well I finally went to a bon-fire at my friend’s house, she has been trying to get me to come to one pretty much since we met and I felt like I couldn’t reuse any of my normal excuses. “Oh I totally phased it!” or “I fell asleep and when I woke up I was just too tired to drive all the way out there”. So tonight I went. I made a mistake apparently though and I invited Baby Face and The Warrior…minors, under aged drinkers. My friend reprimanded me briefly for that but got over it when I explained that I invited them but figured that they wouldn’t be able to come anyone. In fact, I didn’t really invite Baby Face, I went up to work to meet my friend (Let’s call her Tipsy Ditzy or vice versa) and Baby Face asked why I was there. I told him I was waiting to go to the bon fire and he asked if he could can. I said, “I don’t know can you? Will your mom let you go out?” and then he said something about curfew and we agreed he wouldn’t come. He did however try to get me to change my plans and go with him to fork a yard.
When I got to the bon fire it was a little weird because it turns out that in the world of the heathen all people do at bon fires are drink and do stupid things that will land them in the hospital. Bon fires at school everyone stayed sober. I reiterate (because this happened this summer) that drinking around a large fire probably isn’t the smartest idea. Anyway, sorry, back to this guy. So I was talking to the two people that I knew and then slowly people started to, um, mingle. Not used to mingling, I’m used to people in social situations just sticking to the group of people they know. So my designated buddy (who was probably the only other person there who doesn’t drink) started to talk to some guys and one of the guys asked about me, I figured because I was just standing there breathing in the air but not much else. So Designated Buddy introduced us and then he just starts talking to me! I’m socially retarded, I realize I may not have mentioned this before, but chances are I probably have. So being socially retarded as I am I’m uncomfortable with members of the opposite sex talking to me. Somehow we found things to talk about, and talked for a good half hour or more and then he had to go take care of business in the woods. The guy was pretty cool though, turns out he is the older brother of two of my friends at work and he got a bachelor’s in forensic science, so I guess that may have been the way that we found stuff to talk about at first. While he was in the woods my designated buddy and I found Tipsy “tailgating” and we sat up with her. Then Wheezy came, he seemed pretty surprised to see me. I like to gloat and say that I was the only one who got a hug. We talked for a bit too. I actually ended up knowing a lot more people then I thought I would. Designated and I ended up having to help Tipsy get off the truck. She was talking to some guy from work and then she fell onto the ground. The funny thing was that no one jumped up to help her but we were telling the guy from work to help her up. He sat her up but just gave her time to get herself up. Then designated and I went closer to the fire to warm up and Forensic Boy found me and started to tell me about this one night that he almost died…I mean, talking about death and all (not to mention, he knows how to read blood splatters) this guy has certainly already figured me out. We got broken up by a bunch of drunk guys who decided that they would try to jump the fire.
I have never actually seen someone jump through a fire, but I knew of a guy at school who tried, he was sober and probably never had a drink in his life, but yet was still somehow compelled to do this dare. These drunk guys should have probably never felt compelled, especially the guy who sprained his ankle, and the one whose legs simply knocked the top of the fire down, I was actually surprised he could walk. The cool one though was the one we thought was going to die, he really wanted to do a flip over the fire. Surprisingly he made it and he almost stuck the landing but then did a backwards trip over some chairs, hey at least he was still alive. Wheezy said it best though when he said that no matter how drunk he got he would never jumps over a fire because he knew how flammable his stomach was with all that alcohol in it. The fire hits him just right and he’s a regular Sobe bomb.
At midnight I finally decided to leave, I had planned to not stay past 11 since I have to work tomorrow morning, but I suppose I was having a good time. Designated walked me to my car and I’m glad she did because then I wasn’t the only one tripping around in the dark. I ran into another friend from work as I was leaving though. He was a little saddened that I was leaving as he was coming, I told him that was all planned. I gave him a hug and kept tripping over my feet to my car. I never did say goodbye to Forensic Guy, but I do know his sisters so maybe, I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, it was just nice that a guy was giving me some attention, even if he did have his beer goggles on.
Maybe at the next bonfire I’ll actually take some pictures
When I got to the bon fire it was a little weird because it turns out that in the world of the heathen all people do at bon fires are drink and do stupid things that will land them in the hospital. Bon fires at school everyone stayed sober. I reiterate (because this happened this summer) that drinking around a large fire probably isn’t the smartest idea. Anyway, sorry, back to this guy. So I was talking to the two people that I knew and then slowly people started to, um, mingle. Not used to mingling, I’m used to people in social situations just sticking to the group of people they know. So my designated buddy (who was probably the only other person there who doesn’t drink) started to talk to some guys and one of the guys asked about me, I figured because I was just standing there breathing in the air but not much else. So Designated Buddy introduced us and then he just starts talking to me! I’m socially retarded, I realize I may not have mentioned this before, but chances are I probably have. So being socially retarded as I am I’m uncomfortable with members of the opposite sex talking to me. Somehow we found things to talk about, and talked for a good half hour or more and then he had to go take care of business in the woods. The guy was pretty cool though, turns out he is the older brother of two of my friends at work and he got a bachelor’s in forensic science, so I guess that may have been the way that we found stuff to talk about at first. While he was in the woods my designated buddy and I found Tipsy “tailgating” and we sat up with her. Then Wheezy came, he seemed pretty surprised to see me. I like to gloat and say that I was the only one who got a hug. We talked for a bit too. I actually ended up knowing a lot more people then I thought I would. Designated and I ended up having to help Tipsy get off the truck. She was talking to some guy from work and then she fell onto the ground. The funny thing was that no one jumped up to help her but we were telling the guy from work to help her up. He sat her up but just gave her time to get herself up. Then designated and I went closer to the fire to warm up and Forensic Boy found me and started to tell me about this one night that he almost died…I mean, talking about death and all (not to mention, he knows how to read blood splatters) this guy has certainly already figured me out. We got broken up by a bunch of drunk guys who decided that they would try to jump the fire.
I have never actually seen someone jump through a fire, but I knew of a guy at school who tried, he was sober and probably never had a drink in his life, but yet was still somehow compelled to do this dare. These drunk guys should have probably never felt compelled, especially the guy who sprained his ankle, and the one whose legs simply knocked the top of the fire down, I was actually surprised he could walk. The cool one though was the one we thought was going to die, he really wanted to do a flip over the fire. Surprisingly he made it and he almost stuck the landing but then did a backwards trip over some chairs, hey at least he was still alive. Wheezy said it best though when he said that no matter how drunk he got he would never jumps over a fire because he knew how flammable his stomach was with all that alcohol in it. The fire hits him just right and he’s a regular Sobe bomb.
At midnight I finally decided to leave, I had planned to not stay past 11 since I have to work tomorrow morning, but I suppose I was having a good time. Designated walked me to my car and I’m glad she did because then I wasn’t the only one tripping around in the dark. I ran into another friend from work as I was leaving though. He was a little saddened that I was leaving as he was coming, I told him that was all planned. I gave him a hug and kept tripping over my feet to my car. I never did say goodbye to Forensic Guy, but I do know his sisters so maybe, I don’t know, it doesn’t matter, it was just nice that a guy was giving me some attention, even if he did have his beer goggles on.
Maybe at the next bonfire I’ll actually take some pictures
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Chapter 4: Red Fire Trucks
Today I taught my first class. I don’t know if I can even call it a class because only two people were scheduled to come. I was grateful of course that it was only two people because it would have been hard for me to pretty much not throw-up. The class is usually four hours long, the first part should take about an hour to an hour and half and then the second part should take pretty much the rest of the time with about 15 minutes set aside for a test at the end. I was finished with the first part in about half an hour. I don’t feel like I was talking too fast, and honestly, it could have gone quickly because there were only two people, but that’s the fastest any of us have done it. It’s not like I broke some amazing record or anything, this is only the fourth time the class has been taught…ever. Still, I felt bad about going so fast. I asked TDH (he was teaching the class with me) how I could slow it down. He told me some things I could do but it still didn’t seem to do the trick.
We took a fifteen minute break and then we went into the “lab” to work on the registers. It was a little weird at first, but then I started to get the hang of it and it just started to roll. It was fun teaching a class with TDH, we were joking around the whole time, trying to make baskets with balled up trash. On Traveler’s checks you can’t see the number line that we have to type into the register so as trainers we tell them what the numbers are. A little known secret, it doesn’t matter what the numbers are in training mode. So after I told one of the trainee’s the routing number I went on to account number and started, “0, 9, 8, 7,” I just kept going down and she kept slowly typing in the numbers, I started to laugh because it was so obvious that I was just counting down, but she didn’t just take over and count down to “1” until I said, “3, 2” and then she quickly hit “1”. I just laughed and said how funny I was. It’s the small things that make work more interesting. I ended up finishing the lab portion around 8:30 (the class is supposed to go until 9) we even had the trainee’s pack up the fake groceries, just to waste some more time. Then they took their test and still finished well before 9 o’clock. I’ve got to work on my timing. TDH and I worked on paperwork (though I think we forgot to do a few things). I was headed to put something on my manager’s desk and TDH asked me if I wanted to do some secretarial work for old times sake (when I was training with him he always had me type his e-mails and do the paper work…you know, to get used to doing it all for when I was on my own). I realized that he had been working on the same e-mail for the past half hour and only had about a paragraph. I know I’m a faster typer then he is, but I’ve never really said anything too mean about it, earlier he had been trying to compute some stuff on a calculator and he pretty much beat at it with one finger, I almost said something then about how it looked a lot like his typing. Which, sadly is true, but it’s also funny. So I took his spot in front of the computer and he read his notes and I typed. If the company would pay me for it I would just be his assistant. Get to work with a good looking guy everyday, less responsibility; I wouldn’t have to teach the class. If he moves up in the company to where he can actually have an assistant I’m making him take me with him!
We were talking about one of the stores we train for (this was the purpose of the e-mails, updates on all the new hires). There were thirteen people hired since November 1st (that’s about five weeks) and 8 of them have already quit or been fired. Quite the ratio. TDH happened to mention that most of them were people that I trained, when it actually turned out that most were ones he had trained. As for a different store location it’s true, I had trained all three of the people that they lost recently. So TDH was joking around that it was something in my training. While I was typing for him he would say, “period,” or “comma,” so if he didn’t I would ask which one. One time when I was making a list I said, semi-colon,” and he says, “no, colon.” So he gets all grammar professor on me and explains the situations in which you use a semi-colon or a colon. His example sentence started off somehow and then he says, “Semi-colon, therefore Jessica is an awful trainer.” I tried to hit him then but he was too quick. I told him that I would quit because of what he said and then he’d be a bad trainer because he trained me.
When we were finally finished with the e-mail I went to put the papers on my manager’s desk, I walked back to where TDH was and he says that he is going to go look and make sure that I didn’t put the papers in the wrong place. I told him that I put them on her desk, how could I screw up? So he starts walking back there and then he tries to play like I’ve put them in the worst place possible and then says he’s just kidding. I ask him where on the desk I could have put them that would have been bad, he admitted he didn’t know. So I asked if he was checking then because he thought I was a moron. Cause I was getting that impression from him.
I gave him his Christmas present, which should have been a lump of coal, but it’s not like I went all out, but it’s a joke between us about red fire engines and so I finally found a red, matchbox fire truck so I got it for him. I gave it to him before we were completely finished up so he set it down and kept putting stuff away and then he came over and picked it up and asked, “What it is?” I knew he meant what was the present, but I gave him an answer he would have given me, “It’s a Christmas present.” So he thought I meant he couldn’t open it until Christmas. I told him it was a tube of lipstick, but I wasn’t sure what shade he prefers to wear. After squishing it for about a minute I told him to just open it. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to or not. Eventually the wrapping paper would have worn out from all the squishing. I guess he figured this and finally opened it. He said it was going on the desk…if he had a desk. That is a shame about our job, no desk for stupid little inside-joke based gifts we get. After listening to him try to spell though I really should have gotten him a word of the day calendar.
When we left we realized that we were the last people in the building so it was our responsibility to set the alarm. I guess it had been a while for him because he sat there for a second trying to figure it out. The door we were standing by kept making a clicking noise and I was pretty certain he was going to screw it up and we were going to die right there by the alarm. He finally got it set and we ran for it. We didn’t really think we would die, but it was more fun pretending that we might.
I’m totally in love with him.
We took a fifteen minute break and then we went into the “lab” to work on the registers. It was a little weird at first, but then I started to get the hang of it and it just started to roll. It was fun teaching a class with TDH, we were joking around the whole time, trying to make baskets with balled up trash. On Traveler’s checks you can’t see the number line that we have to type into the register so as trainers we tell them what the numbers are. A little known secret, it doesn’t matter what the numbers are in training mode. So after I told one of the trainee’s the routing number I went on to account number and started, “0, 9, 8, 7,” I just kept going down and she kept slowly typing in the numbers, I started to laugh because it was so obvious that I was just counting down, but she didn’t just take over and count down to “1” until I said, “3, 2” and then she quickly hit “1”. I just laughed and said how funny I was. It’s the small things that make work more interesting. I ended up finishing the lab portion around 8:30 (the class is supposed to go until 9) we even had the trainee’s pack up the fake groceries, just to waste some more time. Then they took their test and still finished well before 9 o’clock. I’ve got to work on my timing. TDH and I worked on paperwork (though I think we forgot to do a few things). I was headed to put something on my manager’s desk and TDH asked me if I wanted to do some secretarial work for old times sake (when I was training with him he always had me type his e-mails and do the paper work…you know, to get used to doing it all for when I was on my own). I realized that he had been working on the same e-mail for the past half hour and only had about a paragraph. I know I’m a faster typer then he is, but I’ve never really said anything too mean about it, earlier he had been trying to compute some stuff on a calculator and he pretty much beat at it with one finger, I almost said something then about how it looked a lot like his typing. Which, sadly is true, but it’s also funny. So I took his spot in front of the computer and he read his notes and I typed. If the company would pay me for it I would just be his assistant. Get to work with a good looking guy everyday, less responsibility; I wouldn’t have to teach the class. If he moves up in the company to where he can actually have an assistant I’m making him take me with him!
We were talking about one of the stores we train for (this was the purpose of the e-mails, updates on all the new hires). There were thirteen people hired since November 1st (that’s about five weeks) and 8 of them have already quit or been fired. Quite the ratio. TDH happened to mention that most of them were people that I trained, when it actually turned out that most were ones he had trained. As for a different store location it’s true, I had trained all three of the people that they lost recently. So TDH was joking around that it was something in my training. While I was typing for him he would say, “period,” or “comma,” so if he didn’t I would ask which one. One time when I was making a list I said, semi-colon,” and he says, “no, colon.” So he gets all grammar professor on me and explains the situations in which you use a semi-colon or a colon. His example sentence started off somehow and then he says, “Semi-colon, therefore Jessica is an awful trainer.” I tried to hit him then but he was too quick. I told him that I would quit because of what he said and then he’d be a bad trainer because he trained me.
When we were finally finished with the e-mail I went to put the papers on my manager’s desk, I walked back to where TDH was and he says that he is going to go look and make sure that I didn’t put the papers in the wrong place. I told him that I put them on her desk, how could I screw up? So he starts walking back there and then he tries to play like I’ve put them in the worst place possible and then says he’s just kidding. I ask him where on the desk I could have put them that would have been bad, he admitted he didn’t know. So I asked if he was checking then because he thought I was a moron. Cause I was getting that impression from him.
I gave him his Christmas present, which should have been a lump of coal, but it’s not like I went all out, but it’s a joke between us about red fire engines and so I finally found a red, matchbox fire truck so I got it for him. I gave it to him before we were completely finished up so he set it down and kept putting stuff away and then he came over and picked it up and asked, “What it is?” I knew he meant what was the present, but I gave him an answer he would have given me, “It’s a Christmas present.” So he thought I meant he couldn’t open it until Christmas. I told him it was a tube of lipstick, but I wasn’t sure what shade he prefers to wear. After squishing it for about a minute I told him to just open it. He couldn’t decide if he wanted to or not. Eventually the wrapping paper would have worn out from all the squishing. I guess he figured this and finally opened it. He said it was going on the desk…if he had a desk. That is a shame about our job, no desk for stupid little inside-joke based gifts we get. After listening to him try to spell though I really should have gotten him a word of the day calendar.
When we left we realized that we were the last people in the building so it was our responsibility to set the alarm. I guess it had been a while for him because he sat there for a second trying to figure it out. The door we were standing by kept making a clicking noise and I was pretty certain he was going to screw it up and we were going to die right there by the alarm. He finally got it set and we ran for it. We didn’t really think we would die, but it was more fun pretending that we might.
I’m totally in love with him.
Chapter 3: Work and Pizza
Chapter 3
Work and Pizza
I love working 13 hour days. I had one earlier this week and I had one yesterday. At least yesterday’s was divided up between training and working in my store. I have a new answer to the question that I get so often when I am working at my store, “How do you like training?” Well it’s been almost four whole months since I’ve started training and now my answer is, “I’m getting bored with it.” I’m tired of telling people over and over all the same things that I had to tell the last group over and over. Every training session, the same things. It’s not the logistics of the job; I don’t mind telling them how to operate a register, or how to clean a bathroom. It’s the little things…if someone is buying a pack of gum ask them if they’d like to hold on to it; postage stamps go to the customer, not in the bag; don’t send bread down the belt followed by milk, slide bread to the side so it makes it home with the customer; Don’t put a bag of potatoes on top of a carton of eggs…you freaking morons. I’m just bored with it, I’ve reached my limit and I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t know how the other trainers have made it as long as they have but I’m done. I mostly blame the fact that I have to train at this one store that I absolutely despise. I don’t mind using the harsh words of hate, despise, loathe, when describing this store, I hate it, I hate it more then I have hated anything and there have been a lot of things that I have hated in the past, I used to be very over dramatic. I don’t like how the management at that store interrupts my training to tell me their store specific things, I hate how nasty their store is…it’s a little hard to train someone to clean in a store that never is. They do all the chores differently then we train so if I am training someone for a different location I’d rather not to it at this store where everything is so backwoods and Clampet-like. Sorry, I just had to get that out.
It was like, last night one of the girls at my store sarcastically asked me if I thought I was all special because I had my trainer name tag on my coat and I told her that honestly I felt better about myself as a cashier. She asked why and I simply told her when you are a trainer everyone expects you to know everything and there’s no way you could know everything and when one of your trainees messes up they directly blame you for it. You end up feeling worse every time something goes wrong. As opposed to when I am a cashier at my store, I know what I am doing, I’m considered one of the best cashier’s and my self-esteem really gets a face lift. So no, I don’t feel that I am special by wearing my trainer nametag…I actually feel like dirt as a trainer. I need a new job.
I was talking to the Motivator and her son; just a little background she has a little bit of a problem with him. He’s recently moved home and she loves having him there but she is also a recently remarried woman (to one of my favorite people in the whole world by the way.) Her son is always going along with them when they go out to dinner and she says she barely really gets to see her husband because her son is always there. I talked to my sister about it and we decided that we could set her (my sister) up with the Motivator’s son. So I told her about my plan but my sister is out…good plan, wrong girl I guess. The Motivator’s son is 23 my sister is 29, and her name doesn’t go over to well with everyone because my sister has the same name as her husband’s ex-wife…so it’s a no go. She asked if we could call my sister by my name and I said that would be okay but it would get confusing.
Later we were talking about what they should get for dinner, I told them that they should order a pizza and put on a movie. The Motivator asked me when I was going to get there because they were going to fall asleep. Then she laughed about how much her son would like a single girl showing up at the house.
Then when they were ready to leave we were talking about something and the girl who was their cashier said something about me inviting myself over to their house and I said I never did, they invited me. Then I said something to the Motivator about how I was going to come over later and ask where the pizza was, I told them I like pepperoni. Then she said that we will have a pizza date soon so I agreed. A pizza date would be nice.
I had to give Gotta Pee a ride home last night. Never had to do that before. We get to my car and I’m buckling in and he asks me straight out if I smoke pot. Can’t say I get that question too much anymore. (I say ‘anymore’ because I actually used to get that question). I told him ‘no’ and he said, “yeah me neither.” It reminded me of a story that my sister told me about my nephew and his mom. My nephew asked his mom if she ever ate her boogers and she said, “No, that’s disgusting!” and he said, “Yeah, me neither.” We joked that she probably cut off the channels of communication right then and there for the rest of their lives together. He would always be too afraid to talk to her about things. Anyway, so the first part of the car trip was about how he doesn’t smoke pot anymore but how my sister used to (he knew my sister) and then it changed to religion, quite the switch right? He didn’t think my religion believed in God and I got to have a little missionary moment and explain how we are Christians and all Christians believe in God. Then he jumped to school…he did say he had a hard time focusing on things and I just got my own personal show of it.
Work and Pizza
I love working 13 hour days. I had one earlier this week and I had one yesterday. At least yesterday’s was divided up between training and working in my store. I have a new answer to the question that I get so often when I am working at my store, “How do you like training?” Well it’s been almost four whole months since I’ve started training and now my answer is, “I’m getting bored with it.” I’m tired of telling people over and over all the same things that I had to tell the last group over and over. Every training session, the same things. It’s not the logistics of the job; I don’t mind telling them how to operate a register, or how to clean a bathroom. It’s the little things…if someone is buying a pack of gum ask them if they’d like to hold on to it; postage stamps go to the customer, not in the bag; don’t send bread down the belt followed by milk, slide bread to the side so it makes it home with the customer; Don’t put a bag of potatoes on top of a carton of eggs…you freaking morons. I’m just bored with it, I’ve reached my limit and I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t know how the other trainers have made it as long as they have but I’m done. I mostly blame the fact that I have to train at this one store that I absolutely despise. I don’t mind using the harsh words of hate, despise, loathe, when describing this store, I hate it, I hate it more then I have hated anything and there have been a lot of things that I have hated in the past, I used to be very over dramatic. I don’t like how the management at that store interrupts my training to tell me their store specific things, I hate how nasty their store is…it’s a little hard to train someone to clean in a store that never is. They do all the chores differently then we train so if I am training someone for a different location I’d rather not to it at this store where everything is so backwoods and Clampet-like. Sorry, I just had to get that out.
It was like, last night one of the girls at my store sarcastically asked me if I thought I was all special because I had my trainer name tag on my coat and I told her that honestly I felt better about myself as a cashier. She asked why and I simply told her when you are a trainer everyone expects you to know everything and there’s no way you could know everything and when one of your trainees messes up they directly blame you for it. You end up feeling worse every time something goes wrong. As opposed to when I am a cashier at my store, I know what I am doing, I’m considered one of the best cashier’s and my self-esteem really gets a face lift. So no, I don’t feel that I am special by wearing my trainer nametag…I actually feel like dirt as a trainer. I need a new job.
I was talking to the Motivator and her son; just a little background she has a little bit of a problem with him. He’s recently moved home and she loves having him there but she is also a recently remarried woman (to one of my favorite people in the whole world by the way.) Her son is always going along with them when they go out to dinner and she says she barely really gets to see her husband because her son is always there. I talked to my sister about it and we decided that we could set her (my sister) up with the Motivator’s son. So I told her about my plan but my sister is out…good plan, wrong girl I guess. The Motivator’s son is 23 my sister is 29, and her name doesn’t go over to well with everyone because my sister has the same name as her husband’s ex-wife…so it’s a no go. She asked if we could call my sister by my name and I said that would be okay but it would get confusing.
Later we were talking about what they should get for dinner, I told them that they should order a pizza and put on a movie. The Motivator asked me when I was going to get there because they were going to fall asleep. Then she laughed about how much her son would like a single girl showing up at the house.
Then when they were ready to leave we were talking about something and the girl who was their cashier said something about me inviting myself over to their house and I said I never did, they invited me. Then I said something to the Motivator about how I was going to come over later and ask where the pizza was, I told them I like pepperoni. Then she said that we will have a pizza date soon so I agreed. A pizza date would be nice.
I had to give Gotta Pee a ride home last night. Never had to do that before. We get to my car and I’m buckling in and he asks me straight out if I smoke pot. Can’t say I get that question too much anymore. (I say ‘anymore’ because I actually used to get that question). I told him ‘no’ and he said, “yeah me neither.” It reminded me of a story that my sister told me about my nephew and his mom. My nephew asked his mom if she ever ate her boogers and she said, “No, that’s disgusting!” and he said, “Yeah, me neither.” We joked that she probably cut off the channels of communication right then and there for the rest of their lives together. He would always be too afraid to talk to her about things. Anyway, so the first part of the car trip was about how he doesn’t smoke pot anymore but how my sister used to (he knew my sister) and then it changed to religion, quite the switch right? He didn’t think my religion believed in God and I got to have a little missionary moment and explain how we are Christians and all Christians believe in God. Then he jumped to school…he did say he had a hard time focusing on things and I just got my own personal show of it.
Chapter 2:The Subconscious
So the other night I had a dream that I was at work and Baby Face and Steel Eyes came in to see me. They were standing in some stairwell and I asked Baby Face how his game went, I don’t know what kind of game but the other day we was trying to get off of work because he had a game so I can only imagine it’s that one. Baby Face had a little monkey with him (got to look up what that means in a dream book). The monkey would randomly leave Baby Face and jumped all over the stairwell. I wanted to hold the monkey but Baby Face said it didn’t like strangers, suddenly just then the monkey jumped up on to my shoulder. Of course now that I had gotten what I wanted I was paranoid about whether or not the monkey would freely secrete his waste on me. That’s all I remember from that dream, I just remember how weird it was that Baby Face had a monkey.
Last night in my dream apparently Baby Face and I were dating and we were trying to go somewhere to do something in the snow, but I can’t remember where or what we were going to do but I do remember that there was lots of snow. We decided to go to Baby Face’s house to do whatever it was we were going to do and he was trying to give me directions but he was all turned around and his directions were full of “I think it’s this way.” Somehow we actually made it to the road we were looking for but then something happened and we left our car and decided to walk the rest of the way. There was no doubt that we were in Rexburg, I recognized the street and the amount of snow was right. I just couldn’t figure out why we thought it was a good idea to leave the car behind and walk. We had to go over to the side of the road because cars were still driving (by the way you couldn’t even see the road it was just covered in tons of white snow). So Baby Face jumps down into the ditch and I followed unwillingly. We both didn’t land on our feet which is to be expected in that weather, and I slide on my knees. I yelled out because I knew that my pants would be wet and muddy but when I went to stand up they weren’t. Suddenly Baby Face’s ex-girlfriend was there (which he’s never even had a girlfriend to my knowledge) and I thought it was awkward that she was there and I was there at the same time. Then I woke up.
I decided that I could sleep in today, I’ve wanted to sleep past 8:30 every other day this week but couldn’t so today I rolled over and went back to bed.
My next dream was almost as weird as the first one. I was walking with someone I knew but I can’t say who it was and we were walking down a street that I live off of. I was wearing this purple skirt that I made last year and underneath it was a sparkly green skirt (apparently I thought that looked cool that morning). But the really weird part is that when the wind blew just right it caught my skirt and I actually floated! The girl with me thought that was pretty cool and I told her how it was catching my skirt(s) just right and she tried it too. So when the wind blew again we were both floating, I went higher of course probably because of the green skirt underneath and I got a little scared that I would keep going up but finally got myself to lower to the ground. Then we went to a school and met up with my old roommate (the Antagonizer). I don’t know geographically where this school was since the Antagonizer is in Idaho and the girl who was with me suddenly is a new friend from church who is headed out to Idaho soon. We were sitting in a room with a computer and there were two other girls there and new friend was talking to them for a while and then there teacher came to get them and the three of us left in the room tried to get on the computer to work on a project. I kept saying that I had no idea how high school worked anymore, I couldn’t only think how college worked so this project was going to be hard. The Antagonizer agreed. She tried to sign on with her friend’s log in information but it wasn’t working so I told her to go to our school site since it is another school it shouldn’t be blocked by the school’s filter. So she tried but it went to some other site which looked like it was a Myspace-like website but for BYU-Idaho students. Would have loved to look at it more but we had a project to do. So we were talking about our project instead and I noticed that the Antagonizer’s hair looked really nice, she had grown it out to shoulder length and she had gone to her natural color and had it slightly pulled back. I kept wanting to tell her that I thought it looked nice but didn’t for some reason. Then she started to talk about the night before and how her and her roommates had done something for her birthday and then she looked over at me and Oreo who had suddenly been conjured up out of thin air and said she was sorry she didn’t tell her sisters. It took me a second until I realized that she was referring to Oreo and me as her sisters, and of course including Sweet Pea, though she wasn’t there. Apparently we had all flown in to do this project and gotten there a day too late to celebrate the Antagonizer’s birthday, but she was putting the blame on herself because she didn’t tell us because she didn’t want us to interrupt our lives and come a day earlier…something like that. It all gets blurrier the longer I am awake.
Then I was in a strange mixture of the room I had been in and a little bit of work. There was another trainer (because now we have switched over to work); I don’t remember what name I had been calling him. But he kept messing up and every time that he did he yelled, “Son of a!” that was it, that’s all he yelled. So I was helping a customer who was buying little random gifts for all of her friends and she wanted to write her check for $60 over and for some reason the math was difficult for both of us and I told her my best guess at what her total with be with $60 cash back. She wrote a check, I typed in the amount and then the screen said that she was getting $6 cash back. I told her that she had written it wrong and was only getting $6 not $60, I think she decided that it would just have to do and she would get cash some other time. After she left I was checking my register to see if I needed anything and I noticed that there were coupons and rebate checks in the slot where $10 bills go. I heard the other trainer’s voice say something about rebate checks and then I said aloud to myself that they go in the checkbox…because they are checks. Even though the other trainer wasn’t there I heard him yell his famous “Son of a!”. It was strangely refreshing. Then I was trying to organize the register area which suddenly became a computer area and Steel Eyes came in and told me what a good job I was doing, and kept complimenting me on how well I took care of that area. I told him thank you but that I couldn’t really take all of the credit, especially since the area didn’t look that great when he came in but when I looked back the whole area looked very well organized. That’s all, I may or may not have woken up at this point leading to this memory gap, or it could be the fact that the longer I am awake the less I remember about my dream. Which is why I quickly wrote down what I do remember.
Last night in my dream apparently Baby Face and I were dating and we were trying to go somewhere to do something in the snow, but I can’t remember where or what we were going to do but I do remember that there was lots of snow. We decided to go to Baby Face’s house to do whatever it was we were going to do and he was trying to give me directions but he was all turned around and his directions were full of “I think it’s this way.” Somehow we actually made it to the road we were looking for but then something happened and we left our car and decided to walk the rest of the way. There was no doubt that we were in Rexburg, I recognized the street and the amount of snow was right. I just couldn’t figure out why we thought it was a good idea to leave the car behind and walk. We had to go over to the side of the road because cars were still driving (by the way you couldn’t even see the road it was just covered in tons of white snow). So Baby Face jumps down into the ditch and I followed unwillingly. We both didn’t land on our feet which is to be expected in that weather, and I slide on my knees. I yelled out because I knew that my pants would be wet and muddy but when I went to stand up they weren’t. Suddenly Baby Face’s ex-girlfriend was there (which he’s never even had a girlfriend to my knowledge) and I thought it was awkward that she was there and I was there at the same time. Then I woke up.
I decided that I could sleep in today, I’ve wanted to sleep past 8:30 every other day this week but couldn’t so today I rolled over and went back to bed.
My next dream was almost as weird as the first one. I was walking with someone I knew but I can’t say who it was and we were walking down a street that I live off of. I was wearing this purple skirt that I made last year and underneath it was a sparkly green skirt (apparently I thought that looked cool that morning). But the really weird part is that when the wind blew just right it caught my skirt and I actually floated! The girl with me thought that was pretty cool and I told her how it was catching my skirt(s) just right and she tried it too. So when the wind blew again we were both floating, I went higher of course probably because of the green skirt underneath and I got a little scared that I would keep going up but finally got myself to lower to the ground. Then we went to a school and met up with my old roommate (the Antagonizer). I don’t know geographically where this school was since the Antagonizer is in Idaho and the girl who was with me suddenly is a new friend from church who is headed out to Idaho soon. We were sitting in a room with a computer and there were two other girls there and new friend was talking to them for a while and then there teacher came to get them and the three of us left in the room tried to get on the computer to work on a project. I kept saying that I had no idea how high school worked anymore, I couldn’t only think how college worked so this project was going to be hard. The Antagonizer agreed. She tried to sign on with her friend’s log in information but it wasn’t working so I told her to go to our school site since it is another school it shouldn’t be blocked by the school’s filter. So she tried but it went to some other site which looked like it was a Myspace-like website but for BYU-Idaho students. Would have loved to look at it more but we had a project to do. So we were talking about our project instead and I noticed that the Antagonizer’s hair looked really nice, she had grown it out to shoulder length and she had gone to her natural color and had it slightly pulled back. I kept wanting to tell her that I thought it looked nice but didn’t for some reason. Then she started to talk about the night before and how her and her roommates had done something for her birthday and then she looked over at me and Oreo who had suddenly been conjured up out of thin air and said she was sorry she didn’t tell her sisters. It took me a second until I realized that she was referring to Oreo and me as her sisters, and of course including Sweet Pea, though she wasn’t there. Apparently we had all flown in to do this project and gotten there a day too late to celebrate the Antagonizer’s birthday, but she was putting the blame on herself because she didn’t tell us because she didn’t want us to interrupt our lives and come a day earlier…something like that. It all gets blurrier the longer I am awake.
Then I was in a strange mixture of the room I had been in and a little bit of work. There was another trainer (because now we have switched over to work); I don’t remember what name I had been calling him. But he kept messing up and every time that he did he yelled, “Son of a!” that was it, that’s all he yelled. So I was helping a customer who was buying little random gifts for all of her friends and she wanted to write her check for $60 over and for some reason the math was difficult for both of us and I told her my best guess at what her total with be with $60 cash back. She wrote a check, I typed in the amount and then the screen said that she was getting $6 cash back. I told her that she had written it wrong and was only getting $6 not $60, I think she decided that it would just have to do and she would get cash some other time. After she left I was checking my register to see if I needed anything and I noticed that there were coupons and rebate checks in the slot where $10 bills go. I heard the other trainer’s voice say something about rebate checks and then I said aloud to myself that they go in the checkbox…because they are checks. Even though the other trainer wasn’t there I heard him yell his famous “Son of a!”. It was strangely refreshing. Then I was trying to organize the register area which suddenly became a computer area and Steel Eyes came in and told me what a good job I was doing, and kept complimenting me on how well I took care of that area. I told him thank you but that I couldn’t really take all of the credit, especially since the area didn’t look that great when he came in but when I looked back the whole area looked very well organized. That’s all, I may or may not have woken up at this point leading to this memory gap, or it could be the fact that the longer I am awake the less I remember about my dream. Which is why I quickly wrote down what I do remember.
Chapter 1: Social Problems
Okay, I’m all about letting people know that you are uncanny right off the bat. I don’t always do it, but I have nothing against admitting to some eccentricities should they come up in the first couple of days after meeting. I am a texture eater and some people find that odd and there is a new girl at work who did find it odd. Especially because she forced me to eat a piece of dried fruit…which grosses me out not because of the taste but because of jellybean like texture that the fruit takes on. I ate a piece, nibble by nibble and couldn’t help gagging almost every time. I leaned over to explain that the taste was fine but the gagging reflex came from the texture. She nodded like she would try to understand that for me. I couldn’t finish the piece though and had to leave the room to “make a phone call” and secretly destroy the remains of whatever it was I was eating. I was told I was a little bit weird and I told her that I only get weirder the more you find out about me.
To me it is okay to be weird, as long as it doesn’t involve physical contact with anyone, you can be as idiosyncratic as you like as long as you don’t touch me. Eventually you can evolve to the physical contact stage of a relationship, but you don’t do it the second time you work with someone. You still stick to verbal weirdness and odd behavior. The physical contact just makes people feel uncomfortable, there is such a thing as being too friendly. Is this making sense?
I guess what I am getting at is that people sometimes hold back their true personality for fear that they will scare other people away, and I have come to a point in my life where I no longer care if I scare them away (mostly due to the fact that I am currently meeting people who lack the capacity to run away from me a.k.a. coworkers). However, I don’t make them feel uncomfortable, at least to my knowledge. I keep my distance; I just don’t hide who I am. I encourage all people to express themselves and show their true personality right away; just don’t get all touchy with people. Maybe it’s just me, maybe if people get touchy with me too soon a red light goes up and I no longer want to be their friend, where as five minutes before they started to lean on me, play footsie with me, elbow me, I would have thought they were pretty cool. I’m just not really a physical contact kind of girl I suppose. Maybe other people don’t mind physical body language; maybe to them it means that they have just made a new best friend. To me it means I have met yet another person who is going to have leech like characteristics when we are in the same room together.
I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone else but it just kind of bothers me. Basically all I’m getting at is the new girl at work was cool for about half an hour, but then after she found out about my odd eating habits she started to pull out her weirdness. She kept leaning against me and hitting my foot and pretty much just bugging me.
As I have said before though, after a certain probationary period it may or may not be okay for you to have physical contact with me. For instance my parents and siblings are allowed to hug me, but many of my extended family are not, I just don’t know them that well. Certain people at work whether they know it or not are in fact allowed to touch me, while others just creep me out. It’s not that I don’t like those people (in some cases that is true), but there’s something that makes it seem weird if they try to give me a hug.
To me it is okay to be weird, as long as it doesn’t involve physical contact with anyone, you can be as idiosyncratic as you like as long as you don’t touch me. Eventually you can evolve to the physical contact stage of a relationship, but you don’t do it the second time you work with someone. You still stick to verbal weirdness and odd behavior. The physical contact just makes people feel uncomfortable, there is such a thing as being too friendly. Is this making sense?
I guess what I am getting at is that people sometimes hold back their true personality for fear that they will scare other people away, and I have come to a point in my life where I no longer care if I scare them away (mostly due to the fact that I am currently meeting people who lack the capacity to run away from me a.k.a. coworkers). However, I don’t make them feel uncomfortable, at least to my knowledge. I keep my distance; I just don’t hide who I am. I encourage all people to express themselves and show their true personality right away; just don’t get all touchy with people. Maybe it’s just me, maybe if people get touchy with me too soon a red light goes up and I no longer want to be their friend, where as five minutes before they started to lean on me, play footsie with me, elbow me, I would have thought they were pretty cool. I’m just not really a physical contact kind of girl I suppose. Maybe other people don’t mind physical body language; maybe to them it means that they have just made a new best friend. To me it means I have met yet another person who is going to have leech like characteristics when we are in the same room together.
I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone else but it just kind of bothers me. Basically all I’m getting at is the new girl at work was cool for about half an hour, but then after she found out about my odd eating habits she started to pull out her weirdness. She kept leaning against me and hitting my foot and pretty much just bugging me.
As I have said before though, after a certain probationary period it may or may not be okay for you to have physical contact with me. For instance my parents and siblings are allowed to hug me, but many of my extended family are not, I just don’t know them that well. Certain people at work whether they know it or not are in fact allowed to touch me, while others just creep me out. It’s not that I don’t like those people (in some cases that is true), but there’s something that makes it seem weird if they try to give me a hug.
So it continues…
I know what you are thinking. Well, actually I have no clue, but I was going to say that you are probably wondering why there is a second one. I’m lost without this little thing. For so long I have been thinking about events in my life and how I will write them in Brutally Honest and now I am suppose to just cut myself off? Besides after rereading the ending of the first one it just seemed so anticlimactic.
The first Brutally Honest really did help me through a lot I think. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again writing is very therapeutic. Life isn’t like it was when I started to write the first one. My roommates and I are fairly okay most of the time, I don’t think I have any of the emotional “problems” I had before, and I don’t have all the stress from school. Life is pretty much good if I don’t stop to think about what it is really comprised of, because most days I end up in a good mood, but then I think about what I had to do to end up in that good mood. The past two days I have worked 11 hour shifts. Most of it is because I like to hang out with the people I work with. Today I worked 10:15 to almost 9:30 because I had nothing better to do and because I like the people I work with. I feel a little pathetic always hanging out at work, but it’s where I feel the most comfortable for the time being. I think as always I am in a transitional period of my life. Right now my safe haven is within the walls of work. I know what I am doing, the people like me without question, and it is pretty much one of the only constants in my life. I have been there since I was 16 and 7, almost 8 years later it is still there. School has ended, which had been a constant in my life and then it suddenly ended, what do you do when you don’t have something you did for almost every day of your life since you were 5? You turn to the other things where you know what you’re supposed to do. You just live day to day hoping that some day “adulthood” will begin. One day you won’t want to still act like a teenager but rather take on the role your mom wants you to take on. You’ll dress nicer and maybe even start listening to Michael Bolton and Yanni. The phone will be made for business calls more then for making plans with your friends, you’ll actually check your work voicemail and you’ll finally start acting your age. You’ll have a full time job with sick and personal days, paid vacations, and benefits. I don’t think I ever saw this coming when I was younger, I certainly didn’t think that I would still be working with Ukrop’s after I graduated from college…in fact I didn’t see myself as a college graduate. I think that maybe I have always suffered with a short scope for envisioning my future.
Sometimes I think that it is impossible to write everything that I want to in here; well it’s not just that I think it is impossible, I know it is. I wish I could have a recorder in my head and it would automatically write it in here, because by the time that I can get to a computer I completely forget what it is I wanted to rant about.
We’ll just have to sit back and see how this one pans out. If it turns out that trying to continue writing here was a mistake then I will abandon ship. But sometimes I feel like I still need the therapeutic benefits of being able to write what I really feel about people and not worrying about it coming back to bite me. Sometimes I need to be able to write what I really feel and not worry about being judged either. If I drop a cuss word in here or there, it’s okay; if I am just horribly mean to someone and for no particular reason, it’s okay; very laissez fair here which is the way it should be.
The first Brutally Honest really did help me through a lot I think. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again writing is very therapeutic. Life isn’t like it was when I started to write the first one. My roommates and I are fairly okay most of the time, I don’t think I have any of the emotional “problems” I had before, and I don’t have all the stress from school. Life is pretty much good if I don’t stop to think about what it is really comprised of, because most days I end up in a good mood, but then I think about what I had to do to end up in that good mood. The past two days I have worked 11 hour shifts. Most of it is because I like to hang out with the people I work with. Today I worked 10:15 to almost 9:30 because I had nothing better to do and because I like the people I work with. I feel a little pathetic always hanging out at work, but it’s where I feel the most comfortable for the time being. I think as always I am in a transitional period of my life. Right now my safe haven is within the walls of work. I know what I am doing, the people like me without question, and it is pretty much one of the only constants in my life. I have been there since I was 16 and 7, almost 8 years later it is still there. School has ended, which had been a constant in my life and then it suddenly ended, what do you do when you don’t have something you did for almost every day of your life since you were 5? You turn to the other things where you know what you’re supposed to do. You just live day to day hoping that some day “adulthood” will begin. One day you won’t want to still act like a teenager but rather take on the role your mom wants you to take on. You’ll dress nicer and maybe even start listening to Michael Bolton and Yanni. The phone will be made for business calls more then for making plans with your friends, you’ll actually check your work voicemail and you’ll finally start acting your age. You’ll have a full time job with sick and personal days, paid vacations, and benefits. I don’t think I ever saw this coming when I was younger, I certainly didn’t think that I would still be working with Ukrop’s after I graduated from college…in fact I didn’t see myself as a college graduate. I think that maybe I have always suffered with a short scope for envisioning my future.
Sometimes I think that it is impossible to write everything that I want to in here; well it’s not just that I think it is impossible, I know it is. I wish I could have a recorder in my head and it would automatically write it in here, because by the time that I can get to a computer I completely forget what it is I wanted to rant about.
We’ll just have to sit back and see how this one pans out. If it turns out that trying to continue writing here was a mistake then I will abandon ship. But sometimes I feel like I still need the therapeutic benefits of being able to write what I really feel about people and not worrying about it coming back to bite me. Sometimes I need to be able to write what I really feel and not worry about being judged either. If I drop a cuss word in here or there, it’s okay; if I am just horribly mean to someone and for no particular reason, it’s okay; very laissez fair here which is the way it should be.
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