Nice guys. Who are they? Where do they come from? Why is it that they finish last? We all know nice guys, they are sweet, sometimes quiet, respectful and of course, nice. They are the kind of guys you wouldn’t mind taking home to meet your mother. They probably send you roses, help with the dishes, and own a dog, scratch that, no pets. Nice guys are people pleasers and they do a good job at it, they have no problem charming the masses, so why is it that they have such a bad rap?
Who Are The Nice Guys?
To really get down to why nice guys finish last we should first take a look at a few famous nice guys. Real life or fictional, nice guys have a lot in common. We trust nice guys; they are the boy next door, somebody who could possibly be on your dating list. First, there’s the adorable Norman Bates with his shy idiosyncrasies (or quite possibly plain and simple anti-social behaviors), his sweet tooth, and pleasant smile. Then there’s the charismatic Ted Bundy with his do-gooder life saving skills at the crisis center, his charming looks, and quirky sense of humor. Albert DeSalvo the small time thief with his gentle manners, muscular build, and of course wife and two kids. And last but not least (at least for this essay) we have John Norman Collins, the handsome, athletic, honor student from Eastern Michigan University.
Bachelor Number One:
Who Are The Nice Guys?
To really get down to why nice guys finish last we should first take a look at a few famous nice guys. Real life or fictional, nice guys have a lot in common. We trust nice guys; they are the boy next door, somebody who could possibly be on your dating list. First, there’s the adorable Norman Bates with his shy idiosyncrasies (or quite possibly plain and simple anti-social behaviors), his sweet tooth, and pleasant smile. Then there’s the charismatic Ted Bundy with his do-gooder life saving skills at the crisis center, his charming looks, and quirky sense of humor. Albert DeSalvo the small time thief with his gentle manners, muscular build, and of course wife and two kids. And last but not least (at least for this essay) we have John Norman Collins, the handsome, athletic, honor student from Eastern Michigan University.
Bachelor Number One:
Norman Bates, our Delegate for fictional nice guys. He owns his own home and he runs the family business. Of course his establishment hasn’t been raking in the dough for the last couple of years, but that’s mostly due to poor location. He’s sweet and polite of course but as with everyone he has a few flaws such as his jealousy and his propensity to be a peeping tom.
Bachelor Number Two:
Bachelor Number Two:
Ted Bundy, born on the East Coast but raised in the west Ted Bundy volunteers at the crisis center, is studying law amongst other things, dabbles in politics and is great with children. He has a witty sense of humor and he’s incredibly stealthy; you’ll hardly ever know he’s there. Two things he really loves are traveling and hiking. Some things he shouldn’t love, strangling and mutilating women.
Bachelor Number Three:
Bachelor Number Three:
Albert DeSalvo the decent family man is technically not a bachelor, he’s married with two young children, but that hasn’t stopped him from being a charming ladies man. He’s handy to have around the house for leaky faucets and other small household repairs. With his muscular build and white smile you’re sure to feel safe letting him into your home.
Bachelor Number Four:
John Norman Collins, it’s always easier to trust a man with three names rather than one with two. You’ve probably seen John out on the baseball field as the star pitcher or on the football field as a tri-captain. He’s handsome, polite, respectful, and nice. He’s also an honor roll student. Don’t worry about this one being shy ladies, he dates the co-eds regularly.
Where Do They Come From?
Now that we’ve met our nice guys the question is where do they come from? Geographically the question has a very generic answer; they come from all over the world. No one area seems to have a greater share of nice guys than the other areas, however, as far as famous nice guys the western United States seems to be producing more than others, or maybe there are just more books written about them.
In another sense however they all tend to come from homes that are what we would call ‘broken’. Their mothers’ marriage has a lot to do with their behavior as adults, as well as their feelings towards their mothers.
Norman Bates and his mother had an attention-grabbing relationship when he admits that a son is a poor substitute for a lover, and yet after his father dies his mother and him were inseparable all alone in that infamous house. When she finds herself an actual lover he couldn’t help but become jealous and angry at the prospect of being tossed aside. The guilt causes him to take on the “mother side” and have dual personalities for the rest of his life.
Ted Bundy and his mother had an interesting relationship in the early years of his life, they were brother and sister as far as the eyes of the community went and also even within the household, until at the age of 6 his “sister” moved him across the country away from the only parent’s he had ever known. She married a man by the last name “Bundy” and Ted took the name and soon made it infamous.
Albert DeSalvo and his mother had something in common; they were both abused by his father. Mr. DeSalvo would make the children watch as he beat their mother, shattering teeth and breaking fingers.
John Norman Collins may not be talking about his relationship with his mother but he likes to show how he feels about her by doing what the cops call ‘overkill’ with his victims. His father ran off when he was young and his mother married a second time for a short while. The third husband turned out to be abusive and an alcoholic and even though that marriage had ended when John was 9 years old it may have already been too late for his developing psyche.
Why Do They Finish Last?
We have already established the answer as to why the nice guys always finish last. If famous nice guys the world over are simply famous based upon the fact that they are creeps it’s a little understandable why nice young men in real society would have difficultly securing a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
As it would seem, nice guys aren’t always nice. Somehow they are driven to be pleasing to those around them, is it a façade or duel personalities? It may be the greatest strategic move ever, or some flaw in the mechanics of human existence. Everything about them may seem attractive and wholesome, but deep down something just doesn’t feel right, is it really possible to be that nice, or is it just in our nature as humans to expect that someone couldn’t be that nice, because everyone needs to have some flaws? Does the true “nice guy” even exist?
To all those “nice guys” out there who finish in last place in the race of life and dating: it’s a little difficult to finish first when you take a detour to kill an unsuspecting victim.
Bachelor Number Four:
John Norman Collins, it’s always easier to trust a man with three names rather than one with two. You’ve probably seen John out on the baseball field as the star pitcher or on the football field as a tri-captain. He’s handsome, polite, respectful, and nice. He’s also an honor roll student. Don’t worry about this one being shy ladies, he dates the co-eds regularly.Where Do They Come From?
Now that we’ve met our nice guys the question is where do they come from? Geographically the question has a very generic answer; they come from all over the world. No one area seems to have a greater share of nice guys than the other areas, however, as far as famous nice guys the western United States seems to be producing more than others, or maybe there are just more books written about them.
In another sense however they all tend to come from homes that are what we would call ‘broken’. Their mothers’ marriage has a lot to do with their behavior as adults, as well as their feelings towards their mothers.
Norman Bates and his mother had an attention-grabbing relationship when he admits that a son is a poor substitute for a lover, and yet after his father dies his mother and him were inseparable all alone in that infamous house. When she finds herself an actual lover he couldn’t help but become jealous and angry at the prospect of being tossed aside. The guilt causes him to take on the “mother side” and have dual personalities for the rest of his life.
Ted Bundy and his mother had an interesting relationship in the early years of his life, they were brother and sister as far as the eyes of the community went and also even within the household, until at the age of 6 his “sister” moved him across the country away from the only parent’s he had ever known. She married a man by the last name “Bundy” and Ted took the name and soon made it infamous.
Albert DeSalvo and his mother had something in common; they were both abused by his father. Mr. DeSalvo would make the children watch as he beat their mother, shattering teeth and breaking fingers.
John Norman Collins may not be talking about his relationship with his mother but he likes to show how he feels about her by doing what the cops call ‘overkill’ with his victims. His father ran off when he was young and his mother married a second time for a short while. The third husband turned out to be abusive and an alcoholic and even though that marriage had ended when John was 9 years old it may have already been too late for his developing psyche.
Why Do They Finish Last?
We have already established the answer as to why the nice guys always finish last. If famous nice guys the world over are simply famous based upon the fact that they are creeps it’s a little understandable why nice young men in real society would have difficultly securing a healthy relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
As it would seem, nice guys aren’t always nice. Somehow they are driven to be pleasing to those around them, is it a façade or duel personalities? It may be the greatest strategic move ever, or some flaw in the mechanics of human existence. Everything about them may seem attractive and wholesome, but deep down something just doesn’t feel right, is it really possible to be that nice, or is it just in our nature as humans to expect that someone couldn’t be that nice, because everyone needs to have some flaws? Does the true “nice guy” even exist?
To all those “nice guys” out there who finish in last place in the race of life and dating: it’s a little difficult to finish first when you take a detour to kill an unsuspecting victim.
No comments:
Post a Comment