Chapter 48: The Return

So last night I had a “Benny and Joon” party. It was going all right. Everyone was late except for two people but I planned it that way. In our culture if you want people there by a certain time you typically tell them it starts at least half an hour earlier then you want it to start. Then they’ll get there close to on time even though they are late. It’s absolutely fascinating and I wonder if there really are people in existence who have friends who all actually show up on time.
Anyway, so I was having a good time playing “Uno” though I typically don’t like that game. Then in comes Coz with two of his male friends and suddenly who do I see standing within the walls of my home? Ms. X! I don’t know how that happened, and Coz, like a man of desperation seemed to be hanging out with anyone he could besides her. I’ve never really known Coz to be afraid of many things but I know for a fact that Coz doesn’t like to be left alone with Ms. X. It’s like a small child with a dark room, it’s considered cruel and unusual punishment to force him to do so. Yet, Coz has his own illness that makes avoiding Ms. X almost impossible. He has the inability to tell someone that he doesn’t want to hang out with them. Cantsaynomeosis is a rare but deadly disease, don’t worry, so far it doesn’t seem contagious.
Ms. X came into the room and we made eye contact so I gave her the same uneasy smile and disengaged wave of the hand that I used to give my Aunt who abandoned her children with my parents so that she could more easily deal drugs and then ended up serving a year in prison all the while writing letters to her children about how great life will be one day. Needless to say, at one point or another in my life I truly hated my aunt, and at those times that’s how I acknowledged her presence in a room. It was not an inviting thing, but rather, a “there are people around and I don’t want them to think poorly of me if I truly say how I feel about you.” To this day I still can’t hug my aunt and act like nothing has happened. I’ll talk to her, I’m pretty much over all that she did, but I can’t muster the strength to act like I really care about her anymore. I don’t consider that holding a grudge, just because your feelings towards a person change during the process of forgiveness doesn’t mean you haven’t forgiven them, it just means you don’t feel the same way about them anymore, could happen to anyone.
Digression. So Mrs. X comes up, didn’t say anything, but she came to stand really close to me like I was supposed to jump up from my intense game of Uno and embrace her. No, I just acted as though rather than the front of her knees were level with my eyes it was the back of her knees and she was unaware of how closely she was standing. Basically, I pretended I didn’t notice her. Then she went and took a seat in the dining room and I got a text message from Diva saying she couldn’t believe that Ms. X was here.
Coz (who by the way I’ve been trying to get to have a D.T.R. with me, but he just won’t do it and I think he’s on to me and calling my bluff) seemed to lose brain cells by the second because he kept coming up to me and even though it’s his natural inclination to be touchy feely, he shouldn’t be touchy feely with me in front of Ms. X if he doesn’t want her to go for him. It’s like some strange version of King Midas and the golden touch. Every member of the male species that I have any contact with whatsoever turns into Ms. X’s next victim…I’d rather they turn into gold.
Later Ms. X came over to stand by me again but this time she made it more obvious that she was standing there to get my attention. She leaned forward and just smiled at me like I’m supposed to be excited to see her. I made small talk, said, “Welcome home, did you have a good time?” for the life of me though I can’t remember hearing her say anything, I think she may have nodded her response, but I can’t remember hearing her voice the whole night. Maybe she lost her voice box in Brazil…that would be fantastic. Like poor little Ariel lost her voice in Little Mermaid and had a harder time trying to get her man. It took all those fish friends to do it and I’m pretty sure Ms. X doesn’t have a lot of fish friends.
Coz and his male friends and Ms. X left the party not too much longer after getting there (thank goodness, I would have liked them to stay if they were just the three amigos and didn’t have Ms. X with them). Not long after they left though MM and…someone else, I can’t remember the other person contributing to the conversation began talking about Ms. X. I understand that I am bad mouthing her here in this little thing, but I didn’t do it in front of bunch of people, some who don’t know her, some who do, but regardless, none that needed to hear what they were saying. I am venting, I don’t really know what they were doing. But they were saying things I have thought, but I wouldn’t talk about it in a room full of people. While they were talking I quietly sang, “g-o-s-s-i-p, deadly and sticky”. I’m a hypocrite I realize this, I think it’s the human condition, along with being a flake. However, maybe what we all need to no longer be the way we are is to have other hypocrites just chide us when we do something wrong. Since we are all hypocrites maybe we would start to see how we all are and maybe even change. Maybe I’m wrong and that will increase the chance of burning in the world to come. Life’s all about chances right?
Anyway, we all went upstairs to watch the movie and didn’t have to deal with it anymore. Then after the movie the conversation seemed to be centered on Coz, which it shouldn’t have been and I should have stopped it because the night before Duckie and I had talked about starting a movement where we no longer discussed Coz, it’s one thing when you are in the room with him, talking to him. It’s another when he is no where around but everyone just wants to talk about him. I am in full support of Duckie and banning Coz’s name from public conversation, it’s all gossip anyway, why not get rid of it? From now on, in real life he will be “He whose name must not be spoken.” Yeah, sounds good to me.