It's Movie Making Time!

Last year F.H.E. divided up into smaller groups and made short little movies. Then we all gathered together and watched them while dressing up in our best Goodwill finds and eating popcorn. It went over pretty well and most (not all) but most of the movies were pretty good.

Given that, they've decided to do it again. I was hoping to be in the same group as last year, but Spielberg told me that I had gotten picked before he could pick me (could be a lie....not sure). Then he told me whose group he thought I was in. So I asked that person and they said 'no', then Spielberg told me the other group he thought I was in, asked them...'no'. Finally I just went to Actuary and asked her. She knew whose group everyone was in. I'm in Kermie's group.

So Monday night I'm supposed to meet the group at Kermie's house at 7. I didn't end up leaving my house until 7 and he lives on the other side of the river. So after taking the wrong turn 3 or 4 times I finally get to his house at 7:30. I cautiously approach the door because I figure in Kermie's group we will be starting on time. I slowly open it, I hear a male voice which kind of sounds familiar but not quite. I slip into the room hoping not to interrupt what I think is the lesson only to have everyone fully acknowledge that I am there by yelling out my name. I glance quickly at 6 people in the room. I'm fine with everyone except the couch dweller, N.T.R.

I immediately take the seat next to Kermie rather than on the couch and N.T.R. introduces me to his friend who is sitting on the couch next to him. I say 'hello' and then look around wondering why nothing is happening. N.T.R. proceeds to tell me that I'm looking fine tonight...okay, maybe he didn't say fine, but whatever he said was the equivalent. Then he said something about how I always look that way and I told him to stop it. Just flat out, 'okay we're done'. Then his friend who I quickly found is just as loud as N.T.R. says, "I bet you say that to her every time you see her." ...hello, I'm still in the room. N.T.R. laughs and says he does and then his friend chides him, telling him that maybe if he didn't come on so strongly he'd have a girlfriend by now. Sure hope he didn't mean me because no matter what that's not a role I'm willing to take on.

Kermie's love bug gives us the lesson which goes over relatively well, there are a few snags from the audience but I'm not here to talk about that. Let's get down to the movie. So Kermie first asks if anyone has any ideas, we all pretty much respond that we didn't know we were supposed to be thinking of things; my reason why I said that was because I asked him Sunday if we should be thinking of things and he said they pretty much had an idea already. But I applaud his efforts to sound like he was open to suggestions. Then he presents his idea, and it's really pretty funny.

I kept getting the idea that he thinks I was in his group last year because he kept saying things like, "Remember last year" or "You did that well last year". I wasn't sure if he thought I did it well for his group or if he heard that I did well in my group last year. But I wasn't going to say anything (Kind of how earlier that day the C.F.O. at work called me Jennifer, natural reaction is to say, 'Jessica' and I usually do it quickly. I bit my tongue and when he came over later and apologized because he thought he called me 'Jennifer' earlier I lied and said that it happens a lot so I didn't even notice. Yes, it happens a lot, but I always notice). Oops, random. Going back.

So in our film there is room for a lot of random things to happen and a lot of creative ideas to be presented. I actually have a part in the film (its a secret as to what my part is) and I am also the caterer, and I am the assistant soundtrack coordinator. Despite the turn out of 7 people we are supposed to have close to 30 people in the group, so the parts we were coming up with need to be filled by these extras, but we need a main guy and girl who will be there every week. The two main characters are going on a date, so they are 'date man' and 'date woman'...highly creative names. We were trying to figure out who should be the date man, and I felt that Kermie and Love-bug should be since they are engaged. That and the other alternative of guys who will be there every Monday are N.T.R. and friend. And well, if you know N.T.R. you know he's a smidgen A.D.D. and this movie will never get done. So we go through our list trying to think of who could do it and we call Soul Patch but he informs us that Monday night is his Study night (I guess he has a group) so he is out, his roommate wouldn't want to be the main character we all know that.

In the meantime we are also thinking on the girl and one of the girls in the room looks at me and says, "Why don't you be it." Excuse you? No. I try to remind them of my pivotal non-speaking role in the film and how it would be impossible to have me be the two characters in the same scene. 'Simple' they say, 'we show you, cut away and come back and you're the other character!' Genius....still no.

Then N.T.R. (who is already vying for three or four roles and director) says he wants to be the date man and his friend tells him he can't be all these characters and says that he wants to be the date man, but then he thinks on it and says that he can't be because how can he tackle himself? You see as flowing as this meeting was sounding we were constantly interrupted by N.T.R. and friend who kept throwing out ideas that they thought were funny (they....not everyone else). Such as N.T.R. would like to be Paul Revere and come in yelling 'The Red Coats are coming!' and Friend wants to be a rabid bunny, or a mad bunny, or a crazy bunny...can't remember which it is and a football player. He also wants to trash a car, tackle Date Man (the reason he can't be both), clog a toilet, throw ketchup on people, put mustard in a shampoo bottle, and the list goes on and on. I felt like telling him that we aren't actually going to cause any damage to person or property, so calm the heck down. He really thinks we are going to trash someones car?

So the question is still in the air as to whether or not have me as Date Woman (though I feel I have given my answer). Finally Kermie says quietly to me, "You don't want to do it do you?" and I shook my head. I almost said, "I don't like real dates why would I want to go on a fake one?" But I didn't. So issue resolved, at least where I am involved.

Finally (it's about 8:30 and my mind is numb and I keep staring at the ground so I don't have to acknowledge that I hear N.T.R. or Friend and I just want to go home) someone suggest that Kermie and Love-bug be the daters...which in N.T.R.s defense, he said that early on. So they will be it.

After a few more crazy suggestions for N.T.R. and Friend and a waxing desire to kill myself or them, we finally end the meeting at 9. I'm thinking to myself that if the next two months are anything like this I will hurt someone. I mean, words can't describe how draining this hour and half were. I suppose if you know N.T.R. then you can imagine, but I really haven't done the pain and disturbance the kind of justice it deserves. I've blocked much of it from my memory. It's like taking a picture of a beautiful scene as you are driving through the mountains, the picture just doesn't capture what it was really like, it's weak sauce when you compare it to the real thing, as is this story.