Chapter 34: Different Dimensions

So...I went to my first concert tonight, it happened to be Weird Al at Innsbrook after hours, but it was a concert nonetheless. I'm not quite sure how to describe the experience. I'm not sure what is typical for a concert and what was probably special for this kind of concert.
I guess the only way to really begin is to just jump right in. If you've ever had the feeling of changing dimensions suddenly then you'll kind of know what it was like for me, tonight. However, the likelihood that you know what I am talking about when I say changing dimensions is slim to none unless you ever watched the show Sliders. It all started in line. I guess I actually knew before it all started a little of how it would all be, but I somehow suppressed it and still found myself surprised once I was in the mist of it all. To begin there seems to be a theme amongst the fan of Weird Al and the only way I can even really begin to describe it is, White and Nerdy. For anyone familiar with Weird Al they realize right there I have used a song title. And in that respect I've got to give Weird Al a hand, he knows his demographics. It only leaves the question, which came first, Weird Al or the White and Nerdy's? Did he create them or did they create him? Not too sure. Of course there were the exceptions, not all fans there tonight where White and Nerdy, there was the group of closely knit goth kids who I swore would start a mosh pit but never did, some Asians and a black guy. That's right..."a" black guy. Just one. There were a whole lot of kids though, which means he has parental approval...or that his audience consisted mostly of white trash folk, the kind who would take their children to the bar in their PJs so they can still have a beer or two with some friends. Did I mention the girl wearing the cat ears? Yeah, jury's still out on that one. Don't worry, I took lots of pictures, however, it's all a matter of if I can get them on the blog...we'll see. I got a picture of a kid, whom I'll call Christopher Robins, as he scooped up water from a giant puddle with his mom's umbrella...she seemed pretty pissed about it. We had a security guard frisk our camping chairs, I don't even want to get into what his emotional problems may be. Randomly a collection of children grew to the side of the line. I'm not sure how many of these children actually knew each other, but it's odd how children do that. Adults don't do that, they don't say, "Hey, looks like someone my age let's see if they want to play." But children will gather in any groups, wherever and whenever they can...I wonder what makes them do that? Do you think it's because they are all shorter?
We (my roommate, Diva went too :) finally got our seats and sat down to enjoy the festivities. Long before the performance began a man with long brown hair and wearing a white shirt was getting escorted out by a police officer! Who was met by another police officer and together they took this man by one arm behind his back presumably out of the concert. The concert hadn't even started and things were already getting heated up! I could tell that there was going to be trouble with such a large group of disgruntled Weird Al fans who were told that the gates would open at 6 but didn't actually open until 7 and the show which was supposed to start at 7 hadn't yet started by 7:30.
In the meantime I drank in my surroundings. We had people sporting the "White and Nerdy" sweatshirts, a woman who was putting on lipstick, I could only assume in preparation for seeing Weird Al, because let's face it, we all want to look good for him in case we get the chance to kiss him. Then her boyfriend/husband came over and she helped him fix his handlebar mustache. Then there was a kid who couldn't have been more then 10 but I've been wrong before sporting his cell phone (look for upcoming blog entitled "The deterioration of the moral fibers of our society"). There was even a guy who wore a shirt openly admitting that he lived with zombies. Not quite sure what that means or how deep that is supposed to be. But maybe he feels that his roommates can't think for themselves and they are just the zombies of society, buying what they are told to buy, liking what they are told to like...I know, I know I'm giving the shirt too much credit.
We got to sit in front of a group of teenagers (I think they were teenagers) who almost peed their pants when the accordion was brought on to the stage. The people at the concert seemed to idolize Weird Al...which to me is just a foreign concept. Yes, I'll admit the guy has some talent, you ever hear how fast he can talk? But this is just creepy.
Once the music started it really got interesting. We had Hot Pants, sporting some hot pink shorts and some amazing hips who I could easily picture being one of those individuals who sways like crazy even if it's just a slow song. She would get those hips going without thinking about her surroundings and when she bumped into a chair she would turn around with a pissed off look on her face, but that didn't last long as she realized that she was the only one involved in the confrontation. She really got into though, several times I looked to her for the entertainment instead of the stage.
It really came full circle when he sang a song about Star Wars and I looked around at the group and realized, yes, this would probably be the same group. Trekies and Star Wars wanna-bes. It's okay to want to be a Jedi...when you're 6, but pretty much, anything beyond 12 years old should have probably moved on from that and made the connection that being a Jedi is just not a career option. It was just...another dimension, I really can't think of any other way to put it. As he sang his parodies and I watched an older couple in front of me sing along to a song that was a parody of a Rage Against the Machine song, I thought to myself that Weird Al is their connection to real music...without the burden of being too cool. Would these people ever listen to a Rage Against the Machine song? Probably not, even though it's the same tune and same tone, just different subject matter.
You want to know what else? There's something odd about older people dancing. It's like a really bad car accident, you've got to slow down and watch. I don't know if it is honestly because they can't dance or if it's just because we don't expect them to. Have they lost their rhythm? Has anyone ever seen an older person break into dance moves and think, "Wow, they've really got it!"? And I don't mean people you're used to seeing that way. It doesn't count if it's one of the Rolling Stones or someone whom you'd expect that kind of dancing from.
At one point in the concert I see the arrested man make is grand return. It wasn't so grand, he just walked past and seemed to go back to his original group...but did he sneak back in? He was hard core, so were the goth/emo/something kids, who at one point got so excited they were all holdings hands...at least that's how I remember it. Oh and the glow sticks! They threw up their arms on more then one occasion with the glow sticks and swayed them back and forth. But I got to hear "Amish Paradise", "White and Nerdy", "Eat It", and "Fat"...it would have been complete with "Oreo"...but oh well, we 80's children can't have it all you know!!
All in all this was better then the late night Denny trips to Idaho Falls, and that's a hard thing to top.