Chapter 25: Neurosis

I have a difficult time realizing that there are things wrong with me. I don’t know, maybe it’s my pride, but as the light bulb comes on I feel silly and can’t figure out why I am the way I am. I have recently been called “neurotic” and I was not sure whether or not to be offended by this until I finally looked up the actual definition. I am a bit offended by it and I was in denial about being neurotic until I asked my own mother if I was. Her answer, “somewhat”. Somewhat? I thought maybe that I was a bit quirky or maybe was undiagnosed as A.D.H.D. but neurotic? Just to give you an idea of what neurotic means the synonyms for it are as follows: anxious, fearful, phobic, disturbed, irrational, obsessed. I know that maybe I am these things, but don’t tell me that I am. It really bothers me, which in turn may make me more neurotic, I just can’t win.
To keep along with the first sentence, today Motor Mouth told me that I had to come home in time for her “Oscar Night” which was her cleverly disguised “girls night” that she has been trying to get all of us “roomies” to participate in for a couple of months now. I told her that I was a sociologist and she asked what that meant, and I told her it meant that I didn’t like to watch award shows. Okay, so it doesn’t make sense, but my idea of a good night is not watching a bunch of rich movie stars get awards. Don’t get me wrong, I love Will Smith, Harrison, Ford, Christian Bale, and Hugh Jackman, along with many others, but I don’t need to do fondue with a group of girls and act like I’m excited that they won something. Motor Mouth told me to at least come for the fondue then, and I reminded her that I don’t eat chocolate. It wasn’t a confrontation and I didn’t feel angry, I just felt weird.
I don’t watch “The O.C.” or “Grey’s Anatomy”. I don’t watch Bond movies just because the guy who plays Bond is always good looking, I don’t call Matthew McConaughey “McCon-a-hottie”, and I’ve never seen “The Notebook”. I’m not like other girls am I? Granted this isn’t at all connected to neurosis, but just another little way that I have noticed that I am different from most people.