Chapter 51: Stop Trying to Be My Boyfriend

So I think my mom is trying to set me up with my brother-in-law’s brother. My sister is dead set against it. I didn’t care at first but now I don’t want her to bother at all. It all started about a month ago. He kept telling my sister that he thought I was pretty and couldn’t figure out why I didn’t have a boyfriend, while at the same time he is a shallow man who wants his woman to have a nice body, a characteristic I lack, though he never said this, I just know the truth. But ever since I think my mom would just love it if he became her next son-in-law, she did this with the other brother until he got married.
At first I wasn’t sure what was going on and to tell the truth I still don’t, because I’ve never been good at reading people, he may just want me to be his wingman at activities to help him find a nice Mormon girl. By the way he thinks MM is pretty…but needs to come out of her cocoon…what the hell does that mean? But back to the story, one time everyone was leaving the house and most everyone was related to each other because we had his brother over and his brother’s wife and my sister and him, and they are all connected, and then his brother’s wife is my friend from childhood. So hugs were going around but I didn’t hug him (he needs a name because this is going to get confusing) G.I. Joe, that’s his name, he’s kind of like a little G.I. Joe doll…err, action figure. So G.I. Joe says, “We’ll build up to hugs.” And we ended with a handshake.
I invited him to a movie party I was having because I had been talking about it in front of him and it would be rude not to. (That’s when he met MM).
So, apparently every Friday he eats dinner at my parent’s home. I don’t however because most Friday nights I work. But this past Friday I got off early so I went there to have dinner, he stays at my parent’s house until 11…every Friday. That’s my gig; he can’t be taking over my gig. So then this past Saturday I get a voicemail from my sister while I’m at work, so I call the house to return the phone call and my sister’s fiancée picks up the phone and asks me who I want to speak with, I told him either my mom or my sister because I was returning the phone call. Then who gets on the phone? G.I. Joe. I said, “You’re not my mom.” And he asked if I was coming over for dinner. I say that I will (only because my parents knew I was getting off work early). He jokes around with me a little on the phone and when we hung up I said aloud, “Stop trying to be my boyfriend.” Which is where the title came from.
So, I’m doing my usual, keeping my distance thing that I do anytime I get nervous that a guy might actually like me, but at the same time trying to act like nothing’s going on, we’re just friends, because again, I’m horrible at reading people and I want to be prepared to take whichever course of action I need to take. All night he would mimic me, not what I said or anything, but I poked a piece of bread, a little action that is done when not expecting anyone to be watching, and suddenly his hand approaches out of the corner of my eye, travels to the bread and pokes it. Why was he watching? Why did he poke? Later we were sitting on opposite sides of the couch and when that happens the cushions in the middle push out so you actually can’t really see the other person, so he said something to me so I smacked the cushion back so I could see and respond and then, even though he didn’t need to at that point, he smack the other cushion back.
G.I. Joe is a really cute guy, don’t get me wrong, and in most circumstances I would be thrilled just to be able to hang out with him. However, I’m not. I don’t know exactly what it is because I felt this way before last night, but all I know is that last night’s conversation sealed the deal.
I’m a movie person; I think you can tell a lot about a person by their movie choices. For example, if someone really enjoyed the Pride and Prejudice version with the girl from Pirates of the Caribbean, then they may have some pretty simple ideas of what a good movie is. I don’t fault them too much for it, but I can’t really trust their opinion on movies. But there is also the opposite, if they hate movies that are in all actuality good, but just don’t fit someone’s genre we have a problem, also if they don’t enjoy a good stupid movie now and then, there’s another problem. They take movie watching far too seriously. It’s like when people complain about the movie “Swing Kids” because it is historically inaccurate I feel like slapping them up side the head and telling them it’s fiction, in case they missed that the movie was never based on a true story, never claimed to have much sway as far as historical facts go, but just happened to be a fictional story based in an actual time period. Yes, many of us are aware that the dancing these kids did was completely unknown to actual teenagers in war time Germany; however, it’s a whole lot more interesting with the American moves thrown in now isn’t it? Tangent! Okay, so G.I. Joe is going through some movies, most of which I will never see because I don’t watch R-rated movies and I try to steer clear of the questionable PG-13 movies. I just began to zone out while he was talking to my sister about movies, I wasn’t going to pretend to be interested when I wasn’t. Later my mom was looking for a movie on TV and G.I. Joe kept shutting them down, or giving his approval of movies that I knew she wouldn’t be interested in. It was just…I don’t know. Have I mentioned he doesn’t like “Backdraft”? I love that movie, I woke up at 7am once because it was coming on TV and I missed being able to watch it. “Ladder 49” is the poor man’s “Backdraft”, a good movie but is cast in the shadow of an even better movie.
At one point yesterday he started to tell me how he was thinking of coming to the single’s ward but then thought about how high gas prices were and my sister said, “Well, Jessie can come and pick you up.” And he looked at me like, “yeah maybe” and I said, “That would mean driving to this side of town first, and ‘no’,” I don’t feel bad about shooting him down, I don’t want to spend a 30-plus minute drive to and from with him. I covet my drive to and from church when I don’t have anyone in the car with me. I can think about whatever I want or need to, when someone is in the car with me I am robbed of those precious moments.
Yesterday he stood really close as I said ‘goodbye’ and then he went for a hug, I had to give him one, you don’t shoot someone down for a hug when you’re in your parent’s home where your mother is always close by to remind you of your manners. So, now we are at that hugging stage and I don’t want to be. It’s just beginning to get annoying.