I feel like it's hit the fan.

I feel like I am in trouble, but I didn't do anything wrong. Except I don't feel like I did anything, I feel like I did do something wrong. Here's the gist.

This morning, boss lady asked me to call a candidate and inform them that they can book their flight (unusual, we usually do this for them) but the hiring manager wanted this guy to book his own flight and we would reimburse him. I was getting ready to call but put off because of a time zone difference. In the meantime I e-mailed the hiring manager to confirm that it was okay for me to call the guy and that he had nothing more to talk to him about. So then an hour later hiring manager comes over and talks to Boss Lady and I and tells us that he sent interviewee an e-mail early this morning telling him to book his flight and cab (and the cab part we are doing). He's going on and on about all this information I was supposed to collect and I'm sitting here in front of Boss Lady with my cheeks burning red cause that's not what I told him in the e-mail. But as it turns out he hadn't read my e-mail yet, at least not that I know of, or if he did he had done all of this before he had gotten my e-mail. Still...made me feel like I had tried to hand off the work or something and I part of me feels like I should go and explain to boss lady and the other part is telling me to just avoid her. I don't know which to do. I wish I had never sent the e-mail to Hiring Manager, that would have made all of this easy as pie. There wouldn't be a doubt that he did this all on his own and there wouldn't be the whole explaining why I did it. It just sucks. I don't like feeling this way.

I have had a twitch in my right eye since June 8th. That's right folks, we are fast approaching one month for this twitch. Some days it rarely bothers me, just a gentle pulsating to remind me that it is there, other days it is screaming, beating so abruptly that my hand instinctively flies up to stop it, but nothing works.

At work, in the last month, we have had 9 people quit. That could have something to do with this tick. Every Monday we had someone quit, and finally, this week, we haven't had anyone quit. The only person leaving the company turned in his two weeks notice - two weeks ago. He didn't change the date, he didn't get himself asked to leave early (like the last guy who was on the phone with brokers telling them where he was going and that our company was trash...yeah he was asked to leave two weeks earlier than planned). What I hate is that we are still paying the guy through the 8th of July because that's what his notice said and he gets benefits through the end of the month. But overall I am glad to be rid of the guy, he was constantly stopping by my desk saying the same idiotic things trying to make small talk. I don't do small talk. I do snide remarks, witty insults, and jokes as you are passing by. If you stop by my desk then there'd better be a good reason, or you are someone I am actually building some kind of relationship with. Whether as a survival relationship necessary to get things done with at work, or one of friendship because you appreciate my snide remarks and witty comments and I appreciate that you appreciate it. Other than that, don't stop by and talk to me for twenty minutes because you don't want to go back to work.

Then I was trying to get the televisions in our breakroom fixed and a woman comes walking through the door of the training room (which is actually just a door in one of the foldable walls so that you can move the wall and merge the training room and the break room). She says, "when is this going to get fixed?" and part of me just feels like people say that kind of stuff when I am around because it's part of my job. So I said, "Oh, I didn't know it was broken." I turned off my super hero powers so I can't quite tell right now when a moron walks into a door and breaks it. So I check it out, not broken, just knocked loose from the other foldable piece of the wall. Why is it knocked loose? Probably that moron I didn't hear. So I'll get it fixed later...when I feel like it.

As for right now, the workday is over, I'm going home.

Is there anybody out there?

Just an update.


I have renewed my contract for where I am living, but I won't be renewing again in June. I am hoping that by June my sister and her husband will be living up here and they will have a house with a basement. That's the plan, be her basement sibling. I would live there for at least a year and half. I tell you this so that I can just vent for a moment.

Sunday dinner at mom and dad's this comes up for some reason. Oh, that's right, my sister asks me how it went with the landlady and the security deposit. I told her it went well, and we are signed up for another year. Then they (random family members, not amazing with my attention to detail right now) ask if I will stay there after that. I tell them 'no'. Then I tell them the plan, to move in with my sister when they move up, and if not I'll be moving back home for a while to save money. So Sister-in-law is like, "dang I could use the extra help you can move in with us, we've got that one room, blah, blah, blah" You see...I had to stop listening so that my brain could focus on an excuse. There is no way on God's green earth that I would ever live in the same house. I can barely stomach conversation with her, but I do because I have been trying to be a better person. Nor could I live in the same house as her two daughters. They are decent enough as children go, but I found a personal form of birth control in them, something that works much stronger than any pill (i.e. they cripple my desire to have any of my own). So I kind of chuckle because unfortunately I have no words to tell her that it won't be necessary, my options are being limited to two things. Living in my sisters basement or living with my parents. Either are going to be more accommodating to me than she would. Plus, I realize that living with my sister I'm going to end up baby sitting from time to time, and you know what? I don't mind. Her children are my favorite, so I can live with that fate. What I cannot live with is the idea of getting roped into babysitting my nieces from time to time. If I live with my parent's my cousins will be old enough by then that they won't bother me as much as they did when I first graduated college (would be 4 years by the point I would move in with them)....Oy Vey - 4 years! Don't get me started.

So I think I got out of it, it will be a year until it comes up again anyway. That should give me plenty of time to come up with something should living in my sister's basement fall through.

Well, that's it for now.